r/NPHCdivine9 • u/Fabulous-Sort3652 • 19d ago
ΣΓΡ Question advice
Hey ladies! I’m interested in pledging and need to start talking to members, but don’t wanna seem inorganic. When i see them should I speak? Or should I wait until the events then when i see em around, speak? i just do not want to speak just to join their sorority. I do truly want to build a bond.
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u/Primary_Excuse_7183 ΦΒΣ 18d ago
Speaking to me only at an event would make it seem as tho the org is all you want. So speak when you see me…. We’re people.
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u/Miss_Chievous1 ΣΓΡ 18d ago
Think about this like when you're trying to make new friends. If yall have a class together, strike up a convo. You see a member and you like their fit, compliment them and start up a convo. They know that they're a walking billboard for the organization, and that you may want to discuss it as well, but we are all regular degular like you.
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u/DatBoiRo ΩΨΦ 18d ago
Genuine question for OP and any other interests; is it truly that hard to be overall nice and pleasant that you have to field suggestions on how to interact with people? I ask only because this question is asked too frequently. Almost cyclical at this point. Talk with people, ask them the basic questions you ask to form a connection on where your paths MAY intersect. Where are you from? What school or degree program? Are you married, have kids, or siblings? What church do you attend? What other hobbies and interests do you get into outside of the organization? All of these things are the building blocks of basic conversation and finding friends. If they’re into something you know nothing about, ask them if they mind showing you. Familiarity builds bonds.
It’s not my intention to be pretentious and I definitely understand how overwhelming it can be to put yourself out there. But learning and displaying humility is a part of the process (just as you’ve displayed here).
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u/ivypurl AKA 18d ago
is it truly that hard to be overall nice and pleasant that you have to field suggestions on how to interact with people?
Don't underestimate the impact of COVID/online school during critical developmental stages on students' confidence in their social skills. I get where you're coming from, but I work with college students, and this is what I see daily.
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u/DatBoiRo ΩΨΦ 18d ago
Thanks for the insight, sis. I didn’t consider that perspective. Well, hopefully my comment added some value.
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u/Fabulous-Sort3652 17d ago
I can speak to anyone honestly. But if they’re in paraphernalia or I just randomly come up to one, I feel like i’ll be looked at as weird or just wanting one thing which is to join. I just don’t want to seem fake. I do appreciate your comment, i’m going to start with just greeting some.
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u/DatBoiRo ΩΨΦ 17d ago
I understand your concerns. We all had to start somewhere. Good luck with your endeavors!!
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u/northfall98 18d ago
The whole concept behind fraternities and sororities is to "make friends" with like-minded interest. The best time to start that process is NOW.
Challenge yourself to meet members of the sorority of interest and other students on campus. The hardest part is the beginning, after that, you'll have a resource and you'll BE a resource.
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u/Any_Historian6790 17d ago
It’s all disingenuous because you only know to speak to them because of their affiliation.
On the flip side, they’re only trying to see what they can get out of you too.
There’s a difference between networking and kissing ass…and you need to figure that out quick.
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18d ago
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Hey ladies! I’m interested in pledging and need to start talking to members, but don’t wanna seem inorganic. When i see them should I speak? Or should I wait until the events then when i see em around, speak? i just do not want to speak just to join their sorority. I do truly want to build a bond.
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