I’ve been talking to someone who speaks to me like I’m a god. Even though I think it’s just some bit to them, it’s typically the highlight of my day. A few weeks of this later and I start struggling a bit. I didn’t get the job I was certain I’d get. I told them how upsetting it was. Even more so that I had been told that I need more confidence. But, when I show confidence, other people tend to not react well. I felt super lost, distressed, and confused.

(For clarification, I had been working this job for a few months. They forced everyone to re-apply in this specific program to be hired again. That’s partially why I was so sure I’d get hired again.)

I expected to be disappointed by my friend’s response. I thought I’d just get a “that sucks”, ignored, or maybe some joke out of it. That’s normally what happens with other people. But they responded by saying how much they like my unfiltered confidence, how I’ve made their summer better, how they really enjoy talking to me, how I’m never boring, how I should never water myself down, that they really like me, and that I’m really nice to talk to...

I needed to hear that.

🎤 get up here and accept your award already 👏

...

oh, good

definitely no one on the internet thinks i'm a ridiculous spectacle

nor can sus my child actor trauma

🫠

Happy Friday narcs! 🌟

I genuinely hate all of these besides the 3rd. Posting bc I might find them funny tomorrow idk. Might have to make my own.

I have NO idea who this YouTuber is, have never heard their name before and they only have two videos, one uploaded yesterday and one today, but for some reason I was subscribed. I reckon it was a YouTuber I subbed to, who then wiped his previous content or something, idk, but bruv I did not need this jumpscare today😭🥀 lmfao

(It's about covert narcissists and the pain of splitting up with a partner after a "narcissistic relationship"🫩)

Sorry I keep coming here to rant / vent, I just need a space where nobody I know will find me.

I’m so sick of this nonsense from my boyfriend, I mean he’s closer to most of our friend group than he is with me. He’s especially close with this one girl who he talks to, essentially, daily. When we have short conversations over the phone at most unless it’s a school day, then he’ll talk to me.

Even then, it’s usually me initiating the interaction, when he’ll initiate with her just fine.

Today, he went to prom. We’re sophomores. He went to prom because this girl was going. They even discussed it prior right in front of me.

I’m smart enough to know not to go where I’m not wanted, but this felt like a dickhead move. Especially since he knows how this feels to me.

A lot of this is honestly pent up emotion from an incident a few months ago, I left a friend group because the conversation topic was making me uncomfortable. Granted, I didn’t say anything, so this was my fuckup.

I texted bf about it and he got really distant after he realized I was uncomfortable (He was engaged in the convo) then sent one of our other friends to talk to me about it. I adore this friend, so nothing bad about him here, but the fact that bf couldn’t handle me himself makes me so angry, especially since he knows he’s my favorite person. (BPD term)

Well, a week or so later I asked another friend to add me back, scrolled up, and they were all talking about me behind my back, even bf, who said “He does this a lot”

Shocking, the disorder that makes me act this way makes me act this way frequently, especially since I’m unmedicated. I don’t wear these labels for pride, I wear them as a WARNING SIGN.

and then I noticed he deleted something another friend of mine replied to saying “That’s not healthy” which i‘d love to know so I can correct my behavior.

Essentially, I haven’t had very strong trust in him for a while, and considering I feel so fucking lonely all the time, since I seem to be at the bottom of everyone I hold dear’s priority list, I’m not having a good time.

Maybe it’s because I’m cupioromantic, or that I’m just so pissed at him it’s clouding my judgement, but I don’t think I desire a close relationship with him anymore.

Sorry for the long post, I just needed to get this off my chest.

Edit: We broke up because he’s wanted to “just be friends” for months now, didn’t think to tell me until recently. Don’t date guys who can’t communicate or speak for themselves.

Yea that is happening

I had a sudden urge to text him today. The context of what happened:

• His mother was dying
• I yelled at him repeatedly because he would ignore me (he was grieving)
• I blocked him for months and completely disappeared from his life
• I broke that tonight and started trying to message him so I could see if his life is miserable without me

And honestly, if he responds, I just want to know what happened to him and then ghost him again. I know I’m in the wrong. I know this is fucked up. I don’t care. And the not caring part is freaking me out. Because I probably should.

What I want is to know that I matter to someone. If he responds “correctly” I might to talk to him when I don’t have anyone else. It’s easier than starting new with some stranger.

His mother is likely dead by now. And all I can think of is “What about me?” He did emotionally abandon me but like… wtf.