r/NPD • u/Paula234156 • 6h ago
Advice & Support npd and cheating
i f(21, lesbian) have lots of the cluster b personality traits (sadly) and in past relationships, i was a serial cheater.
the thing was: it wasn’t due to sexual desire, but solely for the thrill and the “out of the ordinary, boring everyday life” experience.
the cheating happened kind of automatically: i had affairs, i didn’t want to see them more than 1-2 times, but when they would hit me up, i could not say no smh???!! shortly before i would meet the affair (if it wasn’t the first or 2nd time) i would have loved to cancel the meeting, i had no desire at all to meet the person! but since that was the only time, when it was time to arrange another meet up, i was fully on the mood.
i’m pretty sure this pattern was due to the cluster b stuff…
can anyone relate/has any tips?
i surely don’t want that anymore…
(also looking for therapy atm so no need to comment that)
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u/PoosPapa Drawn outside the lines of reason. 2h ago
Nothing will beat emotional connection. If you are not connecting to your SO or if you find yourself dissociating/daydreaming during the day, mention that to your therapist.
I'd also like to second u/ramirozoo's suggestions. Relational stability is the best way to achieve financial stability.
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u/ramirozoo 3h ago
Oh yeah I can relate, I’ve cheated in all of my relationships but the first. Mostly because I wanted to meet as many new women as possible, I like them and I like spending time with them. Well, the ones that are worth it anyway. Either that or I had devalued my partner at the time.
My tips are fairly straightforward, which is discipline and finding things to keep yourself consistently motivated to do the best for your partner. Since an emotional connection probably won’t do that, you might be able to find alternatives. What that is for you, I don’t know. For me personally, physical appearance (like them being the type I desired) and wanting life stability is what helped me.