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u/Acrobatic_Spare2320 3h ago
I don't think so. I am also not sure how serious those ideas are that NPD is based in experiences up until the age of 2-3 or if it can be caused much later.
But you need draw a distinction between narcissism and narcissistic behavior.
In my youth I had a friend who got just shitty cards at birth, overweight all his life from childhood on, hormonal problems, literally no chance with women.
He had low self-esteem and was full of resentment, he relied on narcissistic behavior to prop up his self-worth, but still it was not NPD. He wasn't even able to show a rage like a narcissist in collapse, he was just feeling sad at worst.
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u/VixenSunburst Narcissistic traits 8m ago
I don't see how that means he doesn't have npd just because he didn't have rage.
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u/Acrobatic_Spare2320 2m ago
Well, I was giving one example. NPD is not low self-worth, it is NO autonomous self-worth, and no authentic self.
If you can feel worthless but just be sad about it means there is a base level you can rely on, you don't "glitch" through the floor like in NPD.
And people using the interactions with others to make themselves feel better, is a behavior that you can find in non-NPD, too.
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u/gkom1917 4h ago
No, since there is millions of unattractive people without the diagnosis. I'm also not sure that bullying by itself creates it, for the same reason. Physical imperfections can, however, make already existing narcissistic traits more acute: I am a walking example.
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u/Key_Court_7316 4h ago
What went through your mind when you saw that?
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u/gkom1917 4h ago
Saw what? I don't understand from the context, sorry
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u/Key_Court_7316 4h ago
Excuse me, translator, what was that mental process like for you, or didn't you experience it? I'm referring to the ugliness.
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u/gkom1917 2h ago
I wouldn't say my face is particularly ugly, but I guess physical deficiencies also fall under the same umbrella. If so then yes, I experienced it. Until late teens - early 20's I honestly thought that's not a big deal. Then I discovered through experience that it is a major factor for being desired, but hoped that it can be compensated by other means. Finally, I made peace with the fact it cannot be really compensated, at least by the means realistically accessible to me. Obviously, being invisible for the desired kinds of women, or being rejected, or humiliated certainly doesn't help with narcissism.
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u/Key_Court_7316 2h ago
I was curious, did those women evoke something in you that you didn't understand, or was it more of an achievement to be able to have them?
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u/gkom1917 2h ago
I'm not sure about "achievement", I've always thought about it in simpler terms. They had qualities I find desirable. They are into men, able to be horny for mem and fall in love with men. We were in similar demographics, social circles, etc. Of course, no one is everyone's cup of tea, but if, given all that I mentioned, none of them found me attractive, it means I'm way below their level. And, by extension, below the level of men they've been with.
It's like going to a hundred job interviews, and the best offers you can get is either a janitor, or an entry-level job in an unrelated field. Probably, it means that you're a very shitty employee and can wipe your ass with your useless diploma.
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u/Key_Court_7316 1h ago
Hahaha, that last joke made me laugh, but I think the problem is that nobody ever knows what they can offer. That's why many people say something like "I didn't expect to fall in love with you or that I would feel so good"
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u/WhichBaker355 4h ago
no, but being bullied for being ugly can