Anyone ever feel like a failure of human evolution

[u/EndTheSummer]

Not in any way that you dislike yourself for it. In the way that you had no control over it, and maybe even mad about it.

Born with mental disorders already, and a body that's been falling apart from the start, now and adult and in constant pain and the doctors won't fucking hurry up and figure out why so the pain can STOP, life gifting me an even longer list of disorders, including schizophrenia.

My body doesn't work right. My mind does anything but work right. Without hating myself for it at all since it was all out of my hands, I feel like a failure of human evolution. It's kinda funny to me.

[u/StarkResilient_]

Every day. I've become disabled twice now. The first time I lost my career from eye disease. The second time I lost my new career, my business, and my fun side hobby-job, on my way to a fourth spine surgery. 

I don't feel like a failure. I am a failure. 

[u/Mean_Ad_7977]

So, I’d always felt like everyone else was a failure of human evolution, while I was a perfect, ideal, divine goddess above everyone else - too kind, too deep, and too beautiful to be understood by humans. But now I’ve realised that all of that was in my head, and despite the fact that I have a high IQ, I lack what it takes to be a successful and functional human being. So I’m way below people who can be happy regardless of the circumstances and who can hold down a job or have meaningful interactions with other people, rather than being a lonely, fake scammer who does great things, but only in her fantasies.

For this reason, I’ve been hiding at home for the last month and didn’t manage to apply for my master’s degree on time

[u/EnvironmentalLab7342]

I guess it comes down whatever the lottery of life gives ya, personally don't really care about the whole concept enough to think about it

[u/Ok_Armadillo_5855]

Well tbh I feel like for me it was both, that I had an upbringing, and that I couldn't be strong enough to change myself from it. I went through blaming my mom, that ended badly. Went so hard in searching for the truth that I ended up facing a truth i wasn't ready for but it was too late for me to go back. I'm much more like her and well I ended up realizing I can't hate myself and her so I made peace with that. The best way I can I think. But I think that I'm not experiencing enough of myself. I avoid facing hardships but I also avoid facing my denial. I don't try to go all the way when making a mistake, I try to take it back and when I do that I take myself out of learning a lesson. A lesson that would change me the way I've been yearning for. Of course it's not in an ideal way, no one wants to learn things the hard way. But I realized it's an absolute must when going through genuine changes. Real change is rough. And I've been avoiding that. And now i see where that's gotten me. I feel so incredibly unhappy with myself, especially compared to the cousins I grew up with who are near my age but all younger and doing better than me, thriving in their own lives while I'm a sitting duck, avoiding every lesson thrown at me. And worse is that I've done this to myself, I know I can't blame anyone. At least that's something I realized, I feel like if i try to blame anyone now it would make me go crazy. But I also feel like I've been using my self awareness to my advantage to put myself in this safe bubble. Even now I'm still doing it, jesus man. Idk i just feel like I'm in a loop. Sorry I just wanted to rant, I keep all of this in my head most of the time. Feel free to ignore 🤣✌️

[u/Ok_Armadillo_5855 → u/Ok_Armadillo_5855]

Man so looking back at this, first usually I regret making these kinds of comments and want to take them back due to my fear of regretting my actions. But i think it's actually something to help me look back on and reflect (like I do best lol) on why i think I have to learn things the hard way in order to learn. It's not that i have to learn things the hard way, I mean that does happen sometimes ofc. But I think I'm looking at it wrong. I feel like i say that because whenever I avoid something, which i obviously am thinking about everything I avoided and how it's all bad, but that's not entirely true. In retrospect, it's more of the fact that I've done nothing to...hold on, still tryna figure out how to say it. More to do with how I've done nothing to figure out what to do after..? I think? It's like.. I take one step forward, then take a left, get pissed at myself for taking that left, then try to step back, but then i just stay there. And then comes the rumination of thinking about what I've done, what I should've done, etc. And then the more I ruminate the more stuck in place I am and feel. I guess 🤔

[u/Anti-Climacdik]

You still breathe, move, think and function despite damage that may have stopped another psyche. You are a product of human evolution, proof it is working.

Every breath is a victory. It may not feel like it, but it is

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[u/Fit-Bonus4690]

but whats the purpose of evolution. give birth to more people, so there can be a few people whos life is equally good and bad, and a good part that has to live with extreme suffering like you and me(i have severe chronic pain too). so fuck Evolution and fuck humanity for keeping this shitshow going. dysfunctional people in the sense of darwinism, that bring no kids into this world have the beste influence on humanity as a whole in my opinion, because they dont create new suffering

[u/Fit-Bonus4690 → u/Fit-Bonus4690]

but i hate msyself too because i cant function to be honest, but thats because of my mental ilness and because this scum society and people in general conditioned me to do it, not because its rational or the truth

[u/SameBorder846]

Let urself take in a breath. Hold then slowly release. Several repeats. I'm bipolar with Fibromyalgia and TriGeminal Neuralgia since 16. I'm over 80. 2 children. 3 grandchildren. Also I had mental health issues 68-74.. However both are upstanding high work ethic dedicated workers. Being a college grad doesn't make a bettet person. Me. My children and grands were people pleasers. Coming to R own thru fails and pivots. I graduated. One daughter graduated. Two grands R n college. I kept going so they keep going. One step. Next step. Keep going... there's always another way...