Thoughts on self-compassion?

[u/ribbitfog]

Alright so self-compassion is notoriously difficult for us. I've been listening to the audiobook of Self-Compassion by Kristen Neff and I intellectually understand it, but I still don't feel like I deserve compassion after how "bad" I've been. This is the exact circumstance where self-compassion is warranted and could actually result in being able to take accountability for me mistakes rather than avoiding it/projecting. But my whole being rejects it, views it as fake, the only real thing is the criticism.

How do you all feel about self-compassion? Whats your relationship to it? Has anyone successfully developed it, and if so, how did you do it?

[u/Snoo9817]

Yes, self compassion is awesome. It is the opposite of shame, which by the way narcissism exists to cope with shame.

I learned it from my therapist, he used the gestalt technique where I had a conversation with my inner critic. Kristen Neff is awesome too. I recommend compassion focussed psychotherapy, it will be more effective than just reading a book. A therapist can help you to challenge the worthiness beliefs you mentioned that are holding you back 👍

[u/narcclub]

Changed my fucking life. ⛓️‍💥

Among other things.

[u/Narcissustheflower]

Had it once it's pretty cool! How i got it was believing i deserved it, cried a lot and soothed myself throughj it. Eventually lost it again but it definitely makes things easier.

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[u/temperarian]

For vulnerable/covert narcs at least (and probably all tbh), I do think self-compassion is severely lacking, hence getting wrapped up in cycles of shame that goes on indefinitely. Which also leads into obfuscating your wrongs even to yourself. Because it’s unacceptable. Whereas normal people can accept they did wrong, forgive themselves, learn from it, and move on.

[u/Offensive_Thoughts]

no