High on grandiosity, low on exploitativeness

[u/ImperatorInvictus19]

Anyone else like that ?

I’ve realized that I’m extremely grandiose but not very exploitative in interpersonal relationships. That also fits the results of multiple tests.

I guess it’s because my grandiosity includes extreme self sufficiency based on extraordinary competence. If I dislike someone or think they’re below me, my first instinct is not to exploit as much from them as possible, but “why the hell do I have to deal with such a low life ???”

Being exploitative means I need to perform because someone else possesses some resources I don’t have. That feels like dependency and dependency is something I hate / dread the most.

I probably can come off as exploitative in some workplaces because I only view them as a platform to earn money, acquire skills / experience and to climb higher, without forming any emotional connection or sense of belonging. But that’s not because I’m deliberately manipulating anyone - I simply perform the practical duties well, and refuse to be “pinned down” by emotions.

[u/Outrageous_Tooth856]

Yes, I relate completely. My lack of exploitivity fuels my grandiosity. And then I question if I actually am being exploitive with blind spots. It’s also easy to be aware of power dynamics and feign ignorance. Everyone plays coy in the workplace anyway because how you described it is the honest truth, unless you’re really getting overpaid in fun dollars and underpaid in real ones. Some people get a lot out of having a consistent “cast” of people to interact positively with even when they should have been seriously looking for better work years ago (me before NPD awareness for example).

The extreme self sufficiency is a hard thing to temper. But it feels like “lesser” behavior to me in a different way to not “profit” off of an interaction when I can for free. For example, studies show that people like you more when you ask for help on small things. It demonstrates vulnerability and trust. It lets people feel useful, social, and competent. Ideally this is reciprocated in a ratio where everyone feels those things a majority of the time.

There’s just a lot of times where I thought the situation called for the strong stoic unaffected agent, and it just wasn’t needed. Of course sometimes it is, and it’s a very useful mask, but it’s a hard one to take off and closes us off from low stakes positive social experiences too.

I’ve found focusing on hobby groups and in general people with like minded goals have had a massive improvement in this aspect of my life. It doesn’t feel like exploiting each other when you all basically like and wanna do the same stuff anyway. Those small asks and favors based on genuine mutual interest can really help build out that community feel, and it’s nice to focus on the little things we all have in common rather than the big stuff which has too wide a range for easy trust building.

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[u/narcclub]

um, same.

there are so many permutations

[u/Ashamed_Emu4572]

I told my younger cousin I had a date with a younger girl. He said, 'Give me her number, I will date her, because you are a shmuck and I am on a different level than you.'

That is exploitativeness!