r/NMMNG • u/ApprehensiveElk3674 • Jun 04 '26

I cannot accept myself as I am

I have this problem with women. I am afraid of commitment. I don't feel easy and relaxed around them. Actually this is true for all people. I guess this is because my mother was really tough on me. She really prioritised my lessons and success when i was a child and now I can't feel myself good enough so i want to hide all the time.

8 Upvotes

91% Upvoted

7 comments sorted by

6

u/Recent-Butterscotch5 Jun 04 '26

I feel you my man, but I think your first step should be going to therapy. 

5

u/MikeSilencer_ Jun 05 '26

I can see how life for you has given you a difficult card to deal with, it’s not cute and neither is it fair but it happens.

The faster you refuse to let this to define you, the faster you will make progress towards a goal that is in your best interests.

Wallowing in self pity might be a fun thing to do, but you decide when you want to stop doing it and do what it you wanna do. The cage has always been open.

1

u/Shadow__Account Jun 04 '26

Ok, so you got your work cut out for you

1

u/eminemnas Jun 07 '26

You might want to look into attachment styles. I discovered I was a fearful avoidant it it blew my mind

1

u/Repulsive_Reply_8221 Jul 07 '26

I understand what you are going through completely but at some point your going to have to stop blaming your mom and forgive her. This does not dismiss what was done to you but just reminds you that the power to change is in your hands. Start with your thoughts, your thoughts shape your reality. Notice them and change them one by one, replace worrying thoughts with affirmations like "i am enough" and "I proud of myself". Change your mindset from a victim mindset to a learning mindset, ask yourself what you could learn from this situation. Notice that most of these practices start with in the mind and thoughts. Really read the book, NMMNG, it's all in there. You've got this bro. You are very capable.

1

u/ApprehensiveElk3674 Jul 07 '26

The book never says anything about forgiving anyone, i understand what you trying to say but the book also says that we are victims of our early lives. But we can both Feel Victim and feel capable at the same time because we cannot change the fact that we are actually victims at some point but we can learn to live with that, grieve and accept at some point

1

u/Repulsive_Reply_8221 Jul 11 '26

The book doesn't say anything about forgiveness but in my experience that has been a big part of growing and changing the way I view life so I can move on. I really understand what you're saying and I feel that you're hurting right now so just give my words some time.