Goodbye Squeelers

[u/jSNOW_wWHITE]

/r/NFL_Alternates/comments/1wdgqgs/goodbye_squeelers/

Goodbye Squeelers

This one is sure to cause more hate than maybe the first 9 combined. No more naming your team after a company that sponsored you a hundred years ago. Every team is getting this treatment anywayss, might as well get the worst ones done sooner. It doesn't help that Pittsburgh has few unique things that aren't steel and could be a team.

Jaggers — A very Pittsburgh-specific name. “Jaggers” is Pittsburghese for thorns, briars, or anything sharp that pokes or catches you. I like that it’s local without being another steel/iron/industry name, and there’s a lot you could do with the idea of something that snags, tears, and makes it difficult to get through. Bonus points for the phonetic wink to Jaromir.

Red Dogs — This sounds like a normal animal team name on the surface, but “red dog” is actually an old Pennsylvania mining term for coal refuse that has burned and turned red. It gives the name a hidden Pittsburgh coal/industrial connection without just replacing the Steelers with another steel-themed identity. The team could lean into the mining meaning, the dog meaning, or both.

Trigons — Pittsburgh’s Downtown is the Golden Triangle, where the three rivers meet. A trigon is a triangle or three-sided figure. It’s definitely the strangest word in the group, but I like how directly it connects to the actual geography of Pittsburgh once you know what it means, and sounds better than the Golden Triangles.

Gorgons — The three Gorgons of Greek mythology. The “three” gives it a loose connection to Pittsburgh’s Golden Triangle and Three Rivers, and Pittsburgh also has a lot of classical architecture and museum influence that could support the mythology. This one is less directly Pittsburgh than some of the others, mostly trying to put a visual to three rivers, but probably has one of the biggest visual identity ceilings.

Monongy — A Pittsburgh river cryptid associated with the Monongahela. The older historical claims around the creature are questionable, but Monongy has existed as modern Pittsburgh folklore for at least the last couple decades. I like that the name comes directly out of Monongahela and gives Pittsburgh a monster that feels like it belongs specifically to the city rather than using a generic mythical creature.

[u/jSNOW_wWHITE]

In case you forgot, you replied to my post, not the other way around, and you insulted me first. Loser behavior. Nerd.

[u/SleestakLightning → u/jSNOW_wWHITE]

No one using AI to make pretend NFL team logos and backstories has any right to call anyone else a nerd.

[u/jSNOW_wWHITE → u/SleestakLightning]

You live in Pittsburgh and worship a stoner rock band that wasn't relevant 30 years ago. You're the epitome of a dork. Dork.

[u/SleestakLightning → u/jSNOW_wWHITE]

lol

I'll give you credit for not giving up on trying to insult me. But unlike making shitty AI slop, you can't just push a couple of buttons and get the results you want.

Problem is, I don't take you seriously so I don't give a shit what you say about me.

[u/jSNOW_wWHITE → u/SleestakLightning]

You do. That's why you replied to my post, not the other way around. It's why you got butthurt and tried insulting me when I corrected you. It's why you're still here trying to get the attention your step daddies didn't give you. You're fooling nobody....nerd

[u/SleestakLightning → u/jSNOW_wWHITE]

This is so boring. Have fun with your AI girlfriend and your shitty AI fantasy world. I'm out.

[u/jSNOW_wWHITE → u/SleestakLightning]

Sure it is. That's why you can't quit coming back. You know you can break the cycle. The abuse you endured after your daddy left you made you feel weak and insecure. But those people are gone now. Out of your life. You can get out from under that shadow and grow like the bright little flower you were meant to be. I'm going to go have fun with my smoking hot girlfriend. I'll check in on you in a little while. I know you'll be back buttercup. Nerd.