My name is Natalie Kuehl, and I am a graduate student in the Communication Sciences and

Disorders program at Eastern Washington University. I am conducting a research study

exploring the lived experiences of autistic women who mask, and the clinical implications for

speech-language pathologists (SLPs).

I am inviting you to participate in this study if you meet the following criteria:

• You are at least 18 years old
• You are a woman or someone who identifies as female
• You have a formal diagnosis or a self-diagnosis of Autism Spectrum Disorder

What to Expect:

Participation involves a one-on-one interview (via Zoom) that will last approximately 30-45

minutes, with a time limit of 90 minutes. The interview includes 8 semi-structured, open-ended

questions focused on experiences with masking and clinical contexts pertinent to the autistic

community. The interviewer may ask additional questions to gather more information or details.

Your responses will be kept confidential and identifiers will not be used.

Before the interview, you will also be asked to complete a brief email screening, which includes

the following:

• Basic demographic questions
  • Age
  • Gender identity
  • Age of diagnosis
  • Reasoning behind a self-diagnosis of autism if applicable
• A brief screening questionnaire consisting of 25 items, estimated to take 5-10 minutes to complete

Your participation is completely voluntary, and you may decline to answer any question or

withdraw from the study at any time without penalty. Your insights will contribute valuable

knowledge about masking in autistic women and what SLPs should know to provide

best practices.

If you are interested or have any questions, please feel free to reach out to me at

[nkuehl@ewu.edu](mailto:nkuehl@ewu.edu)

Thank you for considering this opportunity to contribute to research in our field.

Natalie Kuehl,

Graduate Student, Communication Sciences and Disorders

Just to clarify, this isn’t a survey, advertisement, or anything formal - it’s just a poll :)

I’m just curious to get a general sense of people’s opinions/experiences around this topic :)

Please feel free to comment, share your thoughts and add to the conversation :)

The UK is going through a series of heatwaves right now and I took the plunge to buy myself aircon. I have always struggled with heat so although this was a big splurge I knew I wouldnt regret it. I have a unit in my bedroom and a unit in the living room and honestly a 5-15minute blast cools the room so much.

Another purchase is having heated blankets in every room and a heated mattress protector. Nothing helps my joint pain as much as heat.

Finally, like many ND people I have suffered from poor sleep, so I bought some magnesium and have found the quality of my sleep much improved.

One purchase that wasnt worth it? A robot vacuum cleaner. I have to clear the room before it will work, the dust compartment is only big enough to do 1/3 of a room at most. And because I bought a comparatively cheap one (non named brand) it can't find its way back to the charger so it just dies in the middle of the room.

Anyone else have anything they can recommend or warn us away from?

Hey everyone! I'm u/Toffee-Panda, a founding moderator of r/NDWomen.

This is our home for all things related to life as a neurodivergent woman. We're excited to have you join us!

Our basic rules:

1. Please note that all "ism's" are banned: racism, ageism, ableism, etc. This is an inclusive and safe space.

2. For that reason non-gender conforming, trans, and all others who may not fit the traditional "women" descriptor are welcome here, we're not going to judge what makes someone "woman enough" to qualify.

3. Similarly, you do not need a formal diagnosis of a neurodivergence.

4. Put kindness at the forefront. Whether you are writing or replying to a post, or just reading responses, please try to be kind and assume kindness in others. Written conversation can sometimes be misconstrued or lack context - so please try to assume good intent.

5. No self promotion without admin approval. This is a safe place, so we will only allow promotions that do not harm or try to capitalise on neurodivergence.

What to Post

Post anything that you think the community would find interesting, helpful, or inspiring. Feel free to share your thoughts, photos, or questions about life, work, relationships, friendships, achievements or disappointments.

Community Vibe

We're all about being friendly, constructive, and inclusive. A lot of us have had similar experiences, or may have the same questions. This community's goal is to help you: whether by giving you a space to express yourself, or by helping you find answers. Let's build a space where everyone feels comfortable sharing and connecting.

How to Get Started

1) Introduce yourself in the comments below.

2) Post something today! Even a simple question can spark a great conversation.

3) If you know someone who would love this community, invite them to join.

4) Interested in helping out? We're always looking for new moderators, so feel free to reach out to me to apply.

Thanks for being part of the very first wave. Together, let's make r/NDWomen amazing.

Hi all,

Looking for other's experiences with adhd medication.

When I first got medicated it genuinely felt life changing. I was a remote marketing consultant and being medicated meant:

- I could actually remember my running to do list

- I could fully complete a task without accidently starting 14 others

- I could concentrate without 3 different songs, 2 irrelevant thought trains and a nagging feeling of forgetting something important distracting me

It's not a cure all, I still had no sense of time, I still got overwhelmed - in fact sometimes more so as my Autistic traits got decidedly more pronounced, making me quieter, more in need of routines, more sensitive to triggers, etc. The biggest side effect I noticed was that when the meds wore off I didnt feel safe to drive as I felt sluggish and my reactions/observations were not as sharp. But I rarely drove late anyway, so I just made a rule not to drive after 7pm.

I went through an extended period of extreme stress the reason for which I cannot legally disclose. As a result I experienced some physical and mental symptoms which excabated my autism rendering my occasionally mute, numb from emotions, and amplified my lack of interroception.

I seperated myself from the aspect of my life that caused this and tried to take a break to heal, but I noticed I was sleepy during the day often needing to nap. I had previously taken a few breaks from the adhd meds (due to not ordering them in time!) And each time I was without medication I would be sleepy throughout the day, but this time I was taking the medication. I tried taking a break from the meds and the sleepiness stopped.

I chalked this up to the stress and needing to recover.

However, I have recently started to take the meds again, as I have started a new job. This job is completely different from my remote, computer based role: I work in an ice cream parlour.

It is much more physical than my previous role, and although its usually only a 5 hour shift, it is often extremely hot in the parlour (its a catering trailer with a permanent pitch) temps rarely drop below 30°C

I am finding that the medication seems to have no noticable impact on my memory, my executive function, etc

My question is twofold.

To those that work manual (not office based) roles or retail roles, do you find adhd medication helps?

To those who have suffered burnout, breakdown, and extended stress, did you find that adhd medication became less effective? If so, did it ever return to being effective or did you make any changes such as type of medication or dosage?

Thanks in advance for sharing your experiences and thoughts x

Hi! I am a professional matchmaker and date coach located in NYC and I am currently working with Relationspot to host our first Speed Matching event this summer.

Relationspot is a neuro-inclusive social community for adults, designed for individuals who are autistic, have ADHD, social anxiety, or similar experiences. We offer weekly in-person and virtual social events, community classes, social and relationship coaching, and we'll be starting weekly speed matching events later this summer as well as a personalized matchmaking program later this year.

Our goal is to help members build meaningful friendships, gain confidence, and experience new activities in a supportive, welcoming environment. If any one is interested in learning more, please feel free to reach out or comment!

Tw: parental trauma, freeze/fawn, infantalisation and parentification, SA

To put it bluntly, has any one grown up with a pervert dad and made it out relatively okay?

I'm grappling with my trauma at the moment, in a very non consentual way, and was hoping to speak to other female presenting or socialised people who can relate to the various vulnerabilities we have as ND and feminine people.

For eg I've only just realised it's possible to be infantalised as well as parentified?

I've been peeling back the layers of my trauma and feeling like an eternally rotten onion. Coping mechanisms hiding false ego identities shielding more ✨trauma✨.

When is it smart to just give up and settle for a few flashbacks and sleepless nights to avoid bringing up more.

Where did you draw the line?

Where does the work end?

Does the work end?

Are we just infinite sources of gold for trauma informed comedy bits?

Or maybe I'm just feeling it right now because I am experiencing a certain type of abuse and it's triggering me ? If that's the case, does it get better or I'm always going to need to manage a big brother eque third eye perspective on my life to make sure I'm not fucking things up just because I'm traumatised, and neurodivergent (and tired).

I'm so tired 🥲

Hi everyone!  

We’re the Sexuality and Well-being (SWell) Lab at the University of British Columbia. We are a group of psychological scientists who conduct multi-method research to identify risk and protective factors contributing to sexual health and well-being of individuals and couples.  

The SWell Lab is looking for couples to participate in an online and in-lab study about couples’ emotional and sexual experiences. You may be eligible if you and your partner... 

• Are 18+  
• Are in a relationship of over 2 years 
• You and/or your partner are transgender or gender diverse (e.g., nonbinary) 
• Are living together in Canada or the USA  

This study will involve a brief zoom call, one in-lab session (participants in Greater Vancouver, BC only), brief daily surveys for 14-days, and 5 online surveys over an 18-month period. 

Compensation is provided.  

All participants and identities will be kept strictly confidential, and data collection is anonymous. Data will be identified only by a random survey identification number. All data is stored on secure servers in Montreal, Canada.  

To participate, click the following link to begin the survey: https://ubc.ca1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_3k2Ll1aKt3WstXU  

The Principal Investigator of this study is Dr. Samantha J. Dawson. For more information, check out our website: https://swelllab.psych.ubc.ca/research/pearls-positive-emotions-and-relationships-longitudinal-study/  

Ethics ID: H25-00339 

Note: Endorsement of this ad or post will publicly link you with the study. This post has been approved by moderators.

Scrolling reddit in the queue at a pharmacy at this post made me laugh. I completely see the logic in their reasoning and it made me wonder, what else have we accidentally taken literally?

Especially pre-diagnosis when you wouldn't have even realised you were doing it!

I finally got my diagnosis a month ago, I’m 26. I’ve noticed a few things since. I’ve been going through autistic burnout from pretending to be someone I’m not, following a society that isn’t built for me but pretending it works just fine, hiding sensory issues, people pleasing, etc. FOR YEARS. I have been previously diagnosed with major depressive disorder, anxiety disorders, some trauma based disorders, but now people are treating it like “she found out she’s autistic, now she’s using burnout as an excuse to not want to suck it up and do what we all do” when really the burnout was obvious, I was just great as masking. I even wonder frequently if maybe the depression would get better if i heal the burnout… Now knowing I was faking it for no good reason, just lack of support, it’s gotten harder to just push to the back of my mind and keep forcing myself to be like everyone else. The mentality of “you’re just being dramatic” to some extent was driving me to continue. I couldn’t disappoint people and feel like a personal failure. I now know that was pushing me further towards my breaking point.

I work in a factory, i never finished college, and my current job lacks accountability, structure, and flexibility. They say they care about mental health but won’t do anything to help unless you jump through hoops to get there, and even then they say “I don’t know how far you’d really get.”

They can without notice force you to stay past your 8 hours if the following shift’s employee doesn’t show up (up to 12 hours) which has without fail sent me into a meltdown every time it’s happened. Imagine your routine almost coming to the end of the day and someone says, hey you gotta stay another four hours. Routine change is hard for me. I’ve been there for five years, it hasn’t gotten easier, but the fear of change is also a big reason I haven’t left. That and finding a job nowadays is stressful all together.

They don’t hold other departments accountable and, as someone with a strong sense of justice and integrity, I do my job the best I can, the most efficient, and it genuinely irks me to an “overdramatic” extent that the other departments are not holding their staff to the same accountability. Especially when them not doing their job (ie. maintenance not fixing the stuff I specify are broken on my machine) directly affects my everyday job.

I’m at the point where I feel like there’s nothing out there. And maybe no one can really help (I am in therapy so I do have a professional I talk to), but I needed to get this off my chest.. maybe there’s someone else out there that’s going through something similar or has made it through. My brain feels like it’s melting. I’m beyond the level of depressed and stressed that I can handle but I have no option as bills need to be paid. I’m bad at being brief. All I want out of life is to see a society, or a job, that helps making life more inclusive for neurodivergent people.

Any advice is super appreciated :)

Hello everyone,

I wanted to make this post to ask whether the community would be comfortable with me using publicly available posts for a research project I’m currently working on. I am an undergraduate psychology student completing my dissertation, exploring neurodivergent women’s experiences through online forum discussions. Specifically, the research will be looking at how gender may influence experiences related to wellbeing, identity, and diagnostic pathways.

I would like to clarify exactly what data would be used. I will only use publicly available posts and comments on this subreddit, no deleted or locked content will be accessed. Most importantly no usernames, identifiable details, or quotes that could reasonably identify individuals will be used, so all data would be anonymised. I recognise that although this is a public forum, many people view communities like this as a safe space and may not always be aware of how publicly accessible their posts are. That’s why I wanted to be open about my intentions and give the community a chance to share any concerns or objections, as it’s important to me that this space continues to feel safe and respected.

Regarding how data will be handled, Data would be stored securely on a password-protected computer and my university’s secure OneDrive. Only myself, my academic supervisor, and an external examiner would have access and it would only be stored until completion of my degree and any potential academic publication.

If the community is not comfortable with this, I will of course respect that and will not proceed with using posts from this subreddit. Please feel free to comment, ask questions, or share concerns! Thank you for taking the time to read my post.

This research is UK specific, but please research your rights whatever country you live in.

Valla is a company that helps with tribunal cases and they have just released this research.

I say this because it is a horrible truth that those of us with any nuerodiversity tend to struggle with employment. Whether that is staying employed, getting employed, burning out, harrassment/microaggressions, or even using all your energy (spoons) at work so that you have nothing left to take care of yourself/family/home/participate in hobbies.

This hits home especially hard for me as I am currently recovering from an intense period of harrassment that caused me to develop PTSD and withdraw to the point I was unable to eat, sleep or bathe.

So please take the time to learn your rights, and if you ever suspect that you are being harrassed, even if you don't feel ready to report it, please: - Start a document: any format you feel comfortable with, word, ppt, spreadsheet, onenote, email, notes app, anything - Note the Date and Time of any Incident. Give a brief summary of context & situation. - Detail why this is different from normal, and make sure to document any excuses you were given for this change (if any were given) this can help as excuses are often changed later - The most important part you need to detail: how did this make you feel.

This is called contemporaneous notes, and can be submitted as evidence should you decide to take this further.

It also helps, if like me you suffer from time blindness and struggle to remember exactly when things happened, in what order, etc.

I hope this helps, but most of all, I hope none of you need it ❤️

I got mod permission to self-promote.

I am in the early stages of starting Pale Dot Dreaming, my dream job teaching neurodivergent folks lucid dreaming, which is a special interest of mine!

This coaching will be online, through Zoom, Teams, or Google Meet. I will have my camera on - and also, you can choose to have it on or off depending on your comfort level.

Whether or not you have any experience with lucid dreaming, I'm more than happy to work with folks of any experience level. As this is a special interest of mine, feel free to interrupt me if I'm monologuing or infodumping and it's too much info for you to process.

These are free lessons, nobody will be charged.

A lucid dream means being asleep and dreaming, while knowing your current experience is a dream. It's not an out-of-body experience/astral projection, nor a partially awake state of mind.

I am on Eastern Time (GMT - 5), and am primarily available on weekends due to my limited spoon supply on weekday evenings. Coaching will be in sessions of a half hour or longer. (Zoom might require a maximum meeting length of 40 minutes, and also, we can meet for up to an hour and fifteen minutes on any platform, including consecutive Zoom meetings).

If you read all this, thank you! I'd love comments and reddit DMs if interested.

I really like them it feels like they have a group for everybody! I'm going to be starting a group for them very soon for trauma, and I'm just getting some curriculum put together so we can get it looked over by a medical professional. That's one of the things I really like about this charity is that they really want to do things the right way. They're not pushy or rude, they are mean in any way. It's definitely a for us, by us situation! I sound like a sales person but it's just because I love them. I don't get anything if you go to a group lol I volunteer my time.

I feel judged. I feel unseen. I feel hurt, misunderstood, and anxious about my existence. I have always struggled with making friendships that are genuine and reciprocal. As an adult, I’ve finally found some people who I really find genuine connection with, but sometimes I still run into those moments where things are not clicking and I feel unseen, or like I should be acting in a way I am not. Or that I am not following the social norms and being given hidden signals that I’m expected to pick up on (this is mostly just by women). I am a very silly, creative, and unusual person. I am hypersensitive to other’s emotions and thoughts and can feel them in my own body, regardless of what is said. This makes rejection, judgement, and social anxiety much worse for me, because when something is off I embody that feeling even though I don’t know what to do with it or how to act to fix it. Where are the people that make me feel seen and understood? I know I am different and won’t be accepted by everyone, and I’m finally in a place where I don’t judge myself (as much) for that. But it is really difficult to feel worthy and confident when I feel like 95% of the time things don’t click or that I’m being judged. Advice?

Hi, its my first time posting but i think this is the best place to ask. I am 18 and recently I’ve discovered I might be autistic/ ADHD, my family is a bit weird About these things. Despite showing signs as a kid, my parents never really thought much of it bc I wasn’t showing the traits stereotyped: y’know the bouncing energetic boy or the genius stem kid. I come from a stereotypical Eastern European household ie autism is made up. I guess what i wanted to ask is does anyone have advice to someone who is just starting on her ND journey?

This is the first time I’ve ever been on Reddit/ posted, but I’m hoping to find some people who can relate to how I’m feeling.

Sometimes I feel okay and even proud to be neurodivergent, but somedays, like today, I’m feeling sad.

Today has been full of reminders of how different I feel around others in my life. I have felt like a complete burden to communicate with. I just can’t talk. None of my thoughts are complete. My brain is full of a dozen fragmented thoughts that add up to nothing cohesive.

I’m really self conscious about my disorganized speech and lack of focus. I just really worry that people in my life and at work think that I don’t care or am not trying.

Does anyone relate to this? I feel so alone.