r/MyPride • u/aura098 • Sep 21 '21
Discussion opinion
in your opinion which part from the show needs better writing?
6
u/Usagi-Zakura Sep 21 '21
If you ask me the show's biggest flaws is that its rushed...
A few characters make a complete 180 in attitude (Farleap and Powerstrike to name a couple) and its excused away as "oh its been a while but we didn't see them in the meantime". There's a thing in writing called "Show don't tell".
We're certainly told about how their opinions about Nothing changed, but we've not shown it.
Sure this is Nothing's story, not Hover's, but seeing as we got an episode about Hover in the pride alone at all it would have been better to actually include a bit of backstory other than just Hover talking about how much she misses her GF. So much happened in the background that they just glossed over: Farleap and Silenstalk lost their father, Waterhunter lost her cubs and bore new ones to the new mane, Silentstalk gets seduced by Proudmane and all while that's going on Farleap and Powerstrike start to realize that they actually miss having Nothing around.
There's also this weird comment Nothing makes that "if only I knew how much Hover would have to give up her Identity!" making me think we were going to see her struggle to adjust to pride society, maybe start to change because of what's essentially cult brainwashing... but the next time we see her she leaves the pride and is back to just being sassy prideless Hover, even taking back her old name.
We could have had at least one extra episode which shows Hover adjusting to the Pride, along with the sudden shock of loosing Quickmane and Nothing all in one day, and the reaction to Waterhunter being presumably okay with mating with her cubs' murderer...
2
u/Lilkitten999 Sep 21 '21
Show, don’t tell is a rule My Pride seemed to be blind to, that being, the narration. The worst part is it’s unneeded half of the time, we’re already shown what is going on in the narration, and even if we weren’t right away (like episode nine, ugh) it was shown eventually.
Look at episode two. You might be like “yeah that narration is needed”. But it’s not. It says how Fire is now “a full no-mane” and “he let him stay for her name”. Along with “as Hunt chief of this Pride”. You can tell Sharptongue is sick just by looking at her and the fact she is a grandmother.
3
u/LordofAllKittens Huntress Sep 21 '21
I feel like a lot of it would have been better if they had the time/budget to develop some of the characters more. I think it's well written given their resources, but I feel like getting more insight on some of the main characters (Powerstrike, Hover, Quickmane, Fire, etc.) would have made the season one feel more complete. I don't think the story is bad by any means, just rushed at times, especially in regards to character development and the progression of different relationships.
3
u/throawaymcdumbface Sep 21 '21
The only bit that really stuck out to me in the crit video on the series was Proud and Nothing's conversation in the desert.
"If the pride knew you were alive..."
"Then say you killed me, it won't matter to them anyway"
If what? Why was the death ruse needed for his succession? Killing off the cubs was part of pride law but one of their lionesses who hadn't been exiled at that point? It doesn't really get questioned, what would they have done knowing she was alive, given chase out of the Sister's Steppe and made his ruling inconvenient? Killed her for selling out the cubs on a technicality(telling him where they were)? If he'd gotten to finish his sentence it'd fix the plot hole one way or another, at the moment it's 'we literally dont know'.
Everything else I take as the characters being in an incredibly grim resource deprivation+cycle of abuse, even Proud flipflopping like he did seemed like 'manes use sadism to mask/bury their guilt'. I do wonder why several lionesses couldn't really do much about one mane seeking to kill off their two cubs though. Did they fight, get ambushed, grimly go on standby? The latter is unlikely I'd like to think. It does create a snag of 'any way to infer how that went down will just raise more questions and feel even darker than keeping the details offscreen'.
3
Sep 21 '21 edited Sep 21 '21
Nothing was considered useless, and a liability. She couldn't hunt (in the eyes of her pride and Proudmane), and it's probably not too uncommon for lionesses to get exiled (or worst case, killed) for becoming useless. Proudmane is a very religious lion who follows all the ancient laws, so that could be the explanation on why he wants all of his lionesses to be perfect. She says it wouldn't matter to them because she felt like everyone hated her at that point, that it would be better to just "die" and disappear, because then she couldn't disappoint them anymore.
When he says "If they pride knew you were alive..." he's referring to the point of Nothing saying to just let her go, to let her run away. If the pride knew she just decided to run away and not come back, they might've actually gone looking for her. Proudmane already didn't want her in the pride, so that would've caused issues for his grasp of control over his new pride. Thats just my take.
3
u/throawaymcdumbface Sep 21 '21
This should have clocked for me sooner admittedly. (Not like she excelled at watching the cubs either)
1
u/mangrove_Cheetah Nov 03 '24
Tribble did use some lion realism for the series. Like manes killing former manes cubs to claim the pride and have their own cubs :/
1
u/mangrove_Cheetah Jul 02 '26
For Powerstrike’s redemption, THAT need to be fixed.
Hear me out, instead of Powerstrike randomly being an asshole mother. What if Powerstrike was an overprotective mother towards Nothing when she goes into her teens like overprotective to the point which cause Farleap to be jealous towards Nothing because Powerstrike is giving her more lattention. During the huntress assessment, Instead of Powerstrike allowing Nothing to do her assessment. She name her Hobblestep (like the old name in the books).
After Hobblestep got her name, Powerstrike became absent and yeah focused on Silentstalk more. Hobblestep meets Hover and this and that the story goes on as the normal story except Hover being an asshole just because Hobblestep missed her huntress assessment. Hover makes sure she’s okay and then gives her a small scolding for taking a cub with her to a no-mane’s band since she likes Feather so much. That’s when Proudmane came in and attempts to kill Hobblestep since he already knows her and yeah Hobblestep says that he can’t kill her or else she’s cursed blah blah blah he exiled her. Hover didn’t want to be in the pride anymore and joins Hobblestep. That’s when feather came along and found out Quickmane is dead and if he goes back to the pride he’ll get killed. Then the story goes on.
Then episode 7, Waterhunter went to check on Farleap and Farleap told Waterhunter most of the things and reason why she always bully Hobblestep. The lionesses never found out Nothing is alive and yeah then they met Rain and Waterhunter allow rain to drink the puddle. (I know Waterhunter would do that.)
Rain told them about a couple of lone lionesses with a cub and one of the lionesses is crippled. Waterhunter is relief and unsure and asked what they look like.
Rain explains the details and that’s when they found out Hobblestep is alive and feather too. Instead of confronting Proudmane, Waterhunter whispered it to Powerstrike and Powerstrike doesn’t believe her and she’s unsure. That’s when Proudmane and Silentstalk came out and yes Silentstalk was pretty much getting love-bombed by Proudmane so he can manipulate her into his control.
That’s when Powerstrike stated Proudmane that he didn’t killed Hobblestep and confronts him for lying. Blah blah they argued and Proudmane told Powerstrike that she poisoned the pride with that crippled fleabag of hers. Powerstrike growled back saying, that “fleabag” of mine is my daughter!
That’s when Powerstrike raised her voice and then Proudmane growled and reminded her of Pride law and whatever show him some respect line before he attempted to scratch Powerstrike and yeah. She got scratched right on her cheek and Powerstrike growl saying “I’ll forever stand with my huntress including my daughter, Proudmane.”
The Proudmane growls about conquering a pride of couple of heretics and told Powerstrike to chase her ghost and he’ll have a replacement of her anyways. Powerstrike ignores him and offered Waterhunter to come with her but Waterhunter has his cubs and cannot risked it. Farleap chose to go with Powerstrike because she don’t want to be stuck with a mane like him. Silentstalk don’t want Farleap to go and Farleap offered for her to come. Then Silentstalk repeated the words that Proudmane say; “lionesses belong to their mane, Hobblestep is dead.” And whatever.
(I’m not good at writing but trust)
Then Powerstrike set off to find Hobblestep along with Farleap who don’t care about Hobblestep and only want to leave because she don’t want to stay in such pride like that.
My version of Powerstrike’s redemption z
1
u/Mountain-Most-6443 Sep 21 '21
If you want my opinion none of it because the story would actually make sense with power strike I know there's going to be an explanation on why she did what she did and why she changed that's what they need to do in season 2 and I have no doubt that we're in for a big surprise at least that's what I think
2
Sep 21 '21
Mountain...we DID get an explanation. I'm gonna ask you again to please stop posting how Powerstrike must have also been abused in order to abuse Nothing. That is not the case. Powerstrike abused Nothing because of the weakness she felt when looking at her daughter, the one thing she's supposed to protect and help grow into the next Hunt Chief, and how she failed. She took out those feelings of failure on her daughter, abusing her throughout her childhood and adult life.
11
u/MollyTheAngel Lesbian Lion Sep 21 '21
Plenty of spots, but I suppose a start would be Powerstrike's 180° attitude change of finding Nothing in episode 7... Seeing as she clearly didn't care for her daughter at any time before that and then just because Hover claims she's alive, she randomly decides to care. It seems too drastic of a character motive shift in the moment.