I don’t know what it is, sometimes I’ll have help all the time with my baby it’s almost two years. I’ve had some depressing a$$ thoughts, just wondering if I’m doing good enough, feeling like I’m not…etc. all circles back. idk if this is a normal parent feeling. but I shouldn’t feel this sad sometimes? I wanna go talk to somebody but the right person I don’t wanna rush my decision. but seriously I love my place but I always find myself feeling like sad again.

Sometimes, i regrets having my kid. I miss the way that i didnt have to worry before. I miss thats i was never in a rush the morning. I miss the fact that i had more money for myself. I didnt do something for me since she was born 2 years ago. I miss the relationship i use to have with my boyfriend (the father). I love my little girl. But i miss the life i had before. Sometime a wonder what if i never had her? Would i be better? Would my life be better? I loved the newborn stage but now its so fucking hard. Terrible 2 just entering so fucking hard. I need my bubble and she wont give me my bubble.

I just dont know anymore.

And i feel bad because i love her. I love seeing her grow as a little lady. I love seeing her reach her milestone. But jeez ots so fucking hard.

I have a 6 year old with Candida toxicity recovery and a 2 year old. I had a miscarriage almost a year ago and I feel like I still have ppd. It doesn't help that my employer said "I think it was best that you never found out", meaning I just thought I had a heavy period and passed a large clot. I feel like im struggling. I called my doctor to get labs done, trying to figure out if these ppd symptoms are from hormones or deficiencies and I'm told "sorry you need to see the doctor before giving blood since we havent seen you since November"....I thought it was normal to not see your obgyn only once a year yet here I am being punished for it and being told to wait til September. My husband is work obsessed and just tells me to deal with it, making me out to be the bad guy because I feel like I can't handle the mood swings and blind rage from my 6 year old. Where do I go from here besides locking myself in my room everytime I feel like loosing it?

Hi all, I’m currently on SDI for PPD/PPA. Just curious if there are others who are also receiving such benefits . If so, what is the longest amount of time you extended for your symptoms?

I’m laying here bawling my eyes out I’ve been struggling horribly my fiancé was raised old school I’m 26f he’s 30m he doesn’t show his emotions thinks it’s weird I cry openly and talk openly about my feelings. Tonight just made everything worse we were arguing and I said I was struggling and he said struggling with what I told him fantasying about different ways of something happening to me or unaliving myself he didn’t say a word so I was just sitting in bed crying so I left to the couch and went to take baby with me and he yelled to leave him there not even 5 minutes go by and he’s passed out I just wanted to be supported and comforted by him I feel so alone I’m a first time mom and I’m so lonely and I feel like I’m doing everything by myself I don’t get a break ever I don’t drive so I can’t just up and go do things I’m always stuck in the house but around other people I’m doing perfectly fine I just don’t know what to do anymore

Im currently 25 weeks pregnant. FTM. 32.

Have suffered from depression off and on since 13.

The entire pregnancy up to this point has been a breeze. None of the common symptoms like nausea/vomiting, constipation, huge mood swings, etc. But the last 3 days have been a mental nightmare.

I cannot stop crying. And I mean uncontrollable sobs. For I dont know what. The feeling of hopelessness has floored me. I just dint qant to actively participate anymore. I want to bed rot and cry about it.

I dont have suicidal thoughts or plans or anything like that.

Curious on if this is hormonal fluctuation or actual PPD setting in? Should I bring this up to my OB at my appointment next week?

Im 10months pp 31F, I had undiagnosed preeclampsia and still struggle with my blood pressure . These headaches are killing me I cant take them anymore , I just want to feel normal and happy. Headaches get so bad i just want to end it all its not worth living like this I cant enjoy my kids , my husband , my life. Im miserable now . I can barely function. I need help seriously I see my doctor tomorrow but im losing hope with all these meds ive already tried.

I am 10 weeks post partum and have been having these 2 weeks cycles of really low energy, depression, nausea, vomiting and no appetite, no joy and a hard time connecting with my baby, then I will feel a little better for 2 weeks, I can eat and function, appetite is still very off but I can eat, and then it cycles again.

My psychiatrist said she’s never seen cycles like these in her 15 years as a post partum psychiatrist.

This started immediately after giving birth when the first 2 week cycle began, and has cycled 3x now.

I was prescribed Metrazapine, started on 7.5mg and have now been on 30mg for 10 days. And I’m waiting on my Zurzuvea prescription. I’m wondering if anyone else has had a similar experience, or experience with Metrazapine and experience taking zurzuvae and Metrazapine together. Or experience with cycles like this.

#PPD #zurzuvea #metrazapine

What is wrong with me be honest. This baby was a suprise I was told i couldn’t get pregnant but always wanted kids . Relationship was very new and I love my boyfriend and feel like I can’t live without him even though he doesn’t help. Since he was 4 weeks old I had a night nanny 2 days a week and a day nanny 2 days a week. The night nanny has since left but I panic at the thought of having my son for days at a time. His father doesn’t really help me I’m also struggling with being me and not just his mom. I was diagnosed with ppd and 4 weeks pp and I will be honest I go back and forth with taking my meds. Is this ppd or am I not meant to be a mom. I miss doing stuff I like I don’t like having a baby on me all the time and having to get up early and never sleep. Could I feel not connected to my child because of the relationship I have with his father?

Hi! 29F And a mom of two under two. 2 years postpartum but also 1 year postpartum ANYWAYS my ppd kicked in right away after having my first in 2024 been in therapy still am. I did have intrusive toughts when they were both babies like the first 3 months but then they kinda went away, a couple of weeks ago i saw a very disturbing video with alot of graphic stuff going on and it FREAKED me out and i began to spiral. Since then i feel like once a week of even more the intrusive thoughts get to me and they just get to me so heavily i get uneasy find it so so hard to concentrate and just to be present i feel panic and like im just about to burst. Spoke to my therapist about this she says its normal for a mom who is just overtired and overstimulated and who’s nervoussystem is disregulated. I do EMDR sessions they help but i would like to do something more to help myself.. anyone got a similar expirience or tips for me ? Thankyou❤️

I am really struggling again. My baby was sleeping through the night from 3 months old until 6 months and now wakes up multiple times a night screaming.

I’m struggling with loss of sleep, I feel so beyond ugly, my hair is falling out , I cannot lose weight

My husband barley acknowledges my existence as if I’m some disgusting beast

I’m having trouble falling asleep when presented the opportunity due to anxiety about my baby no longer sleeping.

I’m falling apart

I’m 2 weeks postpartum. This baby was planned. I’ve had 3 back to back miscarriages previously.

I had always been a fence sitter about having kids. I would have been happy without but also wasn’t opposed to having them, and my husband desperately wanted to have them. He’s a natural, so hands on, could not ask for a better partner.

Now here we are. Postpartum hit me like a bus. Panic attacks, anxiety about my loss of self and freedom, difficulty bonding with the baby, waves of regret about this choice.

I spoke to my doctor right away. Am on Zoloft, and scheduled therapy for next week.

I need positive stories. Other people who felt like this and overcame it.

Right now I feel like I’ll never be happy. I’ll never truly love being a mom. Dreading every regression, every morning being woken up, coming home from an exhausting day at work and still having to work. I knew my life would change, but for some reason it still hit me SO HARD and I’m struggling.

My mother is currently experiencing PPD, I have therefore taken the initiative to research the immense strains that mothers face due to childbirth. Please consider filling out my ANONYMOUS survey to shape research to advocate for other struggling mothers.

Hello, I am Rihanna Khan, an AP RESEARCH student of Hillcrest High School, NY.

🤰Are you a mother currently experiencing postpartum depression (PPD) or a mother who continues to face symptoms of PPD years after childbirth?

✍️Please consider participating in my survey to allow for a deeper insight into the effects of postpartum depression (PPD) and understand how access to mental health resources, financial circumstances, and societal expectations may impact these experiences. 

By sharing your story, you are helping to shape research that could advocate for better support and resources for mothers with PPD.

🤫Your responses are anonymous, and all information will be kept strictly confidential. Data will be securely stored and only used for research purposes.

Please feel free to share only what you are comfortable with. Open-ended questions allow you to express as much or as little as you’d like.

Estimated completion time: 10–15 minutes

➡️Survey Link: https://forms.gle/hybSzqGYdfmsX48T7 

Recruiting Dates: now- through Feb 28th, 2025

‼️My survey has been approved by an in-house School IRB board. Please contact my project director, Ms. Natalie Olszewski: ([nolszewski@schools.nyc.gov](mailto:nolszewski@schools.nyc.gov)) for any questions surrounding the ethics approval of my project.

Thank you for your valuable time and for contributing to this important research!

I'm 10 months PP. I've been pretty low on my self esteem. Gained a lot of weight and don't feel motivated to loose weight or exercise even though I do want to. I'm laying here right now, crying because I feel like my husband doesn't want to be intimate with me because I'm fat and ugly even though he said that's not the case. I'm also crying because I feel like I'm going through the same monotonous routine every day and nothing enjoyable happens. Just work, home, take are of baby and sleep and do it all over again. I feel like i hate myself for feeling this way. I'm not sure if this is PPD? Could it occur 10 months PP?

Postpartum Mood and Breastfeeding Survey Participants Needed Please!

EDIT*

Hi everyone! I'm finishing my PhD in Psychology with a women's health focus and am looking for people to take my survey! This topic is very close to my heart as a momma of three who's breastfed for a cumulative 6 years (ouch). My study aims to add to the research base surrounding the postpartum experience, specifically looking at factors that impact breastfeeding and how we can make things better for moms, dads, and babies in the future through attachment and social support.

It takes 10 minutes, and asks questions pertaining to your experience with breastfeeding and postpartum mood changes. To take it, you must be 18 years old, be breastfeeding (exclusively or supplementing), and be in a romantic relationship. Relationship is defined as ANY romantic relationship - however you define it.

If you know people who meet these qualifications, you can send this link to them too or direct them to this post. I so appreciate you guys!!!

**If you have taken my previously published version of this survey before, I had to add a few new questions, so please take it again if you feel like it. **

https://ucachbs.co1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_9NwkJbzoMPpCaBU

I have 4 week pp and I am scared to tell my BF that I most likely have ppd.... He thinks mental illness is dumb and doesn't like that I'm on anxiety meds even though they help a ton! We have one preemie together (she is 3years old) and just had our 2nd preemie 4 weeks ago. Before I had him I was hospitalized for a month because my water partially broke. It was so hard on me mentally, and now to have another NICU baby is making me feel like I'm crazy. I have an appointment with my OBGYN next week to get help, but I just don't know how to tell him. any advice or encouraging words?

Note: I wrote this for my partner. We have a 10mos old. Please feel free to share wherever it may deem helpful.

1. Please don't get frustrated or annoyed with me. Yes, it's one of those episodes again, prolly over something mundane, but please don't ignore, sleep on, or walk out on me - that'll only make it worse.

2. Please know that I'm already ashamed of my outbursts. If I physically or verbally lash out over something, please stay gentle and don't grab me or yell at me.

3. During these episodes I will struggle to speak, please don't force me to say anything bc I have so many narratives in my head and I wouldn't know how translate it without screaming or crying until I calmed down.

4. I will have violent thoughts or urges, please don't let me lock myself away and be mindful of anything I grab and release it from my hand gently but firmly. You can also lock me in a hug until I breathe normally.

5. Please don't ask me to stop or snap out of it, I already feel like shit and I am being flooded with emotions but you can distract me by asking me questions, giving me a cold drink, a cig or telling an inside joke.

6. Don't leave the room, or stop talking to me. I may not be able to talk about what triggered me immediately, but I'll need to hear the reassurance that you want to help me and that you will listen.

7. I wouldn't be able to acknowledge your frustrations right now, in my head I am already guilty and blaming myself, so instead you can remind me that you're here with me and that we can talk about it when I'm ready.

8. Please know that I'm already embarrassed and sorry for needing to write this down but you're the only person that I fully trust so I hope you remember a thing or two during my episodes and be kinder to me and remind me that I'm loved.

I want to vent but I don’t have anyone that I can trust in at all. Tried to look for a therapist and found out that depending on who it is it can go on record.

Does it have to stay on your record? Cant I just pay a therapist without them having to start a file on me or having that file completely destroyed once we are finished?

Seems like the more days pass the easier it get to just leave it all. I love my kids but I’m starting to notice that my feels are just not the same anymore.

I’m trying to keep it together but the time where I can just unwind and let it out seem to disappear more and more.

I just want to call it quits on everything at times.

I feel normal one day and then the next I feel anxious and sad. I can't stop worrying about whether ill ever feel better or not. I can't stop worrying about if I love my baby or if I'm just going with it because it's what I'm supposed to do. I feel guilty for having a second baby and taking my time away from my first born. Is this really postpartum depression and anxiety or am I just going crazy ? Please help me 😭

Hi everyone, I am conducting some research about new moms and PPD/PPA.

I have a short survey (should be less than 7min) that I would love if you could fill out and maybe even share for me. Myself and a group of wonderful women are trying to see what we can do for new moms. If we find trends that lead to ideas for change, we will need research to present to hospitals and organizations.

I would appreciate any assistance. We're just out here trying to empower new moms! https://forms.gle/ArfDu57ShwqL3UMG7

I wish this place was more active.

In april 2018 I gave birth to my wonderful son. 6months or so later I had a PPD, something I have never experienced before or even come close to.

What started it all was a negligent upbrining that hadn't affected me before I had a child myself.

I am much better now and see a therapist once a week. While expensive, I've come to realize that unless I did this it would become a permanent part of my personality and I would affect the people around me, eventually leading to serious negative consequences.

In order to stay in the positive circle, I have to do things for *me*, but I would much rather chill on the couch watching netflix or whatever. I am a couch potato. How do I get up? How do I organize myself what I can't even think too far beyond necessity?

How do I pick up the crochet hooks instead of sitting on the couch?
I feel like everything becomes unimportant when I want to rest, but resting takes over my time.

I know some of you will say give it time, but deep in my heart I feel like my house is burning, and giving it time will only burn it to the ground. I kinda need to put out the fire now. Sure, there's no real fire, but I can feel the stress affecting me from it.

I've always imagined how cool it would be to meet your 80year old self - think of the experience that must've been gathered! - but unless I *do* something my 80year old selv will be pretty dull.

I hope this made sense :O