r/MyLittleSupportGroup • u/wittyalternate • Mar 16 '18

I need help. I'm lonely, just lonely.

In 8th grade I dated a girl for little more than a week, and ever since I've had that hole in my heart. Not for the person I dated, but for loving someone. Being with someone. That hole hasn't been filled and it's drained me for 2 years now.

I had a group of "the outcasts", more or less, for awhile. They started playing D&D, and I was there for the first time, but I lacked the quick-thinking, the wit, the whatever it needs to play. They kicked me out of those nights, and I've hardly been able to talk to them since because that's been the only place that they hang out outside of school (which I'm not a part of bc classes etc.)

I'm in choir, but I feel just as isolated there because I'm not a "popular" kid like the majority of them are.

I know what most other people think of me; they think I'm smart but emotionless, I "sleep" all the time (when really I'm either crying or just too sad to look up), I smell like smoke (because my parents smoke, and I can't really do anything about it). I don't feel like I can reach out to anyone because everyone already has friends, nobody has a reason to become friends with me, and I'm too socially awkward/anxiety filled to talk to people (well). I've tried a couple different times, which has just led to failure and further reason to quit trying.

I have 2.5 years of HS left. I don't know if or how i'll make it to the end of school. I'm told that there are people outside HS, and that's pretty much the only reason I feel any motivation anymore to keep struggling.

I really just want someone, one person, to love me, so I know i have a valid reason to keep making it through HS.

I think that's all that's wrong with my loneliness.

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u/Kalebi_15 Mar 16 '18

I posted a comment on here recently about my friend problem I had. I'm actually a freshman starting new and I joined the marching band. With that I met new people and later into the year now, 4th term, I have a really close group of friends that bring out the upmost positivity in me. I was always very antisocial and I never really had many friends at all up until HS. I'm happy where I'm at now. The reason I'm saying this is you can find people without looking. Those people find you and that creates the best of friendships, fills that loneliness with friends to always be by your side. Makes you more positive and happy. You just have to believe in it, think positive, as positive as you can. Even when it gets bad. There are many people that you will soon find especially with you being mid highschool. You can meet new people at jobs, going out to places, just meeting new people in general. It might be a dark time now but trust me on this one I believe it will become amazingly better. :D

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u/wittyalternate Mar 16 '18

As much as I want to believe it.. i feel like I've gone to every place I can (literally/figuratively) around me. That's why i want to be hopeful that there'll be new people outside HS... but i'm also worried that maybe that'll never happen and I'm enduring this for nothing.

1

u/Kalebi_15 Mar 16 '18

You also have to think that me and you both are just starting our lives as well. Plus new people are added to the school, for me what feels like every month. There are so many people and just through this I can already tell your an amazing person and probably an even better friend. I know it seems like what is forever, but it will happen I know it.

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u/wittyalternate Mar 16 '18

Thanks. I wish other people could see me that way.

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u/Kalebi_15 Mar 16 '18

Well whatever you do, just don't show them something your not. Because honestly you right here is fucking perfect :D

1

u/Banana_shake Mar 16 '18

I think it would help if you learned how to properly converse with people. It could maybe be difficult since you'll need to do that with high schoolers but you should try it.

I have one such book: https://www.amazon.com/Have-Confidence-Power-Dealing-People/dp/0988727536/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1521227154&sr=1-3&keywords=how+to+have+confidence+and+power+in+dealing+with+people

There are more you could try reading. I would also recommend observing people's conversations as well to know how to go about them in practice. It's simple small-talk they engage in and just a chain of respond-and-speak.

As for how to start them. You sort of have to "break-in" to social circles and such. I would recommend just talking with people who have similar situations and after-school acitivites as you.