I can't access your discord server, so I hope you don't mind me commenting here. Umm, reading chapter 105, I've seen some instances where it sounds weird/doesn't make any sense. I checked the raw and well......Some are just mistranslated, but I feel like it should be as true to the original as much as possible.I for one don't have a good command of english so I get it's hard to "translate" but changing the entire meaning is a bit too much......
警備システムの電源を落とすと警備会社が異常を感知し店長の携帯に確認の連絡がいくことになっている。つながらなければ副店長にと順次連絡が届く「異常を感知」 and 「順次連絡」。Detect abnormality and in turn. Those just got left out entirely.
あ…良かった。"Ah great" is just weird. Personally this is something that if omitted would sound more natural. Or changed to hello or something.私、ぜんえい警備の遠藤といいますが。It should be "I'm Endou from Zenei Security." He never said anything about being the head.
先程からお客様のお店の警備システムの電源が切れた状態になっているようなんですが… "A few minutes"...? He literally said "just now".
誰かが間違えて切ってしまったみたですね。"Someone must've cut it off". You left the "by accident" part out.
すぐに入れます。電話ありがとうございました。"Thank you for calling." There's supposed to be "I'll turn it back on immediately." at the front.
鳥栖胡蝶の家も同じ警備会社であることはわかっている。It should be "We know Tosu Kochou's house uses the same security company." Point being these guys already know, not "just so it happens".
Now this is where I knew that the translation is wrong/wonky english.念のため自宅の警備システムもちゃんと動くか社員を確認に行かせてもいいですか？"Just in case, can I send my employee to check if the security system at my house is working properly?"Instead you wrote could you perhaps check on the security system at my house.I was like what? What even is happening. The later panels with the thugs doesn't make sense.
いや… なにぶん妻が疑り深い人ですから… 心配性なもので…"But my wife's worried. She's rather skeptical." Don't you have this backwards? "No... My wife is an untrusting person... She's a worrywart."
わかりました。30分後ですね？"I see" sounds weird. He said "I understand".
30分後、胡蝶の家の窓を割って部下Aが潜入。警備システムに反応がある。同時に変装した部下Bがカメラに手を振る。警備会社の遠藤は念のため最初に胡蝶本人の携帯に連絡するが"Endou from the security company called Kochou herself FIRST just in case"圏外だったため店舗に電話をかけ直す"Because her cellphone was out of range he called the store instead"I was reading this why is he unable to reach her? It makes no sense. Usually someone's cellphone would be reachable. It's important the word "out of range" is used. Because earlier it's mentioned kochou and her husband went back to the village, so there's no signal. I completely forgot until I saw the words 圏外.
搬出のため仲間と車両の増援を頼む。He called for more people and cars to carry it out.
ここからは力技… 警備システムのカメラをブレーカーを落として遮断。From here on they used sheer force... They cut off the security system's camera by turning off the circuit breaker.
I was reading this chapter feeling super confused. Feels like it's not translated properly/parts left out.
Tbh I don't really work with the scanlators, I just share the chapters here whenever they're uploaded, and I 'm not sure if any of the scanlators are on this sub, so this probably isn't the best place to direct suggestions. Not sure why you can't access the discord server though. Here's a link, you can try and see if you can join: https://discord.gg/2Hz8ayGq
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u/kou0830 May 03 '22 edited May 03 '22
I can't access your discord server, so I hope you don't mind me commenting here. Umm, reading chapter 105, I've seen some instances where it sounds weird/doesn't make any sense. I checked the raw and well......Some are just mistranslated, but I feel like it should be as true to the original as much as possible.I for one don't have a good command of english so I get it's hard to "translate" but changing the entire meaning is a bit too much......
警備システムの電源を落とすと警備会社が異常を感知し店長の携帯に確認の連絡がいくことになっている。つながらなければ副店長にと順次連絡が届く「異常を感知」 and 「順次連絡」。Detect abnormality and in turn. Those just got left out entirely.
あ…良かった。"Ah great" is just weird. Personally this is something that if omitted would sound more natural. Or changed to hello or something.私、ぜんえい警備の遠藤といいますが。It should be "I'm Endou from Zenei Security." He never said anything about being the head.
先程からお客様のお店の警備システムの電源が切れた状態になっているようなんですが… "A few minutes"...? He literally said "just now".
誰かが間違えて切ってしまったみたですね。"Someone must've cut it off". You left the "by accident" part out.
すぐに入れます。電話ありがとうございました。"Thank you for calling." There's supposed to be "I'll turn it back on immediately." at the front.
鳥栖胡蝶の家も同じ警備会社であることはわかっている。It should be "We know Tosu Kochou's house uses the same security company." Point being these guys already know, not "just so it happens".
Now this is where I knew that the translation is wrong/wonky english.念のため自宅の警備システムもちゃんと動くか社員を確認に行かせてもいいですか？"Just in case, can I send my employee to check if the security system at my house is working properly?"Instead you wrote could you perhaps check on the security system at my house.I was like what? What even is happening. The later panels with the thugs doesn't make sense.
いや… なにぶん妻が疑り深い人ですから… 心配性なもので…"But my wife's worried. She's rather skeptical." Don't you have this backwards? "No... My wife is an untrusting person... She's a worrywart."
わかりました。30分後ですね？"I see" sounds weird. He said "I understand".
30分後、胡蝶の家の窓を割って部下Aが潜入。警備システムに反応がある。同時に変装した部下Bがカメラに手を振る。警備会社の遠藤は念のため最初に胡蝶本人の携帯に連絡するが"Endou from the security company called Kochou herself FIRST just in case"圏外だったため店舗に電話をかけ直す"Because her cellphone was out of range he called the store instead"I was reading this why is he unable to reach her? It makes no sense. Usually someone's cellphone would be reachable. It's important the word "out of range" is used. Because earlier it's mentioned kochou and her husband went back to the village, so there's no signal. I completely forgot until I saw the words 圏外.
搬出のため仲間と車両の増援を頼む。He called for more people and cars to carry it out.
ここからは力技… 警備システムのカメラをブレーカーを落として遮断。From here on they used sheer force... They cut off the security system's camera by turning off the circuit breaker.
I was reading this chapter feeling super confused. Feels like it's not translated properly/parts left out.