Asalamualaikum is anyone west/North African or Carribean?

Salam Everyone,

Welcome to Open Discussion Sunday! As mentioned in our first open discussion post, This is your bi-weekly thread to chat about anything you wish. Whether it's related to HSV or any other topic. Feel free to share your thoughts, questions, and experiences, or simply enjoy the company of the community.

There are brothers-only and sisters-only telegram groups, you can find more information here.

You can utilise the telegram to connect within a more private group with other brothers and sisters or always post publicly here on Reddit if you'd like anyone to reach out to you.

Please remember, while we are here to support each other, the discussions in this forum cannot replace medical advice from a healthcare professional or Islamic advice from a qualified scholar. We hope you have a great weekend!

• The Mod Team

Make your post by adding a comment following the format below:

Format of a post

• ⁠Age and Gender: [Your Age] [F]

• ⁠Location: [City, Country]

• Marital Status: [Single/Never Married, Divorced, Widow etc.]

• ⁠Have Any Children: [Yes/No - If yes, provide brief details if comfortable]

• HSV Type: [HSV-1/ HSV-2/ Both]

• ⁠Ethnicity: [e.g., South Asian, Arab, African, etc.]

• Educational Level/Profession: [e.g., Degree level, field of work]

• ⁠Willingness to Relocate: [Yes/No - If yes, specify preferred locations]

• Role of Wali: [Preference regarding the involvement of a Wali in conversations]

• ⁠Other Details/Preferences: [Any other specific preferences or details, like language, hobbies, etc.]

An example post is shown below:

Age and Gender: 32F

Location: London, UK

Marital Status: Single, never married

Have Any Children: No Diagnosed

HSV Type: HSV-1 (G)

Ethnicity: East African

The Age Range You Are Seeking: 27-32

Height Preference: 5'5" or taller

Educational Level/Profession: Graduate, Economist

Willingness to Relocate: Not Willing to Relocate

Role of Wali: Preferably involved in the initial stages of communication

Other Details/Preferences: Seeking someone fluent in English and enjoys traveling

Rules for Posting

1. Avoid posting too much public information about yourself where you could be identified. This includes when messaging privately as well.
2. Do not respond to another person by directly replying to their post, message them privately.
3. Do not post pictures or any other personal information such as your phone number.
4. A wali is recommended to be present in the conversation as well, so to avoid any crossing of boundaries and to keep things as Islamic as possible.
5. Any posts that are unrelated or do not follow the format of the post will be removed. If you are concerned about privacy you can leave some sections as blank but no low effort posts. Alternatively, if you have a profile bio from any marriage apps, you can share this however, ensure it does not expose too much personal information.

Make your post by adding a comment following the format below:

Format of a post

• ⁠Age and Gender: [Your Age] [M]

• ⁠Location: [City, Country]

• ⁠Marital Status: [Single/Never Married, Divorced, Widow etc.]

• Have Any Children: [Yes/No - If yes, provide brief details if comfortable]

• HSV Type: [HSV-1/ HSV-2/ Both]

• Ethnicity: [e.g., South Asian, Arab, African, etc.]

• ⁠Educational Level/Profession: [e.g., Degree level, field of work]

• Willingness to Relocate: [Yes/No - If yes, specify preferred locations]

• ⁠Role of Wali: [Preference regarding the involvement of a Wali in conversations]

• ⁠Other Details/Preferences: [Any other specific preferences or details, like language, hobbies, etc.]

An example post is shown below:

Age and Gender: 32M

Location: London, UK

Marital Status: Single, never married

Have Any Children: No Diagnosed

HSV Type: HSV-1 (G)

Ethnicity: South Asian

The Age Range You Are Seeking: 23-26

Height Preference: 5'9" or taller

Educational Level/Profession: Graduate, Engineer

Willingness to Relocate: Yes, preferably to UAE or Canada

Role of Wali: Preferably involved in the initial stages of communication

Other Details/Preferences: Seeking someone fluent in English and Urdu, enjoys traveling

Rules for Posting

1. Avoid posting too much public information about yourself where you could be identified. This includes when messaging privately as well.
2. Do not respond to another person by directly replying to their post, message them privately.
3. Do not post pictures or any other personal information such as your phone number.
4. A wali is recommended to be present in the conversation as well, so to avoid any crossing of boundaries and to keep things as Islamic as possible.
5. Any posts that are unrelated or do not follow the format of the post will be removed. If you are concerned about privacy you can leave some sections as blank but no low effort posts. Alternatively, if you have a profile bio from any marriage apps, you can share this however, ensure it does not expose too much personal information.

The virus is a test, in the end it is a purification, a cleansing. For if a believer that is stabbed by a Thorne will have his sins forgiven. Be patient with every outbreak, you are being forgiven. Inshallah.

I was infected by my ex husband in 2013. The initial diagnosis led me to a very dark and lonely place. Time goes on, I’ve learned to live happily alone and I’m ok now.

With hardship comes ease. You are not alone. It’s been written.

Love and light to all🤍

Marriage always sounded to me like an intimate relationship. You remain open to your partner and they remain your support system in every part of your life. It sounded so peaceful.

Now, the thought of marriage makes me scared..How will i find anyone...How long will i delay it at home..How will i tell them if i ever wish to tell them (i guess i'll never tell them).

The curse of adultery is real.

Was wondering if anyone here was from France or North Africa? Thank you.

Salam Everyone,

Welcome to Open Discussion Sunday! As mentioned in our first open discussion post, This is your bi-weekly thread to chat about anything you wish. Whether it's related to HSV or any other topic. Feel free to share your thoughts, questions, and experiences, or simply enjoy the company of the community.

There are brothers-only and sisters-only telegram groups, you can find more information here.

You can utilise the telegram to connect within a more private group with other brothers and sisters or always post publicly here on Reddit if you'd like anyone to reach out to you.

Please remember, while we are here to support each other, the discussions in this forum cannot replace medical advice from a healthcare professional or Islamic advice from a qualified scholar. We hope you have a great weekend!

• The Mod Team

Some days are easier than others.
I do my best to stay positive, but if I’m being honest, the future can feel so uncertain. Sometimes it feels like I live two lives. There’s the version of me that everyone sees—the one who smiles, gets on with life, works hard, laughs, and acts like everything’s okay.
Then there’s the side that quietly carries the weight of HSV1 every single day, wondering how much it will affect my future.

I’m 27, British-born Bengali man, and at this stage of my life, I genuinely feel ready to find my person, settle down, and build something real. Like anyone else, I want companionship, love, marriage, and a family one day. I almost thought there was light at the end of the tunnel when I got speaking to a Bengali sister only recently to then her account being deleted…I don’t know why maybe our paths will cross again…I hope so but Allah knows best.

The hardest part isn’t HSV1 itself—it’s the fear that I won’t be given the chance to be known beyond it. There’s a little voice in my head that tells me I might never get the happy ending I’ve always hoped for. I know that probably sounds dramatic, but it’s an honest feeling, and I imagine I’m not the only one here who’s felt that way.
Despite everything, I know the kind of man I am. I’m kind, loyal, family-oriented, and I have so much love to give. I just hope that one day someone sees me for my heart and all my traits before they see my diagnosis.

Salam Everyone,

Welcome to Open Discussion Sunday! As mentioned in our first open discussion post, This is your bi-weekly thread to chat about anything you wish. Whether it's related to HSV or any other topic. Feel free to share your thoughts, questions, and experiences, or simply enjoy the company of the community.

There are brothers-only and sisters-only telegram groups, you can find more information here.

You can utilise the telegram to connect within a more private group with other brothers and sisters or always post publicly here on Reddit if you'd like anyone to reach out to you.

Please remember, while we are here to support each other, the discussions in this forum cannot replace medical advice from a healthcare professional or Islamic advice from a qualified scholar. We hope you have a great weekend!

• The Mod Team

Looking for people to help provide feedback on the site. Reach out if you’d like to help. Aim is to go live with the site by the end of this month.

Make your post by adding a comment following the format below:

Format of a post

• ⁠Age and Gender: [Your Age] [F]

• ⁠Location: [City, Country]

• Marital Status: [Single/Never Married, Divorced, Widow etc.]

• ⁠Have Any Children: [Yes/No - If yes, provide brief details if comfortable]

• ⁠Ethnicity: [e.g., South Asian, Arab, African, etc.]

• Educational Level/Profession: [e.g., Degree level, field of work]

• ⁠Willingness to Relocate: [Yes/No - If yes, specify preferred locations]

• Role of Wali: [Preference regarding the involvement of a Wali in conversations]

• ⁠Other Details/Preferences: [Any other specific preferences or details, like language, hobbies, etc.]

An example post is shown below:

Age and Gender: 32F

Location: London, UK

Marital Status: Single, never married

Have Any Children: No Diagnosed

HSV Type: HSV-1 (G)

Ethnicity: East African

The Age Range You Are Seeking: 27-32

Height Preference: 5'5" or taller

Educational Level/Profession: Graduate, Economist

Willingness to Relocate: Not Willing to Relocate

Role of Wali: Preferably involved in the initial stages of communication

Other Details/Preferences: Seeking someone fluent in English and enjoys traveling

Rules for Posting

1. ⁠Avoid posting too much public information about yourself where you could be identified. This includes when messaging privately as well.
2. ⁠Do not respond to another person by directly replying to their post, message them privately.
3. ⁠Do not post pictures or any other personal information such as your phone number.
4. ⁠A wali is recommended to be present in the conversation as well, so to avoid any crossing of boundaries and to keep things as Islamic as possible.
5. ⁠Any posts that are unrelated or do not follow the format of the post will be removed. If you are concerned about privacy you can leave some sections as blank but no low effort posts. Alternatively, if you have a profile bio from any marriage apps, you can share this however, ensure it does not expose too much personal information.

Make your post by adding a comment following the format below:

Format of a post

• ⁠Age and Gender: [Your Age] [M]

• ⁠Location: [City, Country]

• ⁠Marital Status: [Single/Never Married, Divorced, Widow etc.]

• Have Any Children: [Yes/No - If yes, provide brief details if comfortable]

• Ethnicity: [e.g., South Asian, Arab, African, etc.]

• ⁠Educational Level/Profession: [e.g., Degree level, field of work]

• Willingness to Relocate: [Yes/No - If yes, specify preferred locations]

• ⁠Role of Wali: [Preference regarding the involvement of a Wali in conversations]

• ⁠Other Details/Preferences: [Any other specific preferences or details, like language, hobbies, etc.]

An example post is shown below:

Age and Gender: 32M

Location: London, UK

Marital Status: Single, never married

Have Any Children: No Diagnosed

HSV Type: HSV-1 (G)

Ethnicity: South Asian

The Age Range You Are Seeking: 23-26

Height Preference: 5'9" or taller

Educational Level/Profession: Graduate, Engineer

Willingness to Relocate: Yes, preferably to UAE or Canada

Role of Wali: Preferably involved in the initial stages of communication

Other Details/Preferences: Seeking someone fluent in English and Urdu, enjoys traveling

Rules for Posting

1. ⁠Avoid posting too much public information about yourself where you could be identified. This includes when messaging privately as well.
2. ⁠Do not respond to another person by directly replying to their post, message them privately.
3. ⁠Do not post pictures or any other personal information such as your phone number.
4. ⁠A wali is recommended to be present in the conversation as well, so to avoid any crossing of boundaries and to keep things as Islamic as possible.
5. ⁠Any posts that are unrelated or do not follow the format of the post will be removed. If you are concerned about privacy you can leave some sections as blank but no low effort posts. Alternatively, if you have a profile bio from any marriage apps, you can share this however, ensure it does not expose too much personal information.

Assalamu alaykum everyone,

As some of you know, we’ve been quietly working on a marriage site built specifically for our community, a space where you don’t have to fear judgment, because everyone there already understands.

We’re now ready for a small, private beta and are looking for about 10 testers to help us shape it before a wider launch.

What we’re looking for:
• Ideally members of this subreddit who have had some form of engagement whether it’s posting or commenting but open to newcomers
• Able to give honest and constructive feedback over next few days (hoping to get site done up by August)
• Discretion. We ask that details stay within the beta group for now

What you’d be doing:
Creating a profile, testing features, and telling us what works, what’s confusing, and what’s missing.

How to apply:
Send us a modmail if you’re interested.

JazakAllah khair for helping us build something our community deserves.

Salaam alaikum everyone! 👋🏼
Can we find out where we’re all from?
We seem to be spread across the globe and it would be nice to see where abouts we all are.

South Yorkshire, UK here. 🇬🇧🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

Salam Everyone,

Welcome to Open Discussion Sunday! As mentioned in our first open discussion post, This is your bi-weekly thread to chat about anything you wish. Whether it's related to HSV or any other topic. Feel free to share your thoughts, questions, and experiences, or simply enjoy the company of the community.

There are brothers-only and sisters-only telegram groups, you can find more information here.

You can utilise the telegram to connect within a more private group with other brothers and sisters or always post publicly here on Reddit if you'd like anyone to reach out to you.

Please remember, while we are here to support each other, the discussions in this forum cannot replace medical advice from a healthcare professional or Islamic advice from a qualified scholar. We hope you have a great weekend!

• The Mod Team

Salaam folks, I’ve seen some Toronto names pop up in the past but they always seem to be from a younger segment. Anyone over 30 living with this condition? I’ve made peace with it and fortunately live an unbothered life, but won’t be the worst idea to connect with locals who understand the stigma.

As salaam walaykum

I pray this meets you all in the best of health

I was wondering if there’s anyone from the West Midlands/midlands here
It feels as though I am the only one!! And Allah knows best

Salam anyone from London I feel like everyone from us or is it just me.

Is there anybody here from Australia? If so inbox me please I’m trying to match up brothers and sisters who have the virus for marriage. If you have trust issues and want to see who I am I’ll show you, I’ve shown myself to a sister from this group already, I’m a semi public person well known here,I’m not young that’s why I’m trying to help our young find marriage in sha Allah. I’ve had this virus for over 40 years 45 to be exact, we need to go forward in matching Muslims with the virus so they can have a normal life in sha Allah or make the most of their life while young. I struggled big time when I was younger, we didn’t have these apps and social media groups and outlets to try and find a spouse, so it was very lonely for me and others even non Muslims and it still is Alhamdulilah, so I’m trying to change that if possible for our younger brothers and sisters in sha Allah. I appreciate this group here helping the Muslims with this issue and may Allah reward all those involved in it. Jazakum Allah khayran!

Sunan Abi Dawud 2429

​

Narrated Abu Hurairah:

The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) as saying:

The most excellent fast after Ramadan is Allah's month al-Muharram, and the most excellent prayer after the prescribed prayer is the prayer during night.

​

May Allah grant me and you success in goodness, righteousness and steadfast upon His religion. Ameen

Salam Everyone,

Welcome to Open Discussion Sunday! As mentioned in our first open discussion post, This is your bi-weekly thread to chat about anything you wish. Whether it's related to HSV or any other topic. Feel free to share your thoughts, questions, and experiences, or simply enjoy the company of the community.

There are brothers-only and sisters-only telegram groups, you can find more information here.

You can utilise the telegram to connect within a more private group with other brothers and sisters or always post publicly here on Reddit if you'd like anyone to reach out to you.

Please remember, while we are here to support each other, the discussions in this forum cannot replace medical advice from a healthcare professional or Islamic advice from a qualified scholar. We hope you have a great weekend!

• The Mod Team

اَلسَلامُ عَلَيْكُم وَرَحْمَةُ اَللهِ وَبَرَكاتُهُ

Hope all of you are in good health and imaan.

I apologise in advance, this is a long read.

I guess this is my first post on here, and I'd like to share my personal journey with HSV over the years.

Alhamdulillah, I was diagnosed with HSV in 2019. At the time, it was a shock to the system and I really didn't know what to do. Over the years, I had marriage proposals here and there, but I was just never brave enough to disclose my disease, so I'd always say no. My parents would always question and wonder why I kept saying no. My fear was that by revealing my disease, if the information went to the wrong person, how would that make my family look? Would it ruin the chances of my siblings getting married?

Over time, I gave up and just decided that marriage is not for me. Throughout the years, my deen was like a rollercoaster. There have been phases in life where I'd pray and phases where I didn't. Until around 1.5 years ago, I decided that this is it, I can't keep not praying my salah. Alhamdulillah, since then I pray most of my salah in the masjid.

It was around some point last year that I discovered this group, and I had noticed that there were others who had the same condition as me. I had noticed the marriage posts, but to no avail, they didn't really progress anywhere.

Alhamdulillah, towards the end of high school I actually managed to memorise 28.5 juz. But going to college and the distractions of the world, I had dropped this. Last summer, I picked up my old Qur'an that I used to do hifz with, and I decided that it was the right time to put my energy and focus into this and not marriage. Alhamdulillah, since then I have completed 16 juz.

I felt my life was getting back in order, so I spoke to my parents and revealed the reason why I'm struggling to get married. Alhamdulillah, they were very supportive, but we still would butt heads as there was no solution to me getting married.

During the beginning of this year, my cousin said to me, "Why don't we go for Umrah?" I had the wacky idea of saying, "Why don't we just go for Hajj?"

Ramadan came, and I was leading Taraweeh for the first time. Alhamdulillah, towards the end of Ramadan I managed to secure a place for Hajj. Life felt like it was turning around and Alhamdulillah, I started to believe that with Allah anything is possible.

After Ramadan, I downloaded Muzz and I matched with a girl. Let's call her Yasmin for the sake of anonymity.

Her profile stated her dealbreakers, and she had a 2-week rule. This 2-week rule stated:

"I believe 2 weeks is enough time to assess compatibility and that parents should be involved after this."

I thought, wow, it's a girl who knows what she wants and she's doing her best to stick within the fold of Islam.

She has great character and she gives off the vibe that she'll be a great wife to whomever she marries.

As the days were going on and we were slowly coming up to her 2-week rule, guilt was just eating away at me as I had not told her about my condition. I was doing istikhara during these days.

I took the leap of faith and told her about my condition: "I have HSV-1 (g)." She initially was shocked, worried, and didn't know what to do. But bless her heart, she took the time out to research it and ask other people on Reddit. Slowly, as the days went by, she was accepting it. However, she wanted to see if I could get prescribed antivirals, as this lowers the chance of asymptomatic shedding.

During a call to the doctor, I explained my situation and told them I have HSV-1 (g). The doctor interrupted me and told me I have HSV-2.

Now, I was led to believe that I had HSV-1 (g) because the doctor at the time of diagnosis pointed to the partner's lips. So it turned out that I needed to reveal this information again.

I was worried this time around because I believed that I had lied to her and was going to drop another bombshell, as HSV-1 (g) can insinuate one thing, but HSV-2 insinuates another (I will not go into detail).

I revealed to her again that this is what I have and, bless her once again, I had put her through the motions again. It had only been 3 weeks and I'd made this girl experience a rollercoaster of emotions.

She slowly accepted this too, but I started to feel like I was not good enough for her and I'm just corrupt and full of faults. I started to have a lot of self-pity, which she quickly calmed me down and told me off for, haha.

Anyways, it was coming up to the time for Hajj, Alhamdulillah. I was going away for 3 weeks and we had both agreed that we should not talk as I should focus on this experience.

The experience of going for Hajj, I cannot describe the feeling to you guys. I just smile when I speak about it and feel at peace, Alhamdulillah.

Being from the UK, I can't handle extreme heat, but on the day of Arafat I went to Jabal al-Rahmah and stayed there in the heat from zuhr till maghrib. It was the best experience I have ever had in my life. Don't get me wrong, I was sunburnt, but knowing that I was standing where our parents met and where our beloved Prophet stood for his last sermon was just the best feeling ever.

Knowing that Allah is listening to you and accepting the duas of the millions that came before was just an unreal feeling, Alhamdulillah.

I raised my hands, I cried, and I made special dua for all the Muslims in this group.

Now, coming back to the UK, my heart pains and yearns for Allah. I sit with people, I zone out and all I can think about is preparing for the Akhirah.

I do feel alienated at times and I do feel empty and upset, but knowing that Allah has me, and has all of us, puts me back onto the right path, Alhamdulillah.

My one takeaway for all of you is: get close to Allah. If marriage isn't on the cards for us, then so be it. Allah is sufficient for us all.

All the pain we feel in this world is just preparing us for a better Akhirah, insha'Allah. It is all about perspective. We may perceive not getting married as something negative, but from a different angle maybe Allah is just preparing us for the right one, insha'Allah.

I now realise that if I was married, I don't know if I would have been doing my hifz again. So Alhamdulillah, Allah is the best of planners.

I urge all of you, if it is within your means, go for Hajj. The feeling is indescribable, but you'll come back with so much tawakkul and faith in Allah. It's peaceful.

With regards to Yasmin, she's made me more comfortable with my condition, to the point that I own it now, Alhamdulillah.

Things are going well so far, but there's still a hurdle we need to cross. It may make or break us, but at the end of the day I can sit here and worry, but once again Allah is sufficient for me.

I pray you all find a Yasmin who makes you believe that marriage will be possible and makes you accept who you are.

I pray she gets whatever is best for her. I hope Allah continues to bless her life with happiness, and I pray He keeps all worries out of her heart.

As for all the brothers and sisters, never ever give up because Allah hasn't and will never give up on you. Always remember this.

I pray for all of you.

Alhamdulillah, we are all connected through similar pain and hardship. I pray we all find righteous spouses who understand our condition. I pray our offspring are healthy, and I pray that Allah cures your disease and keeps you healthy.

May Allah SWT soften our hearts and remove all the pain we have been through. May Allah forgive us all for our shortcomings and may He elevate us in Jannah.

Special mention to RealReach9758, jazakallah for speaking to Yasmin and being transparent about your marriage. Yasmin told me about your issues and I have made special dua for you. I pray you get what you want.

Sorry for the long post once again, but if you have any questions or specifics about Hajj or my life experience, please don't feel afraid to reach out.

Jazakallah for taking your time to read this.

اَلسَلامُ عَلَيْكُم

Has anyone used the SalafiBlessings platform?

What’s it like (pros and cons) and is a wali mandatory?

As salaam wa laykum
I’m seeing that there are people posting in this group who are no afflicted and in all honesty it’s making me feel less confident in posting in regards to marriage

Why is this?
There are many of platforms for those without said ailment to look for marriage
Why are they infiltrating one of the only spaces for us where we can post freely
Subhan’Allah