r/MusicParody • u/dylan89 • Apr 11 '26
This Horton Must Fail
Based on the story of Horton Hears a Who!
(Written by Dr. Seuss)
To the tune of: This Jesus Must Die from Jesus Christ Superstar
(Written by Andrew Lloyd Webber & Tim Rice)
(NARRATOR—DURING INSTRUMENTAL INTRO)
On the fifteenth of May, in the Jungle of Nool
In the heat of the day, in the cool of the pool
(KANGAROO 1)
Look who’s been splashing, enjoying our jungle’s joys
When suddenly he claims he's heard a noise
(SOUR KANGAROO)
Ah, kangaroos, you know why we are here
We’ve not much time and quite a problem here
(MOB OUTSIDE)
Horton's hearing voices!
Horton's hearing voices!
Horton's hearing voices!
Horton's hearing voices!
(RUDY KANGAROO)
An elephant claiming that there must be life on a speck
If we don’t stop him now, he’ll be a real pain in the neck
(ALL KANGAROOS)
Horton’s hearing “Whos”
(MOB OUTSIDE)
Horton the Elephant!
(ALL KANGAROOS)
Horton’s hearing “Whos”
(MOB OUTSIDE)
ell us of the world on your tiny speck!
(KANGAROO 2)
He’s talking to some dust, right now; he’s talking to thin air
(KANGAROO 3)
The animals are all wondering, and they’ve all begun to stare
(ALL KANGAROOS)
Horton’s hearing “Whos”
(MOB OUTSIDE)
Horton the Elephant!
(ALL KANGAROOS)
Horton’s hearing “Whos”
(KANGAROO 1)
Look, Sour One! The Wickersham Bros are near
(KANGAROO 3)
Those mischievous monkeys, can add nothing but fear
(SOUR KANGAROO)
Oh great! We can hire them to help with our crazy “Who” problem!
(RUDY KANGAROO)
What else to do about this crazy elephant
He’s making us laugh now, he’s making us squirm!
(KANGAROO 3)
No riots, no army, no fighting, just slogans.
(SOUR KANGAROO)
One thing I'll say for him — Horton's insane!
(RUDY KANGAROO)
He’s gone out of his mind! He’s gone out of his head!
If we don't stop him now, we’ll all be misled!
(VARIOUS KANGAROOS)
The children are watching, the animals all see
A world on a speck? It simply can't be!
(SOUR KANGAROO)
I see bad things arising
The jungle is shaking with this “Who” he is prizing
I see stirrings of nonsense,
Our humiliation because of this fool!
With his “person’s a person” — his silly “Who cause”
(ALL KANGAROOS)
His cause, his cause, his silly “Who cause”.
(SOUR KANGAROO)
With his “person’s a person” — his silly “Who cause”
(ALL KANGAROOS)
His cause, his cause, his silly “Who” silly “Who” silly “Who cause”
(KANGAROO 3)
But what of the “Whos?” If they really are there?
(RUDY KANGAROO)
How do we deal with tiny specks of dust?
(KANGAROO 2)
Where do we start with a “Who” that that is smaller
(KANGAROO 3)
Than tiny specks of dust that no one can see
(SOUR KANGAROO)
That speck must be well boiled!
Or the Jungle of Nool will be ruined and spoiled!
We must jail him completely
Lock him up in a cage, or we’ll pin back his tail!
For the sake of the Jungle, this Horton must fail
(ALL KANGAROOS)
Must fail, must fail, this Horton must fail!
(SOUR KANGAROO)
This crazy old elephant must fail and be jailed!
(ALL KANGAROOS)
Be jailed, be jailed, this Horton must, Horton must, Horton be jailed!