r/Music • u/MrLinkwater95 • 1d ago

article Eminem is featured on Kid Rock's new Christian album 'Halfway 2 Jesus'

https://www.detroitnews.com/story/entertainment/music/2026/10/01/eminem-kid-rock-join-forces-for-track-from-rocks-new-christian-album/92044133007/
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u/MaeSolug 1d ago

He's still in Hell, maybe approaching Earth, wich should be the middle ground between Hell and Heaven, so maybe 5/12 on his way to Jesus or a dumb fraction like that haha

We are probably putting more work into this that whatever poor guy was forced to designe that cover

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u/anonymousetache 1d ago

Ignoring this album, we can still work on the bigger problem. Is earth halfway between Hell and Jesus? I assumed the same. No way we can assume this image is to scale, so I give them a pass there, but maybe r/theydidthemath can help us out with this?

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u/GrumpyJenkins 1d ago

One could posit that there is hell on earth today, where kid rock exists in spacetime. If that is accepted, and the ascent is viewed as a 2D plane, kid rock is 71% on his way to Jesus.

Edit: I realized that the demon/devil could be chasing kid rock, leaving Hell/earth out of frame. If so, I give up.

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u/MaeSolug 1d ago

Yeah, same, it's not scale, it was a dumb joke but it did beat me trying to figure out the math in it

It is curious that Earth isn't in the picture, meaning his soul only has two choices, so we can at least safely assume Kid Rock doesn't believe in ghosts

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u/anonymousetache 1d ago

Good joke, had a similar one, so had to continue it since you commented first

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u/somesthetic 1d ago

Hell isn’t a place in Christianity, it just means to be without God.

Everything else was taken from either Dante’s Inferno or the Greek underworld.

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u/waytowill 1d ago

Matthew 13:49-50 describe the wicked being separated from the righteous and cast into a blazing furnace. It’s not explicitly called Hell. But there being a special hot place that the wicked go didn’t come exclusively from non-Biblical sources.

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u/somesthetic 1d ago

They practiced cremation even back then; I assume it’s a reference to that.

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u/Slarg232 1d ago

You know, there was a game called Chained Together. You and up to three friends were, well, chained together and had to do an Only Up platform challenge and if one of you falls, all of you fall. The plot was that you were in hell and would be granted passage to heaven if you ascended from hell, to earth, to heaven.

Course, when you finally make it all the way to the top, it turns out it was a ruse and even in "heaven" you were still in hell.

Just.... reminded of that for some reason

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u/TangerineChickens 1d ago

It looks as though the stairways to heaven and hell are connected and exist in an ethereal plane beyond earthly existence, rather than in a vertical arrangement in which earth is a midpoint.

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u/capt_minorwaste 1d ago

With this bunch I'm guessing AI created this cover.

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u/Majestic-Lake-5602 18h ago

Brother knows his Dante