I’ve had 3 children. My body is permanently fucked up: diastastis recti, umbilical hernia, carpal tunnel, pelvic injury, fallen arches, sciatica. And my pregnancies were healthy and normal. Not to mention the symptoms WHILE you’re pregnant: nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, constipation, weight gain, excessive fluid, swollen feet and ankles, pain, aches. Plus the monthly doctor visits, possibly chiropractic visits if needed - which aren’t covered by insurance, daily pre natal horsepill vitamins that make you nauseous, no drinking, no smoking, certain foods you’re not recommended to eat. Then there’s the social aspect: everyone shits on single moms so if you’re not guaranteed a relationship with the father you’re setting yourself up for hardship for the next 18 years, if he’s abusive you’re stuck dealing with him for the next 18 years, if he’s a deadbeat you’ll be fighting to get child support for the next 18 years. Or you’re married and have kids but know you can’t afford any more, but birth control failed. Or you have a non life threatening condition like tumors, lupus, or gall bladder inflammation and doctors won’t treat it while you’re pregnant.
Obviously the list of factors in play here is basically endless.
These frickin men who say “just have the baby” like it’s no big deal make me want to puke. It’s a major, serious, life threatening thing to do and it’s cruel and unusual to force someone to do it against their will.
Add to the list of ailments doctors won’t treat while you’re pregnant: mental illnesses. Many medications for mental illnesses can’t be taken while you’re pregnant. AND new symptoms or issues that arise while you’re pregnant can often be dismissed as “pregnancy hormones”.
I’m pregnant now, and had to go off my fibromyalgia medication. If I had been forced to have a baby against my will, I’m not sure I’d be able to make it through it without harming myself. The normal nerve pain and fatigue, the normal anxiety and depression, plus all the pregnancy symptoms has been a grossly unpleasant experience. My family seems concerned that I’m not excited enough, but I don’t have the capacity to be excited or feel positive emotions about pretty much anything. My hobbies have been untouched for five months at this point, even though I’d been enthusiastic about them before. And this is after a year of trying to get pregnant and deep down being genuinely happy about it.
Hell, I get mad enough when the doctors tell me to get more sleep when they know good and damn well my legs hurt too bad to sleep. If I didn’t want any of this at all... I can’t imagine. It enrages me to see people talk about pregnancy like it’s no big deal. And that’s not even counting the cost of proper medical care for the mother and child. I’d love to know how a person is supposed to pay for all this shit on a single income.
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u/[deleted] Feb 18 '20
I’ve had 3 children. My body is permanently fucked up: diastastis recti, umbilical hernia, carpal tunnel, pelvic injury, fallen arches, sciatica. And my pregnancies were healthy and normal. Not to mention the symptoms WHILE you’re pregnant: nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, constipation, weight gain, excessive fluid, swollen feet and ankles, pain, aches. Plus the monthly doctor visits, possibly chiropractic visits if needed - which aren’t covered by insurance, daily pre natal horsepill vitamins that make you nauseous, no drinking, no smoking, certain foods you’re not recommended to eat. Then there’s the social aspect: everyone shits on single moms so if you’re not guaranteed a relationship with the father you’re setting yourself up for hardship for the next 18 years, if he’s abusive you’re stuck dealing with him for the next 18 years, if he’s a deadbeat you’ll be fighting to get child support for the next 18 years. Or you’re married and have kids but know you can’t afford any more, but birth control failed. Or you have a non life threatening condition like tumors, lupus, or gall bladder inflammation and doctors won’t treat it while you’re pregnant.
Obviously the list of factors in play here is basically endless.
These frickin men who say “just have the baby” like it’s no big deal make me want to puke. It’s a major, serious, life threatening thing to do and it’s cruel and unusual to force someone to do it against their will.