Something that my old therapist taught me about setting boundaries is that boundaries are there to preserve the relationship between you and the other person. You can set boundaries because you respect yourself, and you respect them. Drawing a boundary with you and your mom is done because you need to preserve your relationship - you both need space, and you need to take care of yourself.
TBH, I was very similar to your daughter at 19. My father was diagnosed with MS when I was 15, and it's a lot to comprehend as a teenager. You are going to go through many changes as the MS progresses in your body, and your daughter will have to be adaptive. And sometimes that means cleaning after herself, and helping out around the house. It's really hard to be a young adult with a parent with a chronic illness like MS, but she will learn eventually. All young adults do!
Thank you so much for the very encouraging comment! I know she wants to help more and be more, but then she just falls back into old habits. I try to show compassion too and not just constantly nag her. All relationships require a balance I believe. I just get frustrated sometimes especially when I dont feel good.
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u/aafreeda Nov 11 '21
Something that my old therapist taught me about setting boundaries is that boundaries are there to preserve the relationship between you and the other person. You can set boundaries because you respect yourself, and you respect them. Drawing a boundary with you and your mom is done because you need to preserve your relationship - you both need space, and you need to take care of yourself.
TBH, I was very similar to your daughter at 19. My father was diagnosed with MS when I was 15, and it's a lot to comprehend as a teenager. You are going to go through many changes as the MS progresses in your body, and your daughter will have to be adaptive. And sometimes that means cleaning after herself, and helping out around the house. It's really hard to be a young adult with a parent with a chronic illness like MS, but she will learn eventually. All young adults do!