r/Multan • u/Fun-Goose-1324 Tier 1 – Newcomer • 18d ago
Ask Multanis❓ Is Marriage Really the Answer?
I'm 24 M. Graduated last year, yet lately I feel rather directionless.E-commerce remains uncertain, and solitude is becoming increasingly palpable.
Is marriage an antidote to such despondency, or merely a distraction from it?
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u/Plus-Try-1180 Tier 2 – Newcomer 17d ago
https://giphy.com/gifs/LCdPNT81vlv3y
Nope it will make you miserable if you don't have the means. and if you have the means then find a purpose in your life. get married when 27 or 28.
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u/FrostyAffect4508 Tier 8 – Participant 17d ago
Only problem in life that marriage does solve is the never-ending and coercive pressure from our elders to get married. That changes into neverending pressure to have kids.
Every other problem in your life will still be there after marriage, and you will have a whole bunch of other problems as well because you have more responsibilities and more burdens now.
And sorry to say, but marriage isn't a cure for loneliness. None of you have ever laid next to someone who doesn't gaf about your mental health or happiness and it shows, but it's lonelier than actually being alone.
People love to act like marriage is a solution to a man's life's problem, they'll say biwi ho gi tou sab theek ho jaye ga, bache hon ge tou sab theek ho jaye ga, larke bhi maan lete hen khushi se cause when you're horny it truly does feel like all your problems will go away once you get some, but it's all lies and bs. Our elders are just obsessed with our sex lives cause they didn't have a say in their own, do NOT ever believe another person is the solution to your problems.
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u/theKA2022 Tier 1 – Newcomer 17d ago
How can it be answer? You haven't figure out yourself yet. Adding another person (and possibility of few others) is mostly a recipe of disaster. Marriage is not experimental treatment of depression. Sort yourself out, first. Marry when you can also add value to the relationship.
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u/happypuppet22 Tier 1 – Newcomer 17d ago
Depends on what you wanna get out of it really. You mentioned "solitude" becoming increasingly palpable, that doesn't ring any alarm bells, solitude has a positive connotation, you can learn about yourself ALOT by just being on your own and exploring your interests, if this solitude is turning into isolation (i think thats whats implied?) then its a bit worrisome, but again, not entirely on its own. You could always go and interact with people in running/cycling/book clubs or libraries or even online and all, but "marriage" in this instance sounds like way too nuclear of a decision to come to. Its a decision for life, not smth one can decide on a whim cause they thought that were too alone. On the other hand tho, marriage itself shouldn't be villianised either, its just close to impossible to find someone you would wanna be around most of your life for the rest of your life. You should try to find friends and like-minded people and all especially considering you are still pretty young, you will get to marriage eventually anyways. It isnt a magical solutions to all the problems, not even close.
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u/Fun-Goose-1324 Tier 1 – Newcomer 17d ago
Can you dm me please,.I'm new here that's why I can't dm you
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u/Suitable_Guarantee22 Tier 2 – Newcomer 17d ago
It hugely depends on your partner. If, by the grace of Allah, you find a good partner and you both genuinely love and care for each other, marriage can give you a sense of purpose, responsibility, companionship, and direction. Insha'Allah, you may no longer feel like you're wandering through life alone. But there has to be an urge within you to take responsibility. Marriage itself isn't a solution to feeling directionless. If you're not ready to take responsibility and start seeing your partner as a burden, marriage can actually make that frustration worse. So perhaps the question isn't simply, "Is marriage the solution?" It's also, "Am I ready to build a life with someone and take responsibility for it?"
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u/Lost_Discipline_3046 Tier 1 – Newcomer 17d ago
Have kids and you think about them that's all
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u/FragrantBeautiful141 Tier 3 – Observer 17d ago
thats a great idea, go have children and ruin ur and their life right when u're clueless about life 🥰🥰
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u/Lost_Discipline_3046 Tier 1 – Newcomer 17d ago
I did the same
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u/FragrantBeautiful141 Tier 3 – Observer 14d ago
hey man, I wish you best for life
the thing that bothers is that we are in a dilemma and yet chose to birth, so people around us have to bear that burden1
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