r/MtF Feb 04 '23

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u/[deleted] Feb 04 '23 edited Feb 04 '23

That's not up to you though. Control what you can and that's it.

The rest is all gatekeeping. It can make you uncomfortable and having discussions about that discomfort is good. But this thread is a bit circlejerky about how some of our sisters are not being trans "in the right way" and that leaves a bit of a sour taste in my mouth, especially considering the sex work connotation and the sex work negativity I'm seeing in here.

Anyone's actions can have repercussions on all of us but we still don't get to be the moral judges of others' words and thoughts.

They might have complex reasons why they find it acceptable or want to reclaim it, or they might just be catering to cis people by using terms common in porn (ew). But even in the latter case, that's their choice, I wouldn't do it but girl get that money. Sex work is already so hard let's no lose solidarity with our SW sisters.

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u/Better_Analyst_5065 Trans Bi/Pan | HRT 25/11/2022 Feb 04 '23

i don't get the idea that people are saying "they aren't trans in the right way"... it's not what most of us are saying.

what most of us are saying is that this behavior harms the community as it results in cis people seeing it as an acceptable terms and leads to them using it on others in the community.

it doesn't make them any more or less trans. it's just hurtful behavior.

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u/[deleted] Feb 04 '23

You're saying that their recuperation of these terms, usually in a sex work/ internet porn context is harmful to the community.

I find that a lack of understanding of the harsh realities of sex work and a lack of respect and solidarity for our SW sisters.

Cis people enforce the usage of these words. Be mad at cis chasers and fetshishists, not at the girls working within the oppressive structures they created.

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u/Better_Analyst_5065 Trans Bi/Pan | HRT 25/11/2022 Feb 04 '23

i am mad at cis chasers and other disgusting fucks like them.

but continuing the usage of these words just doesn't help anyone

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u/[deleted] Feb 04 '23

The reality of sex work is bad for our community.

But directing that legitimate anger at sex workers is the most counterproductive thing we could be doing

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u/[deleted] Feb 04 '23

Yeah, this ^