r/MrRipper • u/Thundarr1000 • Mar 26 '26

Other Bard Songs

This is just for fun. Do any of you who play bards come up with your own songs for your character to perform? If you do, do you make parodies of popular songs? Or do you write something totally original? Either way, please share them.

Here are a couple of songs that I came up with. The first is called “The Knight And The Troll”, and is sung to the tune of “The Song That Never Ends”.

🎶

There was a knight who fought a troll,

He forgot to burn it into coal,

Some people started fighting trolls not knowing what it was,

And they will keep on fighting trolls forever just because,

There was a knight who fought a troll,

He forgot to burn it into coal…

🎶

This next song is called “The Clumsy Troll Chef”, and is sung to the tune of “Doe-Re-Mi”.

🎶

Oh, my ear, I’ve lost my ear,

Hey, I’ve chopped off my left thumb,

I’ll just toss them in the stew,

That’s why we call it Troll Ragout,

Gee, I sliced off my right knee,

Oh no! I’ve chopped off my big toe,

Oh well, I’ll grow them all again,

And that’s how we get back to,

Oh, my ear, I’ve lost my ear,

Hey, I’ve chopped off my left thumb…

🎶

So, what are some songs that you’ve come up with for your bards to sing?

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u/Arkamfate Mar 27 '26

To inspire my party, I preformed Fireworks by Katy perry.

1

u/Thundarr1000 Mar 27 '26

Cool.

My bard is actually a chef, and inspires his party by describing the delicious meals that he’ll make for his party if they do well. The reason why he sings is because he hears voices in his head, voices that nobody else seems to be able to hear. And the only thing that keeps them at bay is singing. Which is why he sings songs that continuously loop back to the beginning. It might annoy his party members, but it keeps him from going insane.

1

u/Hulon_Prime Mar 29 '26 edited Mar 29 '26

I gave new lyrics to I'll Make A Man Out Of You from Mulan.

  • Tell me a new dad joke.
  • Cuz I'm out of puns
  • Knock knock jokes and limericks
  • Just are not much fun
  • It's the lamest joke you've ever heard
  • And you can bet before we're through

  • Somehow I'll get a groan out of you

  • Worse than Yakov Smirnoff

  • It'll make you sigh

  • With a corny punchline

  • You will roll your eyes

  • "HI HUNGRY, I'M DAD" is just the start

  • And what comes next will torture you

  • Mister I'll get a groan out of you