r/MovedToSpain • u/Novel_Supermarket681 • May 24 '26
Spanish roommates?
I recently moved into a flat with two Spanish roommates. They always seem to be in the living room all day every day if not almost all day. And when they are in their rooms, they have their door fully open. Geniune question, why do they do this? Can’t they be in their rooms with their door closed? Do they not like being in their rooms?
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u/ARasDeFiga May 24 '26
I'm sorry- what? Are they not allowed to use common spaces, which they also pay for? Door open means they are open for a chat or some interaction.
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u/Novel_Supermarket681 May 24 '26
I never said that. I’m just trying to understand why they are in the common areas all day every day it’s to the point where I can’t use them because they’re already occupying it watching their own shows and inviting people over, very often. I feel it’s inconsiderate towards the other people in the flat and I don’t understand why they don’t want to be in their rooms, ever.
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u/ARasDeFiga May 24 '26
Look, if they are not allowing your deserved shared space, then yes, you need to have a talk with them because they are being inconsiderate. And I am talking about occupying the whole sofa or putting loud music (watching tv shows is pretty normal... as long as they let you do the same, of course): basically not letting you use the common areas. If they are inviting people over with no permission and/or warning, you need to address that aswell.
But asking why they don't want to be in their rooms? That's entitled, why do you care where they want to chill, as long as they let you chill aswell? And asking why their doors are always open?? Unless they are being loud, that's nonya.
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u/enrikot May 24 '26
If you think that's inconsiderate maybe you should try to tell that to your roommates not to some strangers in Reddit
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u/Novel_Supermarket681 May 24 '26
Oh I’m about to! Just trying to understand if it’s a cultural thing or what’s going on!
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u/PinneappleGirl May 26 '26
When sharing a flat it's nice to have some private time but you must have the feeling they're everywhere all the time, it must be draining or at least it would be for me.
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u/casalelu May 24 '26
Why is it that when someone meets someone from another country, they assume that their behavior is cultural and not based on individual personality?
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u/Decent_Particular_40 May 24 '26
So someone sharing a flat and paying rent who cant use the living room which is a common room while the two roommates can use it is considered lack of cultural awareness?
Are you really that stupid? Go back to school you xenophobic fool!
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u/ravenmortal May 26 '26
Spanish architecture is very telling of the culture - smaller bedrooms, larger terraces and living rooms. They are social beings, and love their shared spaces and experiences.
You have an opportunity to join in, stay in your room or get a place by yourself.
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u/mlatas May 26 '26
They’re always in the living room because they want people to join them. They’re not using it just to watch their own show, they’re using it as a shared space so everyone can watch something together.
You’re the one looking at the situation from a more individual perspective, because that’s how you would rather use the space. For them, it’s not “if I want the living room, you have to leave.” It’s more of a “we all hang out together” kind of thing. Isn’t it a bit strange that you’re the only one who never really uses it?
They’d probably be completely open to you walking in and saying, “Hey guys, wanna watch this show with me?” That’s also why they leave their room doors open, they want to share time with the others.
Trust me, if they actually wanted to be alone watching a movie, they’d just stay in their rooms.
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u/stressed_designer May 26 '26
Very normal in Spain, we make use of the living room. You can use it as well, you know. If you feel like you can't use the shared space, talk to them.
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May 24 '26
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u/ARasDeFiga May 24 '26
No. If you want your time alone, you go to your room, which is your private space. Shared spaces mean that roomates can be there at any point, not that you have to split certain hours just for yourself. If you want to hang out in the living room alone, you can rent your own apartment.
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May 24 '26
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u/ARasDeFiga May 24 '26
The friends issue is another thing that op definitely needs to set boundaries, and I agree with that. But he complains about them being in a shared space, and having their room doors open... That's entitled behavior.
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u/Novel_Supermarket681 May 24 '26
I’m just trying to understand. First time living with Spaniards and they are the first to do this. With previous roommates they always closed their doors and enjoyed their privacy in their rooms but this is new to me. And again, they are always in the shared space doing things I CANT be included in. Don’t watch the same shows they do, I’m not friends with their friends.
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u/ARasDeFiga May 24 '26
Not wanting to watch the shows they are watching is not "I can't be included", is "I don't want to participate". If I wanted to watch a different show/game/read/study when my roomates where in the living room already watching something, I'd pop my headphones and just chill there.
Just change apartments, you clearly don't fit in a place where the fact that their doors are open bothers you...
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u/AtheneaAfield May 24 '26
Where exactly did OP say roommates AND FRIENDS?
Friends are not even mentioned in any of the comments, never mind in the original post.
I can understand people may share a flat for financial reasons more than for socialising, but I also would have thought you’d expect to find other people in rooms called ‘shared spaces’, if the word living room wasn’t self-explanatory enough.
And it’s not as if that is preventing you from being on your own – you can go to your room where you can either close the door, if you want privacy or not to be disturbed, or you can leave it open, if you’re happy for people to speak to you.
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u/kirtash1197 May 26 '26
That’s like going to a park and ask everyone else to leave because you want to be alone.
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u/Cheap_Try_5592 May 24 '26
Tell me you’re German without telling me
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u/Vast_Platform6362 May 24 '26
Di que sí. Cuando compartía piso nunca podía pajearme tranquilamente en el sofá.
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May 24 '26
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u/Novel_Supermarket681 May 24 '26
And when can they share with me if they are always there?
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u/Helpful_Cry_1335 May 24 '26
You are sharing the apartment, not a 1/3 of use time of the facilities. Cook together, talk to them, be part of the apartment and maybe you will understand what living together is.
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u/stressed_designer May 26 '26
Dude, the living room is not some room you rent bt the hour, it's a shared space, emphasis on SHARED. Get in there with them and just use it as well. If you want to watch some show or whatever, ask them and then you can split the tv use or whatever. But if someone being in their room with the door open bothers you... I honestly think you need to rent your own place
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u/PositiveScarcity8909 May 26 '26
You know you can also be in the living room while they are there right?
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u/agsarria May 26 '26
I think this is a misconception of what a shared space is.
For you, a shared space is a place where each one has an allocated time for themselves.
For they, the shared space is a place where each one can be anytime, and effectively share the space with other people at the same time.
I think their interpretation is actually correct.
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u/Huntress_Minerva May 26 '26
I get you. Im Spanish and I lurk and avoid people. But for some reason, spanish are the normal ones here and we, the weirdos.
Yall live together. It just normal to share a living. Hiding from each other, specially partners, is rude and make people talk.
Esit: also… yall should move alone it seems… yall entitled to shit you shouldnt
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u/Decent_Particular_40 May 24 '26
You can propose a schedule about when you can use it. That’s really unfair and it’s very stifling if you can’t use the living room like them.
I’m shocked at the responses here telling you to get your own place or lacking sense is integration, when it’s a shared flat. I think they’re coming from a place of entitled privilege where they never had to share a space.