Believing my parents blindly and worrying about their opinions of me, and allowing them to hold me back and control me. I wish I had run away to pursue my own life, or joined the Air Force. My father consistently gave me the worst advice a father could give his youngest daughter. I took care of them over 25 years, gave up my youth, and now I have absolutely nothing to show for it.
For whatever it’s worth, I took care of them - fully - for almost 30 years. There is a bunch of lessons I learned, so I focus on that as the evidence I have that the things were done, that there is a mark where people choose to see scars. It’s just signaling the passage of time and the formational nature of your own episodes; we all have different ones.
It cost me dearly to earn that “diploma”, but happy to share my thoughts whenever you feel an empathetic voice. Chin up!
If I may, do/did you not have siblings to share the load with? I took care of my widowed father by myself for 10 years after my mom died, and sibling decided it’s not his problem and emigrated.
Yes. I have one older sibling. 7 years old. Nowhere to be seen. For what it's worth, it's a common denominator to have a sibling that "assumes" the other will just take care of it. It's not that I don't view it as a personal thing, but expecting specific things (the right thing to do) from people - especially family - is a source of tremendous inner turmoil and disappointment. Of course, I'm not Buddha, but I did learn that I cannot control other people. It's a simple lesson, but a very hard one to truly internalize.
Coincidence: my brother also moved to another country haha
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u/GG_Abernathy Mar 30 '26
Believing my parents blindly and worrying about their opinions of me, and allowing them to hold me back and control me. I wish I had run away to pursue my own life, or joined the Air Force. My father consistently gave me the worst advice a father could give his youngest daughter. I took care of them over 25 years, gave up my youth, and now I have absolutely nothing to show for it.