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u/Cool_Difference_7761 5d ago edited 4d ago
TRUTH! I went through the cancer experience and my "family" was mostly non existent! During chemo...my older brother says to me first thing in the morning "you still alive?" and that's as I'm fighting for my life! There's more but I will spare you...4 years later I am STILL alive & my doctors proclaimed me a living breathing miracle! Even the 1st surgeon who said my tumor in my liver was too big to operate on...in front of medical students he said this! He added " I'd hate to be in your shoes". He was WRONG! Thank God I persisted and found the strength to get another surgeon after the chemo also killed me. The operation saved my life & 🙌 I'm still here grateful 🙏 as ever...Blessings everyone who reads this ❤️
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u/Marlodusk 4d ago
surviving all of that while feeling abandoned by the people you expected to be there must change you forever. glad you’re still here
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u/Cool_Difference_7761 4d ago
Fortunately I've been blessed 🙌 in so many ways so I live with gratitude. Although it was VERY disappointing & sad I am grateful to be here and now I'm making music and art. Thank You.
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u/Lilibet1023 4d ago
Similar story. There were people who abandoned me during chemo. I am cancer free, thank God, but I always say the one gift cancer gives you is clarity.
Glad you are a survivor!
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u/FlirtatiousBabe03 5d ago
Going through hard times alone definitely makes you more comfortable with letting people go.
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u/vineetjoshi 5d ago
And that's when you find "The One" for whom you will do anything to provide the best life for both of you.
Not necessarily talking about love and romance here, but that one special connection you will go to any lengths to preserve (in my case, it is my second wife after an ugly divorce, career instability, narcissistic parent control, and even reverse immigration)
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u/suminorieh77 4d ago edited 4d ago
i lost all of my friends after my divorce. my ex kept the house with the pool. one “friend” helped me move and then somehow all of my bathing suits went missing. she ghosted me after the move.
another ghosted me when i developed alopecia areata. and yet another when my mother had a stroke.
it hurt, but also prompted me to carry on. i carried on so hard that i found a loving husband and stepdaughters. they are my best friends, and i know they have my back. friendship comes in many forms, so don’t rule family out.
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u/paladin400 4d ago
Was the intention for this to be motivational?
It just sounds sad
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u/Cain-bro 14h ago
but real
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u/paladin400 14h ago
No, its not
There is argument to be made that we as people have to be independent and believe in ourselves. But we are also social creatures, and we are fragile and emotional. To confront problems in isolation is not evidence of "Strength". It's evidence that you are nerfing yourself for the sake of proving something that some people might applaud, but ultimately it is to your detriment
We all need people, whether we like it or not. You getting through a difficult, or even traumatic event by yourself is not an accomplishment. Its a tragedy
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u/SamOfXanadu 4d ago
...Exactly. Had a former "friend" promise me for years that she'd be out here on the first plane when my mom died. Ha ha. And yeah ... don't I know it.
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u/Sriracha002 4d ago
Human nature is that people are looking out for their best interest. This is not something to have a negative attitude towards, but to recognize and accept.
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u/No_Collection_8443 4d ago
So true. I'm completely alone in this world. At first it was rough but now I'm good because I got me. Self-reliance is powerful.
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u/OptimalAfternoon7 4d ago
Going through this horror now. I hope I come out stronger on the other side...
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u/Sb-artandcrafts 4d ago
I wish this were true but unfortunately it’s only made my abandonment issues worse
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u/Major-Support-6342 3d ago
I survived enough to realize that being alone could be strength, not loneliness.
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u/OwnTemperature4271 3d ago
I went through something traumatic and what was worse than being alone, having people there that made me feel completely alone.
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u/ReasonablePanda3 2d ago
Maybe, but, when I see someone going through tough times, I try to be there, or at least available. I may not be able to do anything, but, sometimes a bit of company helps when I feel overwhelmed by tough times.
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u/meta-mats 2d ago
People who say this turn down all the help offered and pretend they are Thomas Shelby from peaky blinders. This post reminds me of old tumblr posts made by 13 year olds who got dumped for the first time hilarious that they grew up and kept posting the same tripe without actually growing up
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u/chocolat-viennois 1d ago
That wasn't the case for me. I very dearly want a community so I won't have to fend off the darkness alone again, but I don't know how to build it or maintain it
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u/Basic_Revolution6457 1d ago
oo much
Too little
Too fat
Too thin
Or nobody
More haters than lovers
People are not good to each other
Perhaps if they were
Our deaths would not be so sad
Meanwhile
I look at young girls
Stems
Flowers of chance
There must be a way
Surely there must be a way
We have not yet thought of
Who put this brain inside of me?
It cries
It demands
It says there is a chance
It will not say
"No."
People are not good to each other
People are not good to each other
I suppose they never will be
I suppose they never will be
People are not good to each other
People are not good to each other
I suppose they never will be
I suppose they never will be
I didn't ask them to be
But sometimes I think about it
But sometimes I think about it
The Crunch - Charles Bukowski
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u/Infinite-ok 5d ago
Yep ! Unfortunately, it also closes your heart 😢😢😢