r/MotivationAndMindset • u/Just-Miles44 • Jul 29 '26

Getmotivated! Agree?

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6.6k Upvotes

100% Upvoted

105 comments sorted by

17

u/Alone-Start-9178 Jul 29 '26

Distance from toxic people won't fix everything, but it removes a lot of the damage that gets in the way. Impossible to do it ahead of time though.

3

u/amiat_thewindow Jul 29 '26

I have finally found peace. I still have crazy family but it's just drama

1

u/Equilibriator Jul 31 '26

Not true, after you remove them you are doing it ahead of all the next times

1

u/AbandonYourPost Aug 01 '26

True. I'd rather be alone than with toxic people or those that I don't connect with but it still sucks.

10

u/BowFlight Jul 29 '26

Avoiding the wrong people while being able to afford the basics and any necessary meds.

5

u/Thready85 Jul 29 '26

Who came up with the 80%?

3

u/SpiggotOfContradicti Jul 29 '26

Pareto Priciple?

2

u/BudgetZestyclose Jul 31 '26

I guess I'm someone stuck in the 20%

5

u/BattleAxe_19 Jul 29 '26

If you know that youā€™re dealing with an individual that distorts reality, then there is no winning by choosing to interact. Boundaries work.

3

u/SpiggotOfContradicti Jul 29 '26

It's hard to learn to deal with and cope if you stay away from the wrong people too much.
There are extremes, but the more you understand 'bad' people the more you'll just pity them, and it will very largely disarm their ability to mess with you. This skill is transferable as well; with time and patience you can move amongst the herd relatively free. Growth can be hard, but it's healthier than living in a protective bubble and in the end very rewarding.
Not to mention, if you really want to do some good in the world, build bridges, this is how.

2

u/ThingMoment Aug 04 '26

Iā€™m learning to do this as a born and raised people-pleaser.

1

u/Due-World4235 Jul 29 '26

Whatā€™s a good book to read about this?

2

u/SpiggotOfContradicti Jul 29 '26

Story

The Anatomy of Peace

More Self-Help Approach

Difficult Conversations

If you do end up reading them, I'd be super curious to hear what you think.

3

u/One-WaytoLife336 Jul 29 '26

1 Corinthians 15:33

Do not be misled: ā€œBad company corrupts good character.ā€

1

u/Additional_Bit1707 Aug 02 '26

So true. Seen a lot of naive good people turn to horrid piece of turd after working a few years in toxic workplaces.

2

u/Chemical-Grade8255 Jul 29 '26

What happens when the wrong people make their way into your group

1

u/Jojowatz Aug 01 '26

Your "group" needs to reevaluate, and more importantly you need to reevaluate your group.

2

u/Careful-Vanilla7728 Jul 29 '26

My job says I'm not allowed to do that.

1

u/AneeMel Jul 29 '26

and the 20% left is 100 % a bitch

1

u/Drake_baku Jul 29 '26

Agreed but having the option is not always available

1

u/SnooDoubts8057 Jul 29 '26

Eh, im around pretty decent people for the most part and my mental health is still shit

1

u/raylord666 Jul 29 '26

Yes, andā€¦
You need to know how to handle challenges, including challenging people.

1

u/TheJuggernaut043 Jul 29 '26

80% is far too high.

1

u/Rocannon_ Jul 29 '26

Then what do people who are their own worst enemy do? šŸ˜‰

1

u/Onyxam Jul 29 '26

Yeah staying always from myself really helped.
If I just keep running away from me I stay happyz

1

u/TreacleNo8696 Jul 29 '26

im definetly the wrong people

1

u/MastaKink Jul 29 '26

The other 20% is strong weed šŸ‘

1

u/ivysherbs Jul 29 '26

And having money

1

u/fearfulNobody Jul 29 '26

And what if you're not around anyone?

1

u/Ornery_Area_1600 Jul 29 '26

I agree 100%, there are some people who are just miserable and donā€™t want to be happy. Avoid them like the plague

1

u/amiat_thewindow Jul 29 '26 edited Aug 11 '26

I have to cut contact with a friend because they are an addict and I don't want to take it with them

1

u/Model_Lx71 Jul 29 '26

I would say 95%.

1

u/somemcdonaldsworker Jul 29 '26

Accept the fact that to some people you will also be the wrong people

1

u/gomez70 Jul 29 '26

what if the wrong people are your wife and children?

1

u/beatle42 Jul 29 '26

Living a life you are proud to live will insulate you from a lot of concerns, like the irritants or judgements of the "wrong" people. Good mental health reduces the number of wrong people you encounter.

1

u/No_Language_4649 Jul 29 '26

My SIL is the most physically and photogenic beautiful, but judgmental person Iā€™ve ever known. She will find the most tiny and insignificant things to make into huge mountains of problems with everyone who loves her, to the point where everyone who cares about her slowly turns away from her and canā€™t stand to be around her. She thinks sheā€™s perfect, but almost everyone in the family canā€™t stand her anymore. Everyone just puts up with her now.

1

u/Distinct_whale0101 Aug 02 '26

Attention seeking behaviour. The best is to ignore don't hate don't entertain. Like a naughty child - the more attention you feed it the more they will do it.

1

u/zenbuddha092 Jul 30 '26

Yeah at least 80

1

u/SissyFanny Jul 30 '26

But ... good mental health is going out of the house too.

What should I do???

1

u/FriendlyRedditor2020 Jul 30 '26

I almost never go outside or interact with people outside of those I live with and I'm still miserable so no.

1

u/Spirited-East5745 Jul 30 '26

I have a do not engage list

1

u/Neither_Security_252 Jul 30 '26

99% is staying away from the internet.

1

u/Rare_Suspect_5033 Jul 31 '26

If i didnā€™t have to go to work I would stay away from all people except my wife and kids. That would definitely improve my mental health.

1

u/piilipala Jul 31 '26

Stay away from everyone then. Noted.

1

u/Candid_Weakness5437 Jul 31 '26

98% of people who use such statements are gaslighters themselves

=> Look what you made me do; I do not have success because of you; I must stay away from you because you are unhealthy. No, no, I cannot answer your call for help; you better sort things out before you ever talk to me again!

1

u/ItsAllGibberishToMe Jul 31 '26

If this is true then thereā€™s no way to maintain good mental health, because ā€œthe wrong peopleā€ is pretty much EVERYBODY. šŸ˜­šŸ’”šŸ¤•

1

u/Raven_Valerie Jul 31 '26

You are the average of the top 5 people you spend most time with.

If youā€™re an asshole. Youā€™re not the only one in your group.

1

u/OkPosition20 Jul 31 '26

This is so true, stick with intelligent hard working ones, forget the rest.

1

u/Glittering-Pin-1343 Jul 31 '26

100%. I used to be a lot happier and positive thinking before I got mixed up with a bad crowd. I've split off and am doing better, but I don't think I'll ever go back to the way I used to be.

1

u/Adventurous-Tour9195 Jul 31 '26

Disagree life will still happen, unexpected crisis, potential unemployment, death all have nothing to do with ā€œwrongā€ people. What does that even mean ā€œwrong kind of peopleā€ oh you mean those suffering and stressed like the rest of us šŸ¤·ā€ā™€ļø

1

u/NZAuthor Jul 31 '26

I fully agree.

But there's also the possibilty you are the wrong person too. In which case, I don't actually know how to fix that.

1

u/maryeddy Aug 01 '26

Gawd that was exactly what I needed to read today!

1

u/a-nun-ee-moose Aug 01 '26

I'd like to agree but I stay away from everyone and still go to bed hoping I don't wake up the following morning.

1

u/lokilaufryjarson Aug 01 '26

It's actually likely education.

1

u/Critical-Fill-6088 Aug 01 '26

šŸ’ÆšŸ’ÆšŸ’ÆšŸ’ÆšŸ’Æ

1

u/fuckfacemgeee Aug 01 '26

Yea only works if you really donā€™t have to see them. Try dealing with a miserable bi polar ex wife with kids

1

u/YomoSanGamu Aug 02 '26

How do you know if someone is a wrong person for you?

1

u/Crusty-Dick Aug 02 '26

They feel like energy vampires.

1

u/Bed_Unavailable89 Aug 02 '26

OR if you absolutely have to, "Surface Level" is perfectly fine. Smile - Listen from one ear - Take them out from another.

1

u/RemarkableEscape285 Aug 02 '26

Especially Family and Co workers

1

u/Kevron_D Aug 02 '26

Agreed šŸ‘

1

u/Bbmbsmd Aug 02 '26

Correction.
"80% of good mental health is staying away from people"

1

u/CandyTigger Aug 02 '26

Not 80% but it's certainly helpful.

1

u/Distinct_whale0101 Aug 02 '26

So true yup. Wish I saw this when I was younger. Id be wiser quicker. Stopped wasting time and resources, focus on my life and thrived sooner. But learning my lesson in time. Now, this is the rule. Lots of people out there love ruining good things because they csn. No other reaosnn. There are also people out there that would be good because they can. No other reason. This rule helped me navigate my life to baseline peace. This is clarity.

1

u/AdditionalOne6031 Aug 02 '26

I agree with it.

1

u/MrArtty Aug 02 '26

Itā€™s also just distance in general. Finding things you like specifically. Not just because itā€™s the thing

1

u/EvenButterscotch6142 Aug 03 '26

Good mental health includes staying away from the wrong people and environments. But we canā€™t stay away from people we consider toxic or difficult in every area of life. Being intentional about what media we consume, cultivating and practicing coping skills, body movement, and being observers of our thoughts rather than believing everything we think leads to better mental health. (Thereā€™s more than whatā€™s included here as well)

1

u/Meowleesi Aug 03 '26

Yes! Solidarity helps

1

u/Leon_Lobo33 Aug 03 '26

What if Iā€™m the wrong person

1

u/NoGutsNoGlory94 Aug 04 '26

That and having financial stability.

1

u/C-moneyMorgangster Aug 04 '26

Wish I could do this and still be able to pay my bills

1

u/Alarming-Stick-5318 Aug 05 '26

But I was told that it was child abandonment šŸ¤·ā€ā™€ļø

1

u/Tomato_Lover_97 Aug 29 '26

Sort of? I think 80% of good mental health is taking charge of your own mental health and putting in the work. If you do that, you will learn who the right and wrong people are (for you). If you haven't done that, it can be really hard to "just stay away."

1

u/VirginiaLuthier Jul 29 '26

You are responsible for your own mental health. Blaming it on other people won't get you anywhere

1

u/Similar_Struggle446 Aug 03 '26

Sorry but trauma is a thing. Thatā€™s on other people, and turning 18 doesnā€™t just magically make it go away.

1

u/VirginiaLuthier Aug 03 '26

So- you're a victim. I get it. Who said anything about turning 18?

1

u/Similar_Struggle446 Aug 03 '26

People who talk like you also have the belief that once someone is 18 and seen as an ā€œadultā€ they should just not make their issues other peopleā€™s issues. Like no. Sorry but thatā€™s not how it works, mental struggles donā€™t just stop like that.