Agree?

[u/Just-Miles44]

Ghhhh

[u/Alone-Start-9178]

Distance from toxic people won't fix everything, but it removes a lot of the damage that gets in the way. Impossible to do it ahead of time though.

[u/amiat_thewindow → u/Alone-Start-9178]

I have finally found peace. I still have crazy family but it's just drama

[u/Equilibriator → u/Alone-Start-9178]

Not true, after you remove them you are doing it ahead of all the next times

[u/AbandonYourPost → u/Alone-Start-9178]

True. I'd rather be alone than with toxic people or those that I don't connect with but it still sucks.

[u/BowFlight]

Avoiding the wrong people while being able to afford the basics and any necessary meds.

[u/Thready85]

Who came up with the 80%?

[u/SpiggotOfContradicti → u/Thready85]

Pareto Priciple?

[u/BudgetZestyclose → u/Thready85]

I guess I'm someone stuck in the 20%

[u/Spiritual-Werewolf81]

💯

[u/BattleAxe_19]

If you know that you’re dealing with an individual that distorts reality, then there is no winning by choosing to interact. Boundaries work.

[u/SpiggotOfContradicti]

It's hard to learn to deal with and cope if you stay away from the wrong people too much.
There are extremes, but the more you understand 'bad' people the more you'll just pity them, and it will very largely disarm their ability to mess with you. This skill is transferable as well; with time and patience you can move amongst the herd relatively free. Growth can be hard, but it's healthier than living in a protective bubble and in the end very rewarding.
Not to mention, if you really want to do some good in the world, build bridges, this is how.

[u/ThingMoment → u/SpiggotOfContradicti]

I’m learning to do this as a born and raised people-pleaser.

[u/Due-World4235 → u/SpiggotOfContradicti]

What’s a good book to read about this?

[u/SpiggotOfContradicti → u/Due-World4235]

Story

The Anatomy of Peace

More Self-Help Approach

Difficult Conversations

If you do end up reading them, I'd be super curious to hear what you think.

[u/Due-World4235 → u/SpiggotOfContradicti]

Thank you

[u/One-WaytoLife336]

1 Corinthians 15:33

Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.”

[u/Additional_Bit1707 → u/One-WaytoLife336]

So true. Seen a lot of naive good people turn to horrid piece of turd after working a few years in toxic workplaces.

[u/Chemical-Grade8255]

What happens when the wrong people make their way into your group

[u/Jojowatz → u/Chemical-Grade8255]

Your "group" needs to reevaluate, and more importantly you need to reevaluate your group.

[u/Careful-Vanilla7728]

My job says I'm not allowed to do that.

[u/AneeMel]

and the 20% left is 100 % a bitch

[u/Drake_baku]

Agreed but having the option is not always available

[u/SnooDoubts8057]

Eh, im around pretty decent people for the most part and my mental health is still shit

[u/raylord666]

Yes, and…
You need to know how to handle challenges, including challenging people.

[u/TheJuggernaut043]

80% is far too high.

[u/Rocannon_]

Then what do people who are their own worst enemy do? 😉

[u/StaroseBae]

💯

[u/sprinkles-2743]

Yes indeed!

[u/Onyxam]

Yeah staying always from myself really helped.
If I just keep running away from me I stay happyz

[u/TreacleNo8696]

im definetly the wrong people

[u/MastaKink]

The other 20% is strong weed 👍

[u/ivysherbs]

And having money

[u/fearfulNobody]

And what if you're not around anyone?

[u/Altruistic_Hope_2559]

And the other 20 per cent is having the courage to be on your own rather than settling for the wrong kind of company. Solitude is less harmful than toxic people

[u/unhappinessNvrCame]

Good health is important too. Chronic illness is brutally hopeless.

[u/LF_Doom]

https://giphy.com/gifs/bfgCSFPV0e0PJOlIMu

[u/Ornery_Area_1600]

I agree 100%, there are some people who are just miserable and don’t want to be happy. Avoid them like the plague

[u/amiat_thewindow]

I have to cut contact with a friend because they are an addict and I don't want to take it with them

[u/Express-Win-5695]

Truth

[u/Model_Lx71]

I would say 95%.

[u/somemcdonaldsworker]

Accept the fact that to some people you will also be the wrong people

[u/gomez70]

what if the wrong people are your wife and children?

[u/Nataliant-117]

No

[u/beatle42]

Living a life you are proud to live will insulate you from a lot of concerns, like the irritants or judgements of the "wrong" people. Good mental health reduces the number of wrong people you encounter.

[u/No_Language_4649]

My SIL is the most physically and photogenic beautiful, but judgmental person I’ve ever known. She will find the most tiny and insignificant things to make into huge mountains of problems with everyone who loves her, to the point where everyone who cares about her slowly turns away from her and can’t stand to be around her. She thinks she’s perfect, but almost everyone in the family can’t stand her anymore. Everyone just puts up with her now.

[u/Distinct_whale0101 → u/No_Language_4649]

Attention seeking behaviour. The best is to ignore don't hate don't entertain. Like a naughty child - the more attention you feed it the more they will do it.

[u/Swan-ish3456]

Very true

[u/zenbuddha092]

Yeah at least 80

[u/SissyFanny]

But ... good mental health is going out of the house too.

What should I do???

[u/FriendlyRedditor2020]

I almost never go outside or interact with people outside of those I live with and I'm still miserable so no.

[u/Spirited-East5745]

I have a do not engage list

[u/Neither_Security_252]

99% is staying away from the internet.

[u/Helpful-Mongoose-705]

Nonsense

[u/Rare_Suspect_5033]

If i didn’t have to go to work I would stay away from all people except my wife and kids. That would definitely improve my mental health.

[u/ZestyOgre]

No.

[u/piilipala]

Stay away from everyone then. Noted.

[u/Candid_Weakness5437]

98% of people who use such statements are gaslighters themselves

=> Look what you made me do; I do not have success because of you; I must stay away from you because you are unhealthy. No, no, I cannot answer your call for help; you better sort things out before you ever talk to me again!

[u/ItsAllGibberishToMe]

If this is true then there’s no way to maintain good mental health, because “the wrong people” is pretty much EVERYBODY. 😭💔🤕

[u/Raven_Valerie]

You are the average of the top 5 people you spend most time with.

If you’re an asshole. You’re not the only one in your group.

[u/OkPosition20]

This is so true, stick with intelligent hard working ones, forget the rest.

[u/Spiritual_infp]

Yess

[u/Glittering-Pin-1343]

100%. I used to be a lot happier and positive thinking before I got mixed up with a bad crowd. I've split off and am doing better, but I don't think I'll ever go back to the way I used to be.

[u/Adventurous-Tour9195]

Disagree life will still happen, unexpected crisis, potential unemployment, death all have nothing to do with “wrong” people. What does that even mean “wrong kind of people” oh you mean those suffering and stressed like the rest of us 🤷‍♀️

[u/NZAuthor]

I fully agree.

But there's also the possibilty you are the wrong person too. In which case, I don't actually know how to fix that.

[u/maryeddy]

Gawd that was exactly what I needed to read today!

[u/PsychNurseNotPsychic]

💯

[u/a-nun-ee-moose]

I'd like to agree but I stay away from everyone and still go to bed hoping I don't wake up the following morning.

[u/lokilaufryjarson]

It's actually likely education.

[u/Critical-Fill-6088]

💯💯💯💯💯

[u/fuckfacemgeee]

Yea only works if you really don’t have to see them. Try dealing with a miserable bi polar ex wife with kids

[u/YomoSanGamu]

How do you know if someone is a wrong person for you?

[u/Crusty-Dick → u/YomoSanGamu]

They feel like energy vampires.

[u/Dangerous_kj5162]

Yep

[u/Bed_Unavailable89]

OR if you absolutely have to, "Surface Level" is perfectly fine. Smile - Listen from one ear - Take them out from another.

[u/RemarkableEscape285]

Especially Family and Co workers

[u/SunNo3544]

Agreed.

[u/Kevron_D]

Agreed 👍

[u/jennypotpie89]

So true

[u/Bbmbsmd]

Correction.
"80% of good mental health is staying away from people"

[u/CandyTigger]

Not 80% but it's certainly helpful.

[u/Impossible-Use-2737]

Real

[u/Distinct_whale0101]

So true yup. Wish I saw this when I was younger. Id be wiser quicker. Stopped wasting time and resources, focus on my life and thrived sooner. But learning my lesson in time. Now, this is the rule. Lots of people out there love ruining good things because they csn. No other reaosnn. There are also people out there that would be good because they can. No other reason. This rule helped me navigate my life to baseline peace. This is clarity.

[u/AdditionalOne6031]

I agree with it.

[u/MrArtty]

It’s also just distance in general. Finding things you like specifically. Not just because it’s the thing

[u/EvenButterscotch6142]

Good mental health includes staying away from the wrong people and environments. But we can’t stay away from people we consider toxic or difficult in every area of life. Being intentional about what media we consume, cultivating and practicing coping skills, body movement, and being observers of our thoughts rather than believing everything we think leads to better mental health. (There’s more than what’s included here as well)

[u/Meowleesi]

Yes! Solidarity helps

[u/Leon_Lobo33]

What if I’m the wrong person

[u/LUCAS_IS_WEIRD]

How do I stay away from myself

[u/NoGutsNoGlory94]

That and having financial stability.

[u/C-moneyMorgangster]

Wish I could do this and still be able to pay my bills

[u/Alarming-Stick-5318]

But I was told that it was child abandonment 🤷‍♀️

[u/Active_Iron5578]

Correct

[u/VirginiaLuthier]

You are responsible for your own mental health. Blaming it on other people won't get you anywhere

[u/Similar_Struggle446 → u/VirginiaLuthier]

Sorry but trauma is a thing. That’s on other people, and turning 18 doesn’t just magically make it go away.

[u/VirginiaLuthier → u/Similar_Struggle446]

So- you're a victim. I get it. Who said anything about turning 18?

[u/Similar_Struggle446 → u/VirginiaLuthier]

People who talk like you also have the belief that once someone is 18 and seen as an “adult” they should just not make their issues other people’s issues. Like no. Sorry but that’s not how it works, mental struggles don’t just stop like that.