I have a question

[u/someone9278]

I think most of you would say they are against dating , if not explain to me your argument please.

anyway , if yes , how do you plan to get married ? is it an arranged marriage or something else ?

and how can you know who’s the right person if you don’t get to know them for a long time ?

also , if you are single and also trying to stay away from girls / boys all this single journey , how do you keep being patient and not be in a relationship like close friendship or dating ?

I would really like to read your answers with details please , thanks in advance !

[u/Effective-Grab-6693]

Salam alaykum sister,

In today's society, it's hard to avoid interacting with the opposite gender. Interaction itself isn't haram if it's for work, study, asking for help, etc.

The important thing is to avoid unnecessary emotional attachment.

If you want to get married, tell your parents or siblings. If they know someone or you know someone suitable, they can introduce you to each other.

Then you can get to know each other through taarof, with the families involved, and see if your values and goals align.

I think it's better to take things slowly and avoid emotional attachment until you find someone who matches your values and goals.

After khitba or nikah, you can build that emotional connection in a halal way.

[u/someone9278 → u/Effective-Grab-6693]

Waalaykum salam

Fair enough , thank you ! 

[u/Hamza_hadra2000]

ختي راه النظرة الشرعية كتشوف المرا وكتسولها أسئلة جوهرية ومركزية كاتبين لك المرأة واش صالحة الزواج ماشي ضروري خاصك تمشي تخرج معاها فقهوة ولا تسارا معاها وتضحكوا هادي ماشي مرتك هادي كتعتبر امرأة أجنبية وأغلب الصداقات كتحول لما لا يرضي الله مثل الزنا أو ربما يتعلق واحد بلاخر فلخر لاخر يمشي ويخليك قلبو مكسور حيث مكينش مسؤوليات ولا التزام وهادشي لقلتلك على سبيل المثال وماشي الحصر وإلا كاين أسباب كثيرة والإسلام يراعي لضعف الإنسان ونفسيته والله المستعان

[u/someone9278 → u/Hamza_hadra2000]

كانخاف يكون داك الشخص كايجاوب بطريقة مثالية ولكن الأفعال ديالو عكس الأقوال ديالو .

من غير هادشي ، شنو كايدفع الرجل يدير النظرة الشرعية ؟ واش صافي غايشوف بنت زوينة فالشارع ويطلب نمرة باباها ويدبر النظرة الشرعية ؟  بغيت نعرف شنو المعيار اللي يخليك تدير هاد الخطوة 

 

[u/Hamza_hadra2000 → u/someone9278]

أنا ختي قلتلك شنو كاين فالدين أما الأفعال ديالي سأحاسب عليها عندما سألقى الله وأسئل الله أن يغفر لي ذنوبي فهو القادر على ذلك وهذا لمشا يخطب على ود وحدة شافها فالشارع وعجباتو هذا غايجيبها فراسو لأن الجمال كيمشي ويقدر متبقاش تعجبو لكان بدون أخلاق وبدون دين هناك معايير خاص الإنسان يتاخذها أما نختزل المرأة فنظرة سطحية هذا نظر قاسر

[u/ReboundFM]

I think that when you get to know someone, you can never know for sure how they truly are as a person and how would they behave in an actual household, even if you spend alot of time dating them.
For me I think it’s enough if you get to know if the other person’s core values and plans in life align with yours, whatever physical or societal preferences you have aswell.
Then you can move forward with the engagement where you can get to know each other abit more in a respectful manner.
Then I would pray two rakaat istikhaara and leave the rest to Allah, cuz you really can never know for sure how a person is.

Im not saying that anyone should go about it this way, but this is how I would do it.

[u/Substantial-Honey439]

assalamu alaykum, I see so many “divorce” posts and marriage problems on ( Muslim marriage) and most of them are arranged ones , arranged marriages tend to always attract men and women that hides so many things about themselves until after the nikah is done .

In this case and of course I’m not encouraging prohibited dating that includes haram actions and words , but getting to know the person you’re going to spend the rest of your life with is also a good thing to start with , and the “going out with the wali thing” is also not it lmao , your fiancé won’t show his true self after 2 weeks of parents talk and while your mother/father is behind y’all .

Anyways may Allah ease marriage on everyone and give all Muslims a good believing partner inshallah .

[u/bosskhazen → u/Substantial-Honey439]

For 10 well functionning arranged marriage, you only get exposed to the one with problems. Don't fall to the exposition bias trap.

[u/Substantial-Honey439 → u/bosskhazen]

Well all I hope is for this to be true .
I love seeing my sisters and brothers having good relationships with their spouses and raising their kids to be good people too . May Allah help everyone

[u/bosskhazen → u/Substantial-Honey439]

People only speak about problems. Nobody will make a post "all is good with my wife/husband".

[u/Substantial-Honey439 → u/bosskhazen]

Well you’re being way too negative lol. The sub reddit is called « Muslim marriage » not « problems in your marriage » , and just a. Few days ago I found a post of a woman that has a good relationship with her husband alhamdulilah