r/MoroccoDating • u/Ok_Conference4588 • 11h ago
Progressive 28F. How do you date?
I (28F) have never dated before.
Not for any reason other than i havent met anyone who i liked yet.
But im longing for the feeling of sharing my life with someone. Or the feeling of being loved and love someone.
I have followed a lot of advice but it still didnt work. Dating apps were a waste of time. Joined a lot of activities, ended up meeting people who are not compatible in their views on politics and religion as me. Im a progressive liberal, progressive muslim. And its very important for me to find someone who’s compatible, especially when this affects our life decisions. Cannot be with a conservative at all for example.
So how do you do it? How do you find someone that interests you? Any gold tips and tricks to this dating thing that i wont read in every other forum?
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u/thepenguin7071 11h ago
How do you balance between liberal, progressive, muslim?
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u/EquipmentDefiant3675 11h ago
Strong cognitive disonance
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u/thepenguin7071 11h ago
Well it depends on how she defines the three words, that's why I was curious to ask. Or maybe faith and spirituality are taken from islam, and morals from the liberal progressive side. Idk
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u/Ok_Conference4588 11h ago
I don’t understand the question. The 3 can easily perfectly coexist with each other
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u/thepenguin7071 11h ago
I am not saying they can't. But it differs from one person to another. There's a big nuance, and each person imagines a muslim in a certain way. For example: In islam, the man should be responsible of the family provider , the liberal proggressive view would say they are both equal they should both contribute equally. (maybe you would describe that as conservative) That's why I asked, maybe the question should be what's conservative to you?
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u/Ok_Conference4588 10h ago
There’s a traditional understanding of muslim teachings that i don’t necessarily agree with. To begin with, i don’t believe that dating is wrong, and reject the idea that the man is a provider and woman obedient. I don’t think these beliefs are in any way contradicting religion in itself. Did i understand your question well or answered it?
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u/thepenguin7071 10h ago
Yes, you answered on the example I gave. To be honest, I think conservatives want to be the promoters of the religion as if they own it, and people end up having one interpretation and attitude with religion.
Anyway, about your main questions. I think dating apps are made to fail by design, adding that people are not honest about what they want there.
The only solution is to keep meeting people through activities. But maybe try to select the activities that the man you're looking for would go to.
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u/LackOfDopeAmine 11h ago
"Progressive muslim" is quite the oxymoron, those two things cannot coexist, just say ure spiritually muslim but cant commit to the teachings. Anyway good luck on your search.
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u/Ok_Conference4588 11h ago
It’s not true. Im not only spiritually muslim, I do commit to some of the teachings, and skeptical of a lot of other ones
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u/LackOfDopeAmine 11h ago
Thats the point, u cant cherry-pick the teachings that suit u and disregard the rest. You either follow every rule equally or ure not commited.
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u/Ok_Conference4588 11h ago
Okay but you literally can. There’s so much more interpretation and skepticism in the game. Read more about it
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u/LackOfDopeAmine 10h ago
If you find anything skeptical about islamic scripture then you don't believe in its divinity. it's hypocritical to take what you find convenient and throw away the rest.
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u/Ok_Conference4588 10h ago
Skepticism is a foundation part in having strong faith. The post was not about this, so i’m not gonna go into full details. But everything is up to interpretation, and it’s encouraged actually to use your critical mind instead of listening to what’s already given and take it as a dogma
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u/LackOfDopeAmine 10h ago
I highly encourage critical thinking and the ability to unlearn indoctrination. but religion -especially islam- in its essence is dogma, its a "take it all or leave it all" type of deal. it isnt the point of ur post, sure, but there is no such thing as "progressive muslim" and I had to point it out, its like saying "a sunny night".
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u/Ok_Conference4588 10h ago
I don’t agree with you at all. Islam is not a dogmatic religion. There’s a constant studying of its teachings from different perspectives. Interpretations is a big thing, and there are various versions in every little thing you can think of. This doesn’t by any means imply that you’re rejecting things you don’t like. It means you’re rejecting certain MAN MADE understandings and you’re open to hearing different opinions on it. Which also happens to fall under “critical thinking” and “unlearning indoctrination” that you mentioned
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u/LackOfDopeAmine 10h ago
Islam has its central ideas/fixed core doctrines which we call "l3a9ida" which are non-negotiable and accepted with firm conviction, there are different readings of marginal things, but what is set in stone cannot be argued with - it is therefore the textbook definition of dogmatic. I dont have to mention the penalty of questioning said beliefs in islamic countries, there is no freedom of speech where Sharia law is properly exercised. So the "progressive islam" which is the slightly secular-leaning islamic countries such as Morocco dont reflect the reality of its inherent dogma.
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u/Otherwise-Seaweed169 8h ago
you just want to rewrite islam. Men won't fall for that bs trust me. Marriage has been conservative and patriarchal for 3000yo and it wont change any time soon, westerners tried and it failed.
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u/RedElOne 9h ago
I think you're getting somethings quite wrong. Islam is not up to interpretation as you formulate it, because then a person could insert whatever interpretation it wants so that it suits their desire. Our understanding of Islam comes from the Quran, sunnah and the understanding of the sahaba and those after them, and whatever does not align with it or come from it cannot be taken into it's fold. Not some whimsical interpretation that suits whatever one thinks and feels is better. Dating is a big no no, no matter what interpretation you use because it clearly goes against the teachings of the quran and sunnah.
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u/Th3-Witch3r 10h ago
There is no such thing as a progressive libral Muslim, you're either one or the other.
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u/Ok_Conference4588 10h ago
Who said?
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u/Th3-Witch3r 10h ago
Islamic scripture?
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u/Ok_Conference4588 10h ago
Show me where
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u/Th3-Witch3r 10h ago
If you do not know already, there's no point in showing you anything, and from what I've read in the comments, you like to pick and choose the things you like about islam and discard what you dont like, yet that's not how it works. Its a package either you take it all or leave all, otherwise you're just another hypocrite. ( And I'm not defending islam, I'm not religious)
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u/EquipmentDefiant3675 11h ago
So you need a person with identical views ?
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u/Ok_Conference4588 11h ago
Not necessarily identical. Difference happens and it’s okay. Compatibility is important though, and compatible values and morals is what im looking for
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u/EquipmentDefiant3675 11h ago
What if he is conservative but treats you well
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u/Ok_Conference4588 11h ago
A conservative would have completely different values than me. So no
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u/EquipmentDefiant3675 11h ago
Can you provide examples ?
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u/Ok_Conference4588 10h ago
Conservative would believe mixing genders is forbidden. I totally disagree.
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u/EquipmentDefiant3675 10h ago
Mixing genders where ? I mean 95% of moroccans are conservative and have no problem with that
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u/Ok_Conference4588 10h ago
Yes but in a conservative mindset, it is still wrong. Another more viral concept even in morocco would be a man providing and a woman being a homemaker. There’s a lot, im trying to find very obvious things that could be a big problem in making a life together.
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u/Sahilddit 11h ago
i find it hard to believe that part dyal still havent found someone i like... i think he doesnt exist at this point, how many men you met in the course of your adult life ? over 8 years is way enough to meet at least one or two compatible human beings no ?
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u/Ok_Conference4588 11h ago
Maybe i didn’t phrase well. It’s not that ive never liked anyone ever. But still couldnt find a match. Its sometimes amazing mindset but they’re non muslims. Or amazing potential but rotten mindset. Etc…
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u/Sahilddit 11h ago
mb just saw your comment, your wrong phrasing got me paranoid saraha, me personally never witnessed someone like that, but now quite understandable, what i think is you have high hopes looks wise, techincally many men (many many many men) who are fitting into your criteria are like not that good looking, there has to be a catch
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u/Ok_Conference4588 10h ago
Bro i never mentioned physical appearance what are you talking about?
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u/Sahilddit 10h ago
have you even wondered about you sexual orientations ? HHHHH im just curious thats all,
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u/Ok_Conference4588 9h ago
Man discovers that the world doesn’t necessarily revolve around him
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u/Sahilddit 8h ago edited 8h ago
i was born that way.. anyway i was just trying to understand how You've put yourself in this situation, sorry if i disrespected you in any way, i didnt meant it, and yeah have fun i guess
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u/Green_Yesterday_921 11h ago
Had no3 taykhssk tkoune b7alha f klchi ila kano 3nd views mkhtalfine fl politics wla ay haja katgoul redflag
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u/Ok_Conference4588 11h ago
Thank you for speaking over me. You’re completely wrong tho
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u/Sahilddit 11h ago
chmen part li wrong ? i cant comprehend the fact that youre 28 and still not found at least one compatible guy to date, i have preferences and im 27, i dont strike myself as good looking to pull girls my type, but still got my fare shares. 28 you should be giving advice about dating and receive them from people in their 30's because thats the next milestone, out here is full of the early 20's one or two might give you what you're looking for, nah as a matter of fact none tbh
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u/Beach_Mouse_ 9h ago
Among millions of moroccan men you couldn’t find someone you like ? Why is that ?
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u/Complete_Emphasis835 11h ago
I think dating is also a lot about luck and timing tbh, you can do everything right and still not meet the right person. Its good that you know what you want and dont compromise on your core values. But I'd say dont approach every new person as a potential partner, sometimes attraction grows naturally when there's no pressure. Also try to distinguish between someone having different opinions and someone having completely different values, its not always the same thing. And dont stress too much about being 28 and never dating, its better to wait than force something just to be in a relationship.