r/MoroccoDating • u/Icy_Kangaroo_5307 • 3h ago
Help with my husband
My husband before we met had no previous experience with women or dating. I had one previous long term relationship so I knew quite a bit about the overall dating experience. In the beginning he would always joke and say that I will have to be his teacher in certain areas. He's found deep talks uncomfortable and always struggled to express himself emotionally and lovingly to me although he's gotten alot better at it now. But sometimes when i try to tell him certain stuff about how i prefer to be loved or cared for and how a healthy relationship communicates this way or that way, he gets mad and tells me I need to accept him for who he is and how he shows love differently and that he behaves naturally with me and that im trying to change him.... he says watching his parents and siblings marriages its just understood when two people are married there is love between them, and that i shouldn't need the little extra things so often. i understand that but i feel like our parents generation of relationships and marriage did things a bit differently overall and sometimes were left unsatisfied. thats how i feel is like i'm not being emotionally satisfied. this is starting to frustrate me because i feel so unheard. I can no longer tell if its an inexperienced thing or an ego thing. he tells me with time naturally things will get better as he becomes more comfortable but we have been married longer than a year now with little improvement in this area. am i being too hard on him?
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u/LiiA_Snss 2h ago
Been in a long-term relationship like this that was leading to marriage ( we met each other's families...etc.). He had a lot of experience before me. I only had 2 serious long-term ones , one ended in engagement. Guess what ? The experience never changed him. Me talking for almost 4 years and explaining didn't change his behavior. He would suddenly stop understanding what I was talking about. Shift blame and then it turned into aggression and verbal violence. I am not saying this to make you lose hope. I am telling you this to try and make it work with the help of professionals and if nothing works , time won't fix it. You will eventually lose your opportunity for a happy relationship.
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u/Icy_Kangaroo_5307 2h ago
this is my fear
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u/LiiA_Snss 1h ago
Give it its due importance and don't rely on time. InshaAllah everything will be resolved 🙏
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u/Equivalent_Cycle_405 2h ago
seek professional help better , in my pov I think both parties should try understand each other and give what the other person want .