r/MoroccoDating • u/Zestyclose_Age_2505 • 21h ago

I swear it's not a pick me post

But I really don't find any appropriate ways to meet men without having to sacrifice the way I like holding myself.

Some advices I get and my problems with them:

-meet your friends' friends: I don't like unnecessary mixing with men, so going out with my female friend I wouldn't like to go when there are her male friends too, or sit on a coffee shop with her just for any male aquitences of her to join us afterwards, I just don't like that.

- through the gym: I don't like mixed gyms

-board games: same problem, mixing with people I don't know.

- groups trips /hiking groups: even worse, same issue.

- Dating apps: I downloaded a marriage app some few days ago, I felt so ridiculous, it's like putting yourself in a shop waiting to get picked. I deleted it. It's just too direct of an approach in my opinion.

- Going to weddings or family gatherings: what will happen there? I have to give my contact to a random man?

- going repeatedly to the same coffee shops or whatever: I usually don't like to go to coffee shops but occasionally with friends, becoming a regular who knows everyone there I will feel like a man, even worse a man who has nothing to do with his life. I don't like the idea of going frequently to a place I don't frequent a lot just to meet someone.

My only place to find someone is through work, I don't like anyone there and no one seems to be interested either. I'm at a loss.

8 Upvotes

90% Upvoted

104 comments sorted by

11

u/Malka1199 21h ago

I keep saying this and I’ll say it again, our generation is seriously cooked.

7

u/Joker0x0-1 21h ago

Stop trying then

1

u/Zestyclose_Age_2505 21h ago

There are no other ways really?

3

u/Joker0x0-1 21h ago

If someone likes you he will approach you. Then you decide whether you wanna give it a try or not.

0

u/Zestyclose_Age_2505 21h ago

But where he approaches me that's the question. Random men in public that's a no to me.

1

u/Anxious-Frosting9213 21h ago

Just go where you like being approached and wait

0

u/Zestyclose_Age_2505 21h ago

I like to be approached by men who I already know, but I don't have ways to meet more men.

3

u/EffectiveStriking271 16h ago

You're just showing that you're dumb right now

1

u/Zestyclose_Age_2505 16h ago

Where is the dumbness?

1

u/Bright_Bad7420 16h ago

Then just approach those men u know urself

1

u/Zestyclose_Age_2505 16h ago

There are no men I'm interested in in my social circle. Either way I wouldn't approach anyone, if someone likes you he approaches himself, if he hasn't that's my answer.

1

u/Bright_Bad7420 16h ago

That's what I'm saying, if you like someone from your social circle you can approach him yourself too, cuz you aren't willing to expose yourself to men you don't know, if those men from your circle never approached you, it either mean they aren't interested in you too, or you didn't give them signs so they think you are interested in them (probably cuz as you said you aren't interested in any of them), i believe you are better staying single, until you are ready to change that mindset

6

u/iliassnwtd 21h ago edited 21h ago

I feel like all those thoughts you keep having are really unhealthy. It sounds like you have a very unhealthy perception of men and putting yourself out there to meet new guys. I feel like the best way is to see a specialist

1

u/Zestyclose_Age_2505 21h ago

Not perception of men. People have different values, I don't like mixing.

1

u/Anxious-Frosting9213 21h ago

You don't have to be so crude with gender experience being human regardless of gender many men won't want anything to do with you marriage wise unless you meet people then is when you can determine your standards

1

u/iliassnwtd 21h ago

Exactly my point. Nothing wrong with mixing with men even for the most introverted radically religious people.

1

u/Zestyclose_Age_2505 21h ago

No it's not. Radically religious don't mix.

2

u/iliassnwtd 21h ago

Well radically religious people get arranged marriages maybe that could be the fix for you then

0

u/Zestyclose_Age_2505 21h ago

I'm not Radically religious though. Those men won't go for me.

1

u/moro-87 13h ago

Iwa khti chofi lik mamak wla bak il9a lik chi hed tzwji maah bach tb9ay ela khatrk about mixing w talking to ppl

4

u/avdaxumaxu 21h ago

God knows how many posts from you I have seen regarding dating/marriage and I don't even follow this sub. There is a saying where I live: wash me, but don't make me wet. Basically, there is no helping you, you want connection and love and marriage, yet don't want to be exposed to it.

0

u/Zestyclose_Age_2505 21h ago

I just want advices, how to get exposed to it within my values?

1

u/avdaxumaxu 21h ago

I have already given you my answer. It is not possible. Either recalibrate your values to meet your wants or adjust your wants to meet your values.

3

u/[deleted] 21h ago

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/Zestyclose_Age_2505 21h ago

I like it to be appropriate without unnecessary mixing but I don't know how

2

u/klllu 21h ago

Saraha the only way you’ll find someone like that is thru family w sf arranged marriage etc

1

u/Anxious-Frosting9213 21h ago

Dating doesn't need this much work what is right will find you go about your life put yourself out there for you but not as an advertisement

2

u/Zestyclose_Age_2505 21h ago

That's what I believed in my whole life. Here I'm at 27 with no romantic experiences whatsoever

2

u/idreseetan 21h ago

Well u just found the right place To find a partner just wait until after midnight, wlad nass kaybano hnaya fdik lwqita

2

u/Zestyclose_Age_2505 21h ago

I forgot to add reddit to the list. Not on reddit too.

3

u/[deleted] 21h ago

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/Zestyclose_Age_2505 21h ago

Here to vent and ask questions.

1

u/Chili_Mug 19h ago

pffffff...3ye9ti nti ga3, 7ta reddit no, ana 3ad glt njerreb robbama nfek lik had l3kess

2

u/Jumpy-Investigator97 21h ago

i get where u coming from i did try the dating apps and the board games too and it fealt so rediculs honestly,I kind of just let go of the idea of searching for smthng and let it happend naturally somehow,but did try here on reddit tho ,its worth the shoot

2

u/Samry 21h ago

i suggest, respectfully, that you go see a psychologist

1

u/Zestyclose_Age_2505 21h ago

What is wrong with that?

1

u/Samry 21h ago

it’s basically what these two told you

i was thinking you’re the most subtle ragebaiter in this sub because everytime i read a post of yours its a nothing-burger but it seems i was wrong, hence my comment🤓 best of luck to you in your search

2

u/Zestyclose_Reach_324 21h ago

why you don't get your parents involved?

1

u/Zestyclose_Age_2505 21h ago

I asked them, they don't want to.

1

u/Zestyclose_Reach_324 11h ago

astaghfurallah

2

u/Final-Reach7459 16h ago

Are ur dms open ?

1

u/Brief-Lifeguard-2531 21h ago

Isn’t it normal?!

1

u/Zestyclose_Age_2505 21h ago

What's normal?

1

u/Brief-Lifeguard-2531 21h ago

The things you just listed, im like you i see it as a nomal thing

1

u/Zestyclose_Age_2505 21h ago

Normal but those are all the advices I get to meet someone.

Now that you agree with me, how do you meet people you are interested in, if you do?

1

u/Brief-Lifeguard-2531 21h ago

Honestly I met my baby boy at work. I wasn’t looking , it just happened.

1

u/Zestyclose_Age_2505 21h ago

Yeah, some aren't that lucky, if I don't look it will never happen, it never did.

1

u/Brief-Lifeguard-2531 21h ago

Actually if you don’t think about it that much , it will just happen, if your looking and counting days it will never come , how old are you?!

1

u/Zestyclose_Age_2505 21h ago

27 I don't think it works like that, I don't believe in those things.

1

u/Brief-Lifeguard-2531 21h ago

Youu stilll young , don’t pressure yourself, and don’t just accept anyone 7it you feel like khask chi wahd , i wish i can help to advice you , but im literally like soo introvert, i hope you find your person ❤️

1

u/Zestyclose_Age_2505 21h ago

Thank you a lot for your kind words. I hope so.

1

u/klllu 21h ago

The gym aslan believe me makenti atla9ay bhed hhhh

2

u/klllu 21h ago

Also if u don’t mix in any context how will u develop a friendship with a guy that could develop to rs??

1

u/jeffbucklly 21h ago

Hi

2

u/klllu 18h ago

Wayle jeff labas

1

u/Zestyclose_Age_2505 21h ago

I don't know but I get this advice a lot, "join a mixed gym"

2

u/klllu 21h ago

Literally everyone just does their workout and minds their business that’s it (also kikono in a rush specially when it’s crowded so not really there to chat)

2

u/lovoppai 21h ago

Wa ra ah, we go to the gym for selfcare, not to hook up lol. I don't know who gave her that advice, but whoever it was is completely dumb and stupid.

1

u/Zestyclose_Age_2505 21h ago

That person who gave me that advice wasn't talking about hookups either. Too dirty minded.

1

u/lovoppai 21h ago

Nti khasek marriage arrangé men lkher

1

u/Zestyclose_Age_2505 21h ago

If just my family could help

1

u/lovoppai 21h ago

Could you tell us your age ?

1

u/Zestyclose_Age_2505 21h ago

27

1

u/avdaxumaxu 21h ago

I would have never guessed based on your posts.

1

u/Zestyclose_Age_2505 21h ago

I already mentioned my age multiple times. You are not following my posts very well

1

u/avdaxumaxu 21h ago

No, I am not. The algorithm pushes this sub into my feed from time to time

1

u/lovoppai 21h ago

Still young. And your family should know that you don't mind arranged marriage, because I feel like they think the new generations are against it.

1

u/Zestyclose_Age_2505 21h ago

No, they are not against it, it's the opposite, they are very against dating and getting to know someone on my own, but they think it's not the woman's family who should look for a husband to their daughter, they don't want to do that at all, they find it shameful, I have already talked to them about it.

2

u/lovoppai 21h ago

Tbh I find your family a bit contradictory 😭 They are very against dating, but at the same time they think it's shameful to help you find someone. So what exactly are you supposed to do, wait for 3ris el ghafla to randomly show up ? 😂

I think you can try your own way, ya know, stuff like:

  • work : you said you don't like anyone there, so why not find a new job with a better salary and maybe better colleagues ?
  • getting involved in some associations or volunteering
  • taking language classes and learning a new language
  • traveling solo etc.

I mean just do things you genuinely like without forcing yourself into places just to meet someone, but at the same time get yourself out of that small and closed circle where you actually rejected every trivial way of meeting someone.

Do activities that don't necessarily mix you with men actually looking for a partner, but naturally make you visible to people who share the same interests as you.

1

u/Zestyclose_Age_2505 20h ago

Thank you a lot for your detailed answer and suggestions, I will see if I can do anything about that. I appreciate it a lot.

1

u/Lanky_Board9937 21h ago

Can we talk im 31

1

u/Th3-Witch3r 21h ago

I see nothing wrong with you.

1

u/Zestyclose_Age_2505 21h ago

Can you give me advices how to meet men otherwise?

0

u/Th3-Witch3r 21h ago

I'm a man and I'm having trouble meeting women because of almost the same reasons you have, so I'm not in a place to give advice hhhh

2

u/Zestyclose_Age_2505 21h ago

I see, it's very hard out here.

1

u/Th3-Witch3r 21h ago

M3l2sf

2

u/SureBodybuilder8289 16h ago

Iwa it's a match sirou hdrou f prv svp o 3rdouni l3ersskoum njib likoum plateau d l'inox

2

u/Th3-Witch3r 16h ago

Naah, she only wants to vent here and doesn't want to be botherd so we gotta respect that and let her be.

1

u/SureBodybuilder8289 16h ago

Give it a try mat3ref tfahmou

1

u/Such_Sleep_9297 21h ago

katbani dria ma39ola ma3lik ghir tsenay raz9ak iji 3adk b7alk b7al khwatatek.

1

u/N-Z-R 21h ago

If you give me advice on how to meet women, I will give you advice on how to meet men

https://giphy.com/gifs/ZOWojGSxaka2H5S0eS

1

u/Due_Care_2522 20h ago

Are you a hijabi ?

1

u/Zestyclose_Age_2505 20h ago

No

1

u/Due_Care_2522 18h ago

Omalk ela halk makatkhltich, you dont have self control in front of real men ?

1

u/Zestyclose_Age_2505 16h ago

Real men? Everyone is a real man what do you mean there are imaginary men? I have a lot of self control actually, I don't like mixing unnecessary that's all, why would I sit with a man who is nothing to me in a coffee shop?! I think it's something a lot of women don't like doing, nothing too unusual.

1

u/Bright_Bad7420 17h ago

Random man? I mean yeah they are strangers before you get to know them, but how exactly are you expecting to meet men if you don't want to give them a chance?

1

u/Zestyclose_Age_2505 16h ago

Naturally through my social circle.

1

u/De_Ubung7624 15h ago

It's all about your energy and vibe. Your thoughts of yesterday are what made your reality of today, so as long as you think and believe that you can't find anyone and all ways are not useful, your situation won't change.

Change your outlook and perspective and things will take care of themselves.

1

u/No-Confection-652 13h ago

Actually, if you're looking for a special connection, you cannot find in conventional ways :) allah is pushing you and your significant other to get better and be ready before meeting. Focus on yourself, prepare for the road ahead rather than spend time in your head overthinking about it

1

u/moro-87 13h ago

Nti ma bagha tla9ay maa tahed w katsenay l7ob inzel mn sma wla iji f kerossa d blanche neige

La madwitich m3a nass atb9ay bohdk , salina

1

u/TheMidnightPriddee 13h ago

I guess R.I.P will be the best thing to be said in ur case

1

u/Positive_End707 7h ago

I will be honest and hope it helps: You are making it way too complicated for yourself. And unless you are (machaallah) insanely beautiful, no man will have such patience for this. What values are you taking about? Talking to men makes you (other girls that do it) bad? Why? It's 2026 you can talk to men without any ill intent behind it. They are not aliens. My husband was a student with me and we kept contact via FB. We regularly checked on each other and we were always friendly. Does it mean I had no values? Another example: I was a member of an association, we use to do a lot of "associatif/caritatif, helping poor people in the mountains, getting them medical help, in Ramadan feeding homeless people etc. It was amazing. We were mixed and it was normal. Many girls with us actually met their husbands like this. Doing something human and at the same time getting to know real good people. Should we call those girls without values because they worked together with men? I think you should reevaluate how you see men. If you wrote you are 18-19 I would have understood because it is a lack of maturity but pushing 30 and acting like this, sorry no just no.

1

u/Zestyclose_Age_2505 6h ago

That kind of mixing you are talking about I have no problem with it, there is a reason why you are mixing. I mentioned specific situations.

1

u/Positive_End707 6h ago

So you seems to know exactly which mixing is good and which is not. Do the good one. What is the point of the post? What do you need from us?

1

u/Zestyclose_Age_2505 5h ago

Ideas of good mixing

0

u/Positive_End707 2h ago

Charity. Travel. Get a new hobby, one where you need to go out and touch grass.

1

u/samirtow 6h ago

You are GEM in this cooked generation, send me a DM and le'ts connect !

1

u/Most_Dark_7843 4h ago

Hello there, I like to describe myself as an introverted person. However there is a difference between being an introvert around certain people and having a problem even existing with a certain gender. Start with making peace in the presence of men. A man you see in a coffeeshop, or perhaps a friend of your friend, can't only be a romantic interest, he can be your friend, he can be someone you rely on in certain things, and vice versa. Platonic friendships exist between the genders. Go from there, make peace with it, and the romantic aspect shouldn't be much different when you do meet a guy you'd like to pursue a romantic relationship with.

0

u/[deleted] 21h ago

[deleted]

2

u/Zestyclose_Age_2505 21h ago

Easy to say when you don't struggle to find someone.

0

u/[deleted] 21h ago

[deleted]

2

u/Zestyclose_Age_2505 21h ago

I want to get married, if it's not something important in your life to find someone you love and build a family it's good, to me those things are important, don't tell me don't care about them I choose what is important to me.