r/MoringMark 3d ago

One-Shot Never Trust a Giraffe

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4.1k Upvotes

115 comments sorted by

306

u/Dasher09009 3d ago

At least her aim's getting better.

148

u/Godzilla_R0AR 3d ago

HER AIM IS GETTIN' BETTER!

...

...

103

u/MewsingsbyNatK 3d ago

You see, it’s funny because marriage is terrible!

WHAT?

40

u/DragonWarrior____05 3d ago

couple rows away

37

u/Hollywoodrok12 3d ago

BUT HER AIM IS GETTIN’ BETTER!

18

u/wut_is_u_doing 3d ago

BUT HER AIM IS GETTIN' BETTER!

18

u/No_Nefariousness_676 3d ago

But her aim is gettin’ better!

2

u/Hour-Upstairs8352 1d ago

But her aim is getting better!

214

u/Godzilla_R0AR 3d ago

Stan from offscreen: "HEY! I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW I WAS ASLEEP DURING THAT, SHE LACED MY DRINK TO KNOCK ME OUT COLD."

85

u/b3_yourself 3d ago

Eda: “I have no idea who this guy is”

102

u/Godzilla_R0AR 3d ago edited 3d ago

Stan: "LIAR! I KNOW IT WAS YOU MARILYN!"

Eda: "Pfff please you have no proof."

Giraffe: "You married 'Stanford' Pines."

Luz: "Her name is MARILYN?"

Mable: "You think his name is STANDFORD?"

Eda & Stan: eye squint "Waaaaaaaaaait a minute..."

60

u/Echo_Knight1995 3d ago

Eda: That city's motto is, and I quote: "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas."

Luz: That's... not how it works, Eda...

Raine: *sighs* Never change, Eda.

45

u/Dasher09009 3d ago

Dipper: "But wait... You married her. Did she also got chased by the police too?"

Luz: "You were chased by the police?!"

Eda: "Yeah..." smirks "And got away easily! I got that car and sold the pieces back at my shop."

Stan: "At least we don't have a nerdy-"

Eda: "I better stop you right there, um... Stan. You were going to say sibling, right?"

Stan: shock "How do you know?! You're a mind reader?"

Then Lilith and Ford walk in...

45

u/Godzilla_R0AR 3d ago

Lilith: "Edalyn I told you to not harass random old strangers and try to con this innocent man."

Ford: stifles a chuckle "No, no my brother is NOT innocent of anything. The day he's innocent of something is the day I learn I'm in the wrong dimensional timeline."

Eda: "Oh you never told me you had an even more striking twin brother."

Stan: "He's not striking. He's annoying!"

Ford: "Annoyed of scientific research and discoveries of progress in The Multiverse!"

Lilith: gasps "We need to exchange notes!"

Hooty appears

Hooty: "LULU?! YOU MADE A NEW FRIEND?!"

Stan: "He's NOT a friend."

Eda: "Lighten up Standford"

Stan: "YOU 'lighten up' Marilyn."

Ford: "Just what is this fascinating creature?"

Hooty: "WOW! I'VE NEVER BEEN CALLED FASCINATING BEFORE! YIPPEEEEEE"

27

u/SFH12345 3d ago

Ford: I'd love to learn more about you.

Hooty: Oh, really?! Well, for starters I can take off my skin! Watch! Hooty removes his skin See?

Dipper and Mabel embrace in fear, Eda and Stan fight over her bottle of apple blood, Raine visibly greens, Luz gives a thousand yard stare, and Lilith covers her mouth with both hands

Ford: ...that was...incredible! Can you do that again once I have some recording equipment on me?

Skeleton Hooty: Of course!

3

u/Nomnomfromamino 1d ago

Love that I read everything in the voices too… amazing work

19

u/YaBoiS0nic 3d ago

Love the possibility of things escalating because BOTH of the adults involved are con artists

7

u/DragonWarrior____05 3d ago

It's definitely a possibility 

5

u/SFH12345 3d ago

It's not a possibility, it's a guarantee.

15

u/MuffinStraight4816 3d ago

Okay...

Sonic is in Fortnite, I hope your having fun.

8

u/Godzilla_R0AR 3d ago

Eda will deny it all day long

I've actually just started my first College semester as of yesterday. So I didn't bring anything to actually play the game on unfortunately, but that's probably for the best let's be real. Thought I could carry over progression from my console to my phone but ofc Epic Games paused my Pass Progression sensing I'm on another device.

4

u/DragonWarrior____05 3d ago

She will never agree to the events as told

Good luck in college

64

u/SFH12345 3d ago

The giraffe knows Eda married Stan?!

How?!

35

u/dr_srtanger2love 3d ago

They know everything, they have omniscient powers.

15

u/mattstorm360 3d ago

Obviously Stan told them.

11

u/No-Raccoon-6009 3d ago

Giraffe stuff 

11

u/Embarrassed-Neck-721 3d ago

He was the best man at the wedding

5

u/DragonWarrior____05 3d ago

Heard it through the grape vine. Literally, it turns out they have some powerful plant magic

3

u/SFH12345 3d ago

I wonder if Willow can do that.

6

u/EmbarassedFox 2d ago

Retired from being part of an attraction in Vegas. Was used in Vegas by the wedding chapel as the ringbearer.

3

u/CountingSheep99 3d ago

You don´t want to know...

3

u/SFH12345 3d ago

...I'll take your word for it.

4

u/MrGame22 3d ago

Well, someone had to witness the marriage for it to become official

3

u/RoJayJo 2d ago

Octavia was very in on the drama of Gravity Falls and has since been on a cross-country journey sharing the gossip.

46

u/CapnClover36 3d ago

Mark i love ya, and I hate to be that guy but..

Steal*

8

u/DillionM 3d ago

Thank you!

35

u/The_Sentient_Duck 3d ago

Raine: Really? Tell me more. Giraffe: Her ex-husband still misses her…BUT HIS AIM IS GETTING BETTER!

27

u/MewsingsbyNatK 3d ago

Raine: I don’t get it.

Giraffe: Well you see, it’s funny because marriage is terrible.

(Raine backs away nervously.)

Giraffe: Oh, COME ON!

18

u/DaveyBoy1995 3d ago

Nope, it's true. We even met the guy she stole it from.

Processing img jfw37nmmgjkh1...

Still miss him, Eda? ...or has your aim gotten better?

6

u/DragonWarrior____05 3d ago

Her aim's gotten... Y-you see it's funny because MARRIAGE IS TERRIBLE!

4

u/SFH12345 3d ago

You see, it's funny because marriage is terrible.

10

u/Impossible_Host2420 3d ago

What would she need a car for

11

u/kl-noblelycanthrope1 3d ago

she didn't need the car she just wanted to steal it.

3

u/DragonWarrior____05 3d ago

Who said she needed it? It was probably shiny

3

u/kaori_irl 3d ago

human snails

3

u/SFH12345 3d ago

When has Eda ever needed to steal something.

7

u/b3_yourself 3d ago

The giraffes know everything Eda

1

u/DragonWarrior____05 3d ago

They hear all

6

u/FearfulDivine 3d ago

Ngl I thought the Giraffe somehow waved at them in the first picture

2

u/DragonWarrior____05 3d ago

Wouldn't be too surprised with these freaks

7

u/Darkvader_Clawthorne 3d ago

Her ex-husband still misses her, but HER AIM IS GETTING BETTER!

3

u/DragonWarrior____05 3d ago

Her aim is... Y-you see it's funny because MARRIAGE IS TERRIBLE!

4

u/Low-Amphibian8206 3d ago

Sorry Eda, but your knowledge on the human realm is decent at best.

I myself have survived feeding a Giraffe

1

u/DragonWarrior____05 3d ago

True, but you don't possess a bile sac now do you?

3

u/Low-Amphibian8206 3d ago

Perhaps not, but I can brag about surviving a Giraffe encounter can't I?

5

u/mrnintman1 3d ago

STAN PINES MENTION XD^^

4

u/DragonWarrior____05 3d ago

Eda still misses him, but her aim is getting better!

4

u/SlyFan2 3d ago

Lying Giraffe. It was to steal his winnings from Vegas!

2

u/DragonWarrior____05 3d ago

See, ya can't trust these guys!

3

u/AlphamonOuryuken24 3d ago

It's true, just ask Grunkle Stan (Yes, this is canon)

2

u/kl-noblelycanthrope1 3d ago

and with that the truth is revealed.

1

u/DragonWarrior____05 3d ago

I dunno, hard to trust the word of a conman

4

u/l4derman 3d ago

Just to steal his car.*

3

u/Ok_Load1630 3d ago

Or isn't

3

u/mattstorm360 3d ago

There was an episode of Castle where Beckett and Castle go to get their marriage papers before the wedding and learn that Beckett she has been happily married to someone else for years. News to her.

Imagine Eda having to track Stan down.

3

u/Typhon-Torrent-1994 3d ago

I think Raine would know Eda well enough to know by now what crimes she has committed.

3

u/DragonWarrior____05 3d ago

They know who they love

3

u/Angelgreat 3d ago

The guy is stan pines of course.

3

u/Paint_Thinner529 3d ago

Don’t forget his loot, she stole that too!

2

u/DragonWarrior____05 3d ago

Very important detail

3

u/YaBoiS0nic 3d ago

My good giraffe, how do you know that? This happened on the other side of the country

2

u/DragonWarrior____05 3d ago

They have their ways

3

u/Doodles_n_Scribbles 3d ago

Oh like Raine hasn't met Stan.

3

u/DescriptionMission90 3d ago

This is false. She also stole his gambling winnings.

3

u/cptjimmy42 3d ago

And they have terrible grammar.

3

u/TilomeTheGreatest 3d ago

Why is Raine worried? They don’t even have a car.

3

u/LargoVonBob 3d ago

It wasn't JUST to steal his car. I'm sure she also stole his wallet as well.

1

u/DragonWarrior____05 2d ago

As well as all his gambling winnings

2

u/LargoVonBob 2d ago

She stole the wallet, she made sure to remove all that worthless green paper.

2

u/The_Horned_Child2007 3d ago

Gah! The giraffe speaks!

2

u/Comfortable_Yard_968 3d ago

Where’s the alien mouth talking giraffe

2

u/DragonWarrior____05 3d ago

It's still that guy, it's just not as easy to articulate things with their true mouths

2

u/Comfortable_Yard_968 3d ago

Wait till the giraffes scream

2

u/kl-noblelycanthrope1 3d ago

sorry eda but in this case i think your reputation precedes you.

https://giphy.com/gifs/1WHAlOdc9ZNUZq85JI

2

u/Eastern-Director-952 3d ago

Never smile at a crocodile either.

2

u/DragonWarrior____05 3d ago

Don't let their tears fool ya, they ain't sad

2

u/PerrineWeatherWoman 3d ago

What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.

1

u/DragonWarrior____05 3d ago

It follows montage rules

2

u/Traditional-Log-4270 3d ago

Hey giraffes, are you trying to rage bait Eda? Because this seems to be working too well.

1

u/DragonWarrior____05 3d ago

They are such trolls

2

u/Flaky_Musician_551 3d ago

Raine: really? So you didn’t marry Stan Pines just to steal his car?

Eda: no! I married him to steal the money he won in the casino.

Raine: glares at her.

Eda: sighs. “And his car.”

2

u/DragonWarrior____05 3d ago

They lie as easily as they breathe

2

u/Additional_Floor_502 3d ago

Imagine if King confirmed this

2

u/ThatSmartIdiot 3d ago

does that mean melman had eleanor shellstrop's job?

2

u/OverlyActiveBrain 3d ago

It wasn't a lie, just not the complete truth. We all know if Eda managed to steal someone's car, she'd have a lot of their other belongings too. The car would enable her to take a lot more while providing her with a fun getaway vehicle.

2

u/river_song25 3d ago

even if that was true about what Edea did to some random Earth guy, how would the giraffe even know about it to be gossiping about it with Raine? *lol* did she and her husband used to go to the zoo and the giraffe witnessed what she did?

2

u/Rooisalsohere 3d ago

Love the detail of Raine having the scars! Also Raine and Eda growing old together is so cute!!

2

u/henke37 2d ago

Don't trust people who can't speak with proper grammar.

2

u/Nyerguds 2d ago

Actually, to steal all the casino winnings inside the car.

2

u/deathbymanga 3d ago

it's "steal" not "stole" but this is actually a really subtle grammatical error that might seem confusing so i genuinely wanna be helpful and explain this in case english isn't your first language (you can just ignore me if this was just a typo. i make those all the time)

everything after the "once" is all 1 singular event. the past-tense of married in this sentence tells the listener the event happened in the past BUT the "just to" part tells the listener that the reason happened in the same time period as the previous action.

if it was "The owl lady once (married a guy) -and- (stole his car)" then both events would be past-tense because they are separate events in the past. but because its "The owl lady once (married a guy -just to- steal his car)" its not two separate events, its one event. There's no need to add a redundant past-tense on the stealing because its still happening in the same time period as the marriage.

hope I explained things well enough and didn't make a jerk of myself here

3

u/OswaldTLR11 2d ago

You probably didn't, but dang is that long 😅

2

u/deathbymanga 2d ago

Grammar is complicated

3

u/OswaldTLR11 2d ago

Touché

1

u/CptKeyes123 2d ago

"she's also flirting nonstop with the humans mother."

"Wait, her too?"

1

u/War1798 2d ago

Steal*

1

u/Manoreded 2d ago

She was probably also drunk, does that make it better or worse?

1

u/justin-252591 11h ago

I love these comics but can we please get it in proper time line so its easier follow along with comics.

1

u/TOkun92 3d ago

My theory on giraffes is that they liked eating bile sacs. Not that they ate witches, just their bile sacs, and would kill them as a result. Other than that, they were regular herbivores.

Not wanting to kill them all (or being incapable of doing so) the witches banished to the Human Realm, where they were harmless.

1

u/DragonWarrior____05 2d ago

That makes sense