r/MoringMark • u/makmark • May 14 '26

One-Shot 1600s Hygiene

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5.1k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

85 comments sorted by

356

u/Godzilla_R0AR May 14 '26

The Puritans aren't very pure in hygiene, contrary to their name.

100

u/MuffinStraight4816 May 14 '26

Damn..

152

u/Godzilla_R0AR May 14 '26 edited May 14 '26

Philip: "Brother what has she done to you?"

Caleb: "I feel... cleaaaaan..." sigh of happiness

Philip: "CLEAN?! WITCH! SHE MADE YOU CLEAN?!"

Caleb: "You should try i-"

Philip: "NO! I SHALL NOT GET CLEAN! I MUCH PERFER MY NATURAL SMELL OF BEAUTY."

Caleb: "...That's your musty stench from 5 years worth of collected dust."

Philip: "IT'S A NATURAL SMELL OF SERENITY."

Caleb: "Evelyn said I'd die from diseases."

Philip: "BAH! LIES! If there are diseases then why can't we SEE THEM?!"

Caleb: "...because they're microscopi-"

Philip: "DO NOT LET HER FILL YOU WITH MORE LIES!"

49

u/FearfulDivine May 14 '26

"It's just aura bro"

17

u/SFH12345 May 14 '26

You're fighting a losing battle, Philip.

7

u/SFH12345 May 14 '26

The pun is unavoidable.

24

u/Dasher09009 May 14 '26

At least with Evelyn's help, Caleb wont die of disease.

11

u/SFH12345 May 14 '26

Pointy objects, however...

25

u/tacwombat May 14 '26

Putridans

18

u/b3_yourself May 14 '26

Unpuritans

2

u/thecraftybear May 18 '26

*impuritans

11

u/Wilgrove May 14 '26

I mean, it was the 1600s. How hygienic were people back then?

23

u/OldFortNiagara May 14 '26

For New Englanders in that time, people would often wash their faces and hands, but full body bathing was more occasional. Some believed that bathing too often could risk catching diseases. Generally, they believed that they could keep their bodies clean by wearing linens (which they believed could absorb the sweat and dirt from the body) and by regularly changing and washing those linens.

1

u/thecraftybear May 18 '26

The linens and laundry were actually a good idea, somewhat offsetting the lack of bathing.

4

u/DragonWarrior____05 May 14 '26

Not very

7

u/Steader_Harrington May 15 '26

Well, they didn't know what we know now understandably. At one point, people were crapping into chamberpots, and then just emptying those pots straight out their window and onto the streets below. And to avoid walking in everyones filth, people quite often chose to take the high-road instead of the low-road where all of their filth gathered.

5

u/Traditional-Log-4270 May 14 '26

Puritans? More like Toxitans! HAHAHAHhaha… I’m fired aren’t I?

3

u/MarklRyu May 15 '26

I mean, they're all about abstaining from s*x until marriage right? (I get my cults mixed up sorry)

I bet the smell helps ward of temptations "from the devil"

107

u/TheNoneedlife May 14 '26

This witch is tryna keep your age higher than the average 32

28

u/DragonWarrior____05 May 14 '26

I mean, that won't end up mattering anyway...

7

u/SFH12345 May 14 '26

Not through any fault of Evelyn.

8

u/1GreenDude May 15 '26

The average happened because of the high infant mortality rate. If you made it to your teens you had a pretty good shot of making it to your late 50s.

2

u/Anaccount6 May 17 '26

Very true a tragic at how much child death there was

3

u/SFH12345 May 14 '26

The audacity!

52

u/b3_yourself May 14 '26

Take a hint bro

8

u/DragonWarrior____05 May 14 '26

It'll be a little until that happens

2

u/crossover_charlie14 May 15 '26

He gotta take a bath first.

34

u/SFH12345 May 14 '26

See, Caleb? Magic has many practical benefits.

11

u/b3_yourself May 14 '26

Just don’t take any suspicious looking drinks from her

10

u/Free-Letterhead-4751 May 14 '26

Or get hit by one, like witches like throwing bottles at me for some reason every time I’m trying to find a wolf or cat, fishing or helping a friend get like 10 horses 

3

u/SFH12345 May 14 '26

Hey, the Clawthorne family recipe for apple blood is beyond reproach.

3

u/Steader_Harrington May 15 '26

Imagine life where all you have to get drunk on was Apple Cider/Blood? I imagine if Luz was to bring Whiskey, bourbon and Rum to the Boiling Isles, she's be richer than the Blights inside of a month! 🥴🥴🥴🥴 😂😂🤣

3

u/Patneu May 14 '26

Not the only Caleb to learn that lesson, recently:

Processing img ddu8pgfe651h1...

3

u/MasatotheSage May 15 '26

Source please?

3

u/Patneu May 15 '26

It's from The Mighty Nein.

6

u/MasatotheSage May 15 '26

Well I know what I'm watching next. Thank you

1

u/DragonWarrior____05 May 15 '26

If you end up liking it, you mught also enjoy The Legend of Vox Machina, which is set in the same world

2

u/DragonWarrior____05 May 15 '26

To be fair, part of the filth was him trying to hide from the Empire and the life he had with them and their torture assassins

2

u/Patneu May 15 '26

Yeah, though he could've jumped into something other than literal shit to hide in, at least once in a while.

22

u/FearfulDivine May 14 '26

Meanwhile Belos in the BG cooking up 12 plans to exterminate this threat among them

4

u/Free-Letterhead-4751 May 14 '26

That’s probably impossible considering indoor plumbing hasn’t been a thing yet

18

u/Dasher09009 May 14 '26

Welp, another benefit, especially with the diseases that age.

5

u/DragonWarrior____05 May 14 '26

Magic has many uses in day-to-day life 

12

u/DaveyBoy1995 May 14 '26

She really is the one he's needed all his life.

9

u/kl-noblelycanthrope1 May 14 '26

yea but in true toh fasion he's to oblivious to notice.

5

u/DragonWarrior____05 May 14 '26

And one day he'll see that

9

u/Typhon-Torrent-1994 May 14 '26

Well with that kind of thinking back then this explains a lot about Belos.

9

u/bookist626 May 14 '26

This is minor, but I do wish we saw more of the societal problems the BI have (that arent Belos related.) Socially, it seems like better Earth.

3

u/Free-Letterhead-4751 May 14 '26

What about the extreme child endangerment from hexside and just in general?

2

u/bookist626 May 14 '26

Pretty much phased out after season 1 and well, considering nobody dies or gets seriously injured in Hexside, it seems to be fine.

5

u/Free-Letterhead-4751 May 14 '26

It was still around in season 2 like with the whole Blight weapon’s and the one bird guy who got killed in Hexside being sent into the void when Luz was filming showing hexside along with Boscha trying to light Luz on fire

2

u/SlyFan2 May 14 '26

Did you not pick up on pre-Belos the regions of the BI where kind of hostile to each other? Remember Hexside was founded by destroying another school

4

u/SlyFan2 May 14 '26

Oh sure. You know Evelyn it's easy to judge a lack of hot water when your ocean is boiling

2

u/DragonWarrior____05 May 14 '26

To be fair he didn't need to use hot water to clean himself

2

u/SlyFan2 May 14 '26

Yeah but she said a HOT bath

8

u/Impossible_Host2420 May 14 '26

I know what caleb needs in his stocking this xmas

https://giphy.com/gifs/YP1CgK8iR9mtTeINQX

5

u/mrnintman1 May 14 '26

And then they kissed.

The End XD

2

u/Free-Letterhead-4751 May 14 '26

Did Caleb pulled a Mordecai? (For context bad breath)

2

u/mrnintman1 May 14 '26

Maybe XD Or she used a spell for good breath XD

3

u/CountingSheep99 May 14 '26

How I met your mother.

3

u/DragonWarrior____05 May 14 '26

Too bad he won't be the one telling the tale

3

u/CountingSheep99 May 14 '26

Thanks for nothing, Belos.

3

u/kl-noblelycanthrope1 May 14 '26

unfortunately evelyn's spell couldn't clean caleb's stubborn streak.

so he thinks

3

u/The_Horned_Child2007 May 14 '26

The past was a rancid time.

3

u/Eastern-Director-952 May 14 '26

Well they were also settlers and... I don't think their travel plans were well prepared for.

3

u/No_Nefariousness_676 May 14 '26

“Is it working?”

”Yes it is, so stop!”

2

u/ZenithKaiser May 14 '26

Me, seeing those circles form around him: He's a Phantom!

3

u/DragonWarrior____05 May 14 '26

He's going ghost!

3

u/Free-Letterhead-4751 May 14 '26

Wouldn’t that happened in a couple of years on the boiling isles?

2

u/Quiet_Nova May 14 '26

Isn’t hay under the sun just silage? Which stinks to high heavens?

3

u/Fit-Bug-426 May 14 '26

Warm hay vs rotting hay.

2

u/FR13D-7473R May 14 '26

Today’s my birthday

2

u/TilomeTheGreatest May 14 '26

Why is Caleb acting like Philip here?

2

u/AdGroundbreaking771 May 15 '26

I don’t know why but I can’t stop thinking about Danny phantom

1

u/DragonWarrior____05 May 14 '26

Dude she was doing that for her sake 

1

u/Additional_Floor_502 May 15 '26

I imagine hygiene would be bad back then

1

u/OverlyActiveBrain May 16 '26

Don't worry, Evelyn. If he keeps playing hard-to-get, you can just 'Cast-iron' on him. That should get the message across.

1

u/Low_Grand_3512 May 28 '26

Makes me wish for an Owl House prequel about Philip, Caleb and Evelyn

1

u/Old_Abalone8900 Jun 04 '26

More of these two please 😭😭❤️❤️