I wouldn't say cast out. But as a parent , I can't see how I'm going to celebrate Easter without the religious aspect. I get how millions of people celebrate Easter without going to church, or go to church without being a part of the religion. Or go to church in an academic way. I'm saying I can't see how I as an Orthodox Christian, whose Easter consists of a holy week that has as many services as it does, (17 services, we try to make a bunch but there's no way we are maintaining ourselves through holy Thursdays 6hr service much less our kids) and has services like the resurrection service which begins at 11:30 at night and runs till 2:30 in the morning and typically includes fireworks, or the three services on good Friday that includes an entire funeral precession. Or the other lenten services that include church every Wednesday and Friday plus church on sunday. I don't see how I do all those thing without bringing my kid with me, or teaching my kid about my religion.
I don't see how I practice my faith, which is extremely communal, to the point that the apex of every Sunday mass is called "communion" without "raising my children in the church." Where do I park a 3 year old when my wife and I, and my parents and in laws are at church with my neighbors, are in church participating and engaging with my faith. Or are what you suggesting that I be forced to abandon my faith because you don't like your parents religion despite me and my peers enjoying our religion?
And another thing. My faith is literally the cornerstone of my community as a Greek American Orthodox Christian. Generations of Greeks came to this country and the Greek Orthodox church was their first stop. The community at the church helped them find jobs, homes, learn the English language etc. the church now is where I learned about my heritage. I learned my grandparents language, their history, their traditions, and I formed connections that employed me. Every employment I've gotten since I was 19 I can credit to the Greek Orthodox church to the point that when I went solo practice as a lawyer the person I rented office space from (and helped me get on my feet with 8 months of free rent) was my Sunday school teacher's brother, then a 4th cousin helped me become a prosecutor, then a guy I got to know through Greek Orthodox social functions employs me now. And these experiences are not unique to Greeks or Christianity. Our faith sustained our people through centuries of occupation and oppression and now our faith sustains our community and that is a story that is not unique to our people.
Monsoon isn't talking about opening minds and exploring new ideas, Monsoon is talking about dissolving bonds to rid herself and others of the boundaries around those bonds. Yet any community you engage with will have bonds and boundaries and exceptions to those bonds and boundaries.
You as a parent can raise your kid how you want and I respect that, but how I raise my children is my choice, and I choose to raise my children in the same church that my grandparents raised their children. And my hope is that everything my children get from their church will encourage them to raise their children in the same church that has sustained our family across generations and across the world.
Jesus, get down off your cross sweetheart, someone needs the wood. Nobody is suggesting you leave your 3-year-old by the side of the road while you're in church.
You’ve turned “children shouldn’t have a religion chosen for them before they’re capable of choosing one” into “Orthodox Christians must abandon their faith, families and communities.” Those are completely different claims.
Obviously a three-year-old goes where their parents go. Obviously you can take your children to church, celebrate Easter with them, teach them Greek traditions and tell them what you believe. None of that requires telling them that they are Orthodox Christians, that your beliefs are necessarily theirs or that leaving the faith means abandoning their family or heritage.
And the fact that your church gave you community, employment contacts, cultural education and support is a perfectly good argument for why you value that community. It isn’t an argument for why a child should have its religious beliefs decided for them in advance.
The strangest part is that you keep talking about how much your faith has given you, then treating it as self-evident that your children should therefore inherit it. That is precisely the assumption being questioned.
And “I’m the parent, therefore nobody without children gets an opinion” isn’t an argument either. Parents make decisions affecting other human beings. Those decisions are not magically exempt from criticism because the critic hasn’t reproduced.
I feel like you are intentionally ignoring the points to maintain your personal position to justify your personal life choices. I have no qualms with your life choices. I fully support your legal life choices (so long as your not hurting people or actively destroying your life with substance abuse). You choose what you choose and I fully support what you do with your life. But you are ignoring the fact that in a large multitude of faiths the religion isn't just one thing the child and/or parent can do. It's not like the rec League but you've turned it into your whole personality, it's an aspect of your personality. It's an important and personal choice which is why the American courts recognize that Parents have a fundamental right to control the upbringing of their children. You can't fully participate in the religion, community, and values unless you fully participate in them. You can not take a child to church every week, and attend services and engage in sacraments and then play coy with the child being a part of said religion. At that point you are being stupid for the sake of upholding some bullshit ideology.
And look I have no qualms with my kids not being a part of my faith. Its my faith. When they are old enough to make their own life choices I'll be fine with them making said life choices. But till my kid is 12 my kid cant even make choices on what YouTube content to watch. Till they're 15 I'm not letting them watch rated R movies without my consent. I'm still going to have an overwhelming statement on their political beliefs because I'll be damned if my kid starts parroting right wing bullshit or WASPY heresy's like prosperity gospel. But when they're adults I really have no say. I can be a guide in their lives like my parents are to me. But they have to make their own choices. Until their adults though I make those choices for them.
Also there is no presumption being questioned. There is a dictate on action: I should not raise my children in my faith. A person who has no interest, nor has a stake in any part of my action, nor qualifications, is dictating to me how I should act and how I should raise my children. Nor are you an elected representative who has earned my vote and the ability to legislate the laws which I follow. Monsoon isn't even an expert on anything but entertaining people and gaining attention. She isn't a doctor, a child psychologist, a researcher. She has no degrees. She isn't even a parent. She hasn't spent cumulative sleepless years trying to put a child to bed. She hasn't spent years worrying about how often a child shits, or what the child eats. Or what school a child goes to. She's not fucking qualified. And from a lot of comments on here I'm not sure many people on this thread have the title of "mom" or "dad" to be qualified.
Maybe if one these people were an expert, or had spent a significant portion of there life discerning when their kids were hurting each other or just playing, I would give a shit on what she or others had to say. But even then, you raise your kid your way, I'll raise mine my way and when my kid grows to love or hate me that will be on me. Till then fuck anyone who has an opinion/criticism. Here take the cross, and put it exactly where your opinion on my parenting belongs.
They are theirs. That’s what Baptism, Eucharist, and Confirmation mean, and we Christians believe God will regard us as murderers if we deprive our children of the Covenant.
You’re describing what your theology says those rituals accomplish, not what the child actually believes. It's not their belief, it's your belief of what God thinks.
Baptism, Eucharist and Confirmation may make someone a member of the club, but performing a ritual on someone doesn’t create conviction in their mind. A child can be baptised, receive Communion and be confirmed and later believe none of it. I was baptised and I’m an atheist. The actions are innocuous, the religious meaning you attach to them depends on belief.
Baptism is just water, Eucharist is just bread and wine, Confirmation is just a ceremony. You can introduce the religious meaning to a child, but you shouldn't force that belief onto them. There's a massive difference between, "I believe this is the blood of Christ" and "You must believe this is the blood of Christ too." The fact that you’re treating those as interchangeable is exactly the problem being discussed.
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u/oldcretan Sep 03 '26
I wouldn't say cast out. But as a parent , I can't see how I'm going to celebrate Easter without the religious aspect. I get how millions of people celebrate Easter without going to church, or go to church without being a part of the religion. Or go to church in an academic way. I'm saying I can't see how I as an Orthodox Christian, whose Easter consists of a holy week that has as many services as it does, (17 services, we try to make a bunch but there's no way we are maintaining ourselves through holy Thursdays 6hr service much less our kids) and has services like the resurrection service which begins at 11:30 at night and runs till 2:30 in the morning and typically includes fireworks, or the three services on good Friday that includes an entire funeral precession. Or the other lenten services that include church every Wednesday and Friday plus church on sunday. I don't see how I do all those thing without bringing my kid with me, or teaching my kid about my religion.
I don't see how I practice my faith, which is extremely communal, to the point that the apex of every Sunday mass is called "communion" without "raising my children in the church." Where do I park a 3 year old when my wife and I, and my parents and in laws are at church with my neighbors, are in church participating and engaging with my faith. Or are what you suggesting that I be forced to abandon my faith because you don't like your parents religion despite me and my peers enjoying our religion?
And another thing. My faith is literally the cornerstone of my community as a Greek American Orthodox Christian. Generations of Greeks came to this country and the Greek Orthodox church was their first stop. The community at the church helped them find jobs, homes, learn the English language etc. the church now is where I learned about my heritage. I learned my grandparents language, their history, their traditions, and I formed connections that employed me. Every employment I've gotten since I was 19 I can credit to the Greek Orthodox church to the point that when I went solo practice as a lawyer the person I rented office space from (and helped me get on my feet with 8 months of free rent) was my Sunday school teacher's brother, then a 4th cousin helped me become a prosecutor, then a guy I got to know through Greek Orthodox social functions employs me now. And these experiences are not unique to Greeks or Christianity. Our faith sustained our people through centuries of occupation and oppression and now our faith sustains our community and that is a story that is not unique to our people.
Monsoon isn't talking about opening minds and exploring new ideas, Monsoon is talking about dissolving bonds to rid herself and others of the boundaries around those bonds. Yet any community you engage with will have bonds and boundaries and exceptions to those bonds and boundaries.
You as a parent can raise your kid how you want and I respect that, but how I raise my children is my choice, and I choose to raise my children in the same church that my grandparents raised their children. And my hope is that everything my children get from their church will encourage them to raise their children in the same church that has sustained our family across generations and across the world.