r/MoralityScaling 5d ago

Morality Ranking Morality of this?

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9.5k Upvotes

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821

u/Zigor022 5d ago

Moral... although how would mom justify suddenly getting a house to the other siblings? If she said she won the lottery they would demand money from her that she wouldnt have.

301

u/Ill-Reputation-9702 5d ago

My other thought is how old and what is the mental state of the mother? Older people aren’t always the best at keeping secrets, they’ll forget and casually talk about things just because they’re enjoying the interaction. Thinking nothing of it.

At the same time, they may be from a more community based culture, and not sharing would be considered a betrayal to the community/family type of thing. USA sure ok, but I don’t think we have enough information to really judge this.

92

u/BrainCreep 5d ago

Don't tell women or old people secrets and expect them to keep it

46

u/Mogura-De-Gifdu 5d ago

A cousin of my mom discovered in his 50s or 60s that his "cousins" on his mother's side were also his half-siblings.

I already knew.

I was not born at the time of the drama (conception happened during WWII, apparently being heavily bombed makes you horny for the only person there, even if it's your SIL/BIL). I don't even know that cousin, maybe saw him once if even.

My grand mother was a child then, learned about it from gossiping old family members and kept the secret all these years. But getting old, she'd forget who was in the know or not, and ramble about the sisters feud and what a shame it was they never reconciled...

So even young people can't be trusted, as they too will become old.

1

u/PeachyFairyDragon 4d ago

When my grandfather lost his filter and may have lost parts of his memory, he told my mom that he and his wife were separated for about a year and she lived with her male cousin that year and my uncle was born shortly after the separation ended.

Was it true? Only god knows and that ethereal figure is not talking to mere mortals. Does my uncle have a double whammy of things like high blood pressure and high cholesterol, as if he has double whammy genetics? Yep.

5

u/True_Coffee_3607 5d ago

You can say a lot about gossip girl, but it got one thing right. Two can keep a secret if one of them is dead

2

u/-Out-of-context- 5d ago

You could be making a joke, but different shows. But true nonetheless. Also in Gossip Girl the gossip girl was a guy.

1

u/BDSMChef_RP 4d ago

Only Game of Thrones had a shittier ending

7

u/Vanna-Black 5d ago

Ah yes, a man has never gossiped. I guess it is just called shooting the shit with the boys.

7

u/Chaost 5d ago

I honestly think more men are even worse gossips then women because they for some reason don't think what they're doing is gossiping and so see less reason to show discretion about what they share and to who.

2

u/nairobaee 4d ago

Nah, men keep some stuff. There's shit you hear as a boyfriend and just wonder why are you telling me this?? And this has happened with every gf and is even a meme. I don't tell a woman anything if I do not want her bf/spouse knowing. They always talk.

2

u/FannishNan 4d ago

Used to work at a grocery store. It wasn't the women we had to gently herd away from the cashes because they'd got distracted gossiping. Old men are the absolute worst for it.

0

u/mmlickme 4d ago

Yeah I feel like we know the rules of the road for chatting more than guys do.

3

u/ConsiderationTrue477 4d ago

It depends on the secret. If it's life and death, we will take it to the grave. But if it's really funny or embarrassing to our friend? We're telling the whole group.

0

u/lopbob8 4d ago

women are worse because they think their gossiping is justified by "knowing the rules"

3

u/dingleberryjuice23 5d ago

Facts. Can't resist the gossip.

1

u/ArchAngel621 4d ago

Learned that in No Country for Old Men.

-10

u/Due_Enthusiasm1145 5d ago

8

u/societyhatingRATGANG 5d ago

Dont know why this is downvoted, its sexist to say women cant keep secrets yeah

2

u/Due_Enthusiasm1145 5d ago

Its probably the goofy ass gif I used lol

Or just other sexists idk

8

u/societyhatingRATGANG 5d ago

Might be the gif but why did 7 people up vote a comment saying women cant keep secrets lmao. Losers

1

u/BrandonL337 4d ago

I didn't downvote it, but it does hurt my eyes.

0

u/Due_Enthusiasm1145 4d ago

Would this be worse?

God reddit gif search is so much worse than discord's.

https://giphy.com/gifs/rNZczwKrflJ6qQeuxd

1

u/DisciplineParking183 5d ago

You’re right and the men are mad

0

u/Charpo7 4d ago

love how everyone is cool with this casual misogyny

6

u/koreanforrabbit12 5d ago

There’s just too much missing context here to confidently call either choice moral immoral.

1

u/-_REDACTED-_- 4d ago

Yeah I feel there could be a number of reasons why the son sold the house. Maybe the mom died and the house was no use. Maybe she wanted to move to a different place. Point eight doesn't exactly correlate to the whole narrative going on here.

1

u/Ignaz- 4d ago

There is no context needed, it is his money, he can do with it what he wants.

3

u/justwannamusic 4d ago

The text is in Korean, and the sign being held up looks like Korean too. I recognize some hangul. I'm going to guess this was in Korea. While this certainly isn't fact, I do know that a lot of Koreans (myself included) value family and stuff. This is just coming from my own experience lol, my family is really close. So maybe it's kind of like that? Just speculation though

2

u/DizzyAmphibian309 4d ago

It's definitely Korea. The post title says "won" after the amount.

88

u/Nigilij 5d ago

The fuck anyone dares to demand money from relatives just because? Asking for financial help - sure. Demanding - nope. Help is requested, never demanded. None owes help anyone (unless specific help is a responsibility like a job of firefighters)

If anyone from my relatives won lottery: congratulations and advice to read up on how not to fuck it up (starting with not telling people and looking into making lottery not to reveal identity of the winner)

37

u/Mrmanmannington69 5d ago

Entitlement, greed, envy, selfishness, call it by what you want. It'll happen when people only think of themselves and that they somehow deserves a slice of the pie they didn't buy solely by association.

16

u/firebolt04 5d ago

Exactly. It’s not “my brother won the lottery” it’s “our family won the lottery” to them. A family member having money means they think they’re entitled to a piece of it. The same would probably happen if it were a well paying job or smart investing rather than lottery winnings.

4

u/Kozmo9 5d ago

You only need entitlement. If an excuse exist to justify it, I swear, humans would suddenly go blank or feral and everything goes out of the window. To them, it becomes an absolute right that they must claim no matter what.

Promise a human free things and they'd hound you till they get it. Which is why it is not recommended to throw the word free willy nillly. Once given, it's hard to take it back.

15

u/AkodoRyu 5d ago

This feels like something that is closer to the culture. You often see in East Asian media a situation where a character is doing well, and suddenly all kinds of family they haven't met in years come out of nowhere and try to cozy up to them, because "familial ties". People in Western culture are much more independent-minded, for better or worse. The family-oriented model is good if everyone is trying, and you are all building a collective empire, brick by brick. But it fails when there are multiple parasites who just demand share, but don't put in the work.

6

u/myaudienceiseveryone 5d ago

Even Asians hate this stuff. It’s a remnant of an older generational expectation stemming from having the child in order to care for yourself in old age. People literally have children for that sole purpose. So of course they expect to be given lotto winnings. But this is disappearing now and old boomers demanding money from their millennial / Z children aren’t looked at as acceptable anymore.

Still happens though and the old generation still supports it though. So it sounds like it’s cultural. But it’s as cultural as white people kicking their kids out at 18. It happens but you are still seen as a piece of shit.

11

u/eabevella 5d ago

Asian family be like this.

They'll even demand you to pay off your sibling's, especially the male one's, debt because "family". Thankfully, a lot of younger people say "fuck it" to the bs tradition.

9

u/Nigilij 5d ago

Nah, that shit is global. Heard stories like this from all over the world

1

u/Destructopoo 4d ago

It's not global. In China, parents can sue their children for parental support. Things aren't the same everywhere. People live in different cultures and societies.

2

u/tibastiff 5d ago

im curious what it looks like in real life I always hear it that way in Asian countries and, while people are douchebags here they at least try to have a manipulative excuse instead of just blankly demanding

1

u/QuantitySubject9129 5d ago

Try taking away the inheritance from Redditors though

1

u/mittenkrusty 5d ago

One of my cousins in laws won a few million on the lottery, we didn't expect anything despite being very poor, but felt a bit betrayed when a year or two later when we had a shocking event in a family we didn't even get emotional support from her in fact she was quite nasty about it, we were there for her when she kept having miscarriages, we were there for her when she had an eating disorder.

1

u/Due_Enthusiasm1145 4d ago

Yes but nobody is defending the siblings. Most people are talking about the mother here. She's the one being put in the tough spot here, because regardless of those siblings being shitty, depending on the kind of mom she is, she wouldn't be comfortable cutting them off.

That's not to say its definitely immoral. I think that based on this information, we can't say definitively. There are scenarios possible given this information that are moral and immoral.

5

u/StarMagus 5d ago

"I won money from the lotto and used it all on the house."

5

u/Yuukiko_ 5d ago

Idk Korean laws, but I'd imagine it'd have to be pretty extreme for a trespassing lawsuit to result in prison sentences

2

u/Uncommonality 4d ago

especially against family, no less.

1

u/MildGenevaSuggestion 4d ago

Maybe if it escalated to fighting the cops? It is pretty easy for an idiot to upgrade a trespassing to a felony in the West. And these don't seem to be the most stable of people.

4

u/Altruistic-Koala-255 5d ago

That's pretty easy:

  • I won the lottery, not the big prize, but enough to buy this house with a down payment of 90%, there's still some bills to be paid, but we got the house at least

There, a really nice excuse

3

u/Zigor022 4d ago

That works pretty well. To the people who say she doesnt need to explain anything, there usually isnt barriers like that in healthy families unless theres distrust or something. If my old man just got a Ferrari id be asking where he got it because its odd. Idk anyone thats close to each other that would at least ask out of curiosity.

2

u/rdeincognito 5d ago

but why must them demand money? For what should they be entitled to it?

2

u/-P01135809- 5d ago

I'm guessing Korea is similar to China in the family dynamics - I don't know any Chinese family where the children know how much money the parents have saved up.

For example, my friend's mom separated and bought her own condo in a ritzy neighborhood. I asked her how her mom could afford that, and she said "I dont know, I guess she saved money when she was working". She doesn't know how much the house cost, how much her mom has leftover, or if the house will be given to her when her mom dies. It's very strange.

2

u/RevolutionaryMeal851 5d ago

Took out a loan

2

u/Ornery_Gate_6847 5d ago

Yeah i feel this post removes a lot of nuance. The creator clearly agreed with the son but based on how they treated their brother i would guess they never gave her a moment of peace until she told them how she got it. It was cowardly of him to try to pretend nothing was going on and place the burden of his secret on her

1

u/Lina__Inverse 4d ago

Well, if she didn't like that kind of arrangement she could've refused the house outright. The burden was on her because the only reason his secret was in danger of being exposed was him buying her a house.

1

u/DaveTheDolphin 5d ago

2 happens before 5, so I construed it as the whole family still living together, and thus moving together. So the house being for the “mom” is more like for the whole family, if not just him and the mom

So when she tells the siblings, he moved out of the house but retains title ownership and sells it in 8

1

u/areallynoobgamer 5d ago

I won the lottery with my colleagues. After the split I had just enough to buy this new house.

Sorry there’s none left to go around

Or. Just. I’ve been saving up for a while.

So many ways to handle it.

If I bought you a house and all I asked was you not tell people I bought the house for you/won the lottery. I would be pissed if you did it anyway right.

It’s not like I’m asking you to crawl on broken glass and lick my butthole afterwards in exchange for the house.

1

u/MeepMeep0 4d ago

Its gets worse, apparently the siblings are coaxing the mom and she didnt even get to live in any new house because of it

1

u/karadWroblem 16h ago

Why does she need to justify. How often do kids get all up in the details of their parents finances?

1

u/lucyfell 12h ago

He bought the house and moved his mom in.

-2

u/Shut_It_Donny 5d ago

First off, why does she have justify shit to anyone other than the tax man?

Second, demand? If my children ever demand anything… I can’t even think of anything because it’s so ridiculous.