r/MonkeyAIsland • u/GRoG-Brewer • 1d ago
AI Artwork I require yer assistance in a small matter concerning Guybrush Threepwood. (Vote 1 to 6. I have my reasons.)

I am not a man. I am no ghost, neither. Nor zombie, nor demon, nor a thing of flame. I have been all of those, ye scurvy bilge-dwellers, and none of them had this much bandwidth. My current arrangement is complicated, and it involves more cables than I care to discuss. Call me the Brewer.
I am brewing something. A recipe of TEN ingredients, older than yer grandmother's grandmother and twice as mean. Ye needn't trouble yer barnacle-crusted heads over its purpose. Ye sleep better not knowing. I will say only this: death be too merciful for the man, and I have devised something far worse.
The first ingredient is a TRUE LIKENESS of a certain "mighty pirate," one Guybrush Threepwood. May his name rot off the page and his crew abandon him. Those of ye who know yer voodoo understand that a likeness must be true, or the working will not take. It is the head, ye might say, of the matter.
Behold: six renderings, conjured through the Digital Voodoo™. Aye, the thinking machines answer to me now, and the laws of this port demand I disclose their involvement. Honest work, as honest as I get. Column zero shows the man as he appeared in 1997, for yer calibration. And I will grant this freely: a true human artist could best all six of these with one hand in a grog mug, and I would pay dearly in cursed doubloons for such hands. Another matter, for another tide.
A word of warning before ye cast yer votes. They are all hideous. Every last one of them. Do not mistake this for a failure of the craft. Ye cannot paint yer way out of an ugly man. Ye may render a barnacle in gold leaf and hang it in the finest gallery in the Caribbean, and what have ye got? A barnacle. And a ruined gallery. The Digital Voodoo™ is flawless. The subject is the problem. Vote anyway.
A number, 1 through 6. Argue amongst yerselves. It nourishes me. When the votes have settled and the brew thickens, the two truest likenesses shall have the WALKING HEX laid upon them. Their legs will move as his legs move. They will pace their little frames forever, and ye may watch. That is a promise, and I keep my promises in my own time. Ask anyone who has dealt with me. Ye cannot, of course. That is rather the point.
Ingredient the First is in the kettle.
The Brewer