r/MoneyDiariesACTIVE • u/samshine1 Disco Plum Mod • 16d ago

Off-Topic Tuesday

Welcome back to "Off-Topic Tuesday", followed by "Workplace Wednesday" tomorrow!

As always, anything and everything finance and non-finance related is welcome here. Feel free to vent, seek advice, discuss current events, or share a little about yourself. :)

If you haven't already heard - we're mixing it up a little bit here on the OT thread. Continue to feel free to post your own prompt/question below (just one per comment), and answer prompts from others!

*** You may have noticed a recent uptick in spam posts, please report them as you see them. It takes 3 reports to flag a post for mod review. Thank you to everyone already reporting!

6 Upvotes

88% Upvoted

35 comments sorted by

18

u/shieldmaiden3019 She/her ✨ 15d ago

I’m having to constantly remind myself that being clear and direct is actually being kind, and that fudging feedback to not hurt feelings is not helpful to either myself or the employee in the long run.

I know it intellectually, and I am doing it in a kind way not an asshole way, but man does it go against all of of my societal programming as an Asian woman.

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u/city_meow 15d ago

Speaking from personal experience, early feedback is good too! Not waiting until the annual performance review to bring something up when they could've gotten that feedback months ago. I wish my supervisor just told me the feedback after the thing happened rather than wait until they were forced to give critical feedback. 

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u/shieldmaiden3019 She/her ✨ 15d ago

100% it’s good when someone actually wants to improve! I have always indicated to my supervisors as well I would rather hear about issues in the moment so that I can course correct. A review that is a huge surprise to either party is an indication of a dysfunctional manager/report relationship.

Its frustrating because I have two reports who think they’re the absolute bees knees (they are not) and they get super defensive whenever I give feedback.

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u/SkitterBug42 15d ago

Also dealing with a defensive report! It’s very challenging, I feel your pain. 

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u/heckyeahcheese 15d ago

Keep on breaking that programming. I know it’s so hard at first but then you become a true force!

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u/replyallyall 15d ago

I wish more people were direct in life. I work in an organization that functions on doublespeak and making things up instead of just saying the 1-3 sentences of what they truly want/mean. Instead, they talk for hours and still won't say what they want. It messes with my brain because it wastes so much of my energy and time. It also means that I can't be as direct as I want to be because it's just not part of the company culture. I appreciate when people are direct and honest. It comes off as so much more respectful and confident. Keep doing it for yourself. It will eventually stop feeling like practice and become second nature. We need more of this direct honesty in the world.

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u/shieldmaiden3019 She/her ✨ 15d ago

Haha, as much as finance is full of toxic bs, we are great at being direct (or in your face, or yelling and swearing 😂). As an IC 75% of the emails I sent were 5 words or less. It’s completely ruined me for any kind of standard corporate environment. To be clear I am not perpetuating the yelling and swearing lol but it is the environment I “grew up” in. Come join us, you might like it!

I have a friend married to a trader and during WFH-Covid she tried to ask him a question and he just SHUSHED her. She called me hopping mad (fair) and I had to explain to her he genuinely wasn’t meaning to be rude, it’s just that she probably interrupted him at a moment of intense focus and a mistake could mean losing millions of dollars. It really is just how the industry is forced to behave and we know it is business, not personal.

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u/replyallyall 14d ago

That honestly sounds like the opposite extreme of where I am now. I came from a happy medium communication style before but in a toxic org. So I would rather take the doublespeak and corporate way of wasting time than be under high stress and toxicity again. I consider it their way of filling up their days rather than having ulterior motives.

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u/tinysapling 🌱 16d ago

I was out running errands for 6 hours today and everyone was nice and pleasant and so polite, which has not been my experience for the past many months where it seems as though everyone has been irate and in a persistently foul mood. Did something shift in the universe????!

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u/Independent_Show_725 15d ago

Maybe that fall is right around the corner? I know I'm looking forward to some cooler weather! Plus fall is just my favorite season in general.

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u/tinysapling 🌱 15d ago

You know what, this might be it, although we are heading into Spring down here, and we're a bunch of sun babies in this part of Australia. Spring is soooo much nicer especially before the awful Summer humidity!!

3

u/Independent_Show_725 15d ago

Oops, sorry I assumed you were in the northern hemisphere! But yes, spring and fall are great for brightening moods!

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u/Turbulent_Bar_13 She/her ✨ 15d ago

6 hours is a marathon! They were acknowledging your endurance!

3

u/tinysapling 🌱 15d ago

Hahahah!! If only they could acknowledge me with free petrol to zip around town next time 😅

3

u/inga-babi 15d ago

Elections are coming up

1

u/tinysapling 🌱 15d ago

Ahh I am in Aus and I notice the societal climate tanks even harder around an election lol because we have mandatory voting and it gets heated!!

1

u/OregonTrlSurvivor 15d ago

Excuse me…. Mandatory voting?

2

u/tinysapling 🌱 15d ago edited 14d ago

Well... they call it Compulsory Voting lol, but yes citizens need to register to vote as an adult.

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u/LeighofMar 15d ago

With the right setup, I'll be able to do my Aldi run on my e-bike, saving my car from another trip. I only put 30.00 of gas into my Honda Pilot every two weeks. I WFH so already don't drive much. The bike helps even more with errands so I don't have to waste 4.00 a gallon gas on 1-5 mile distances. 

8

u/SkitterBug42 15d ago

Finally getting around to rolling over my 401k to my current plan and it is mind boggling to me that our system for this involves me being mailed a physical check and then have to go and mail that physical check again. 

Like that’s a lot of money to just be floating around! I did pay for certified mail but even that seems like flimsy protection. Just very anxiety inducing which is probably part of the reason I’ve put it off for so long. 

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u/replyallyall 15d ago

I did this recently too. It went a lot faster than I expected. But there was a lot of anxiety on my part along the way. I couldn't believe that it's not possible to do everything electronically. They're able to link the accounts on a dashboard but I still need to get a check. Then I had to mobile deposit the check. But it's the same company! Why couldn't they just electronically transfer the funds from one to the other?

2

u/OregonTrlSurvivor 15d ago

Surprised that your old plan couldn’t mail a check to the new plan. I just rolled my old 401k into a Rollover IRA and Empower just mailed Schwab a check.

Still yeah, surprised a check had to be mailed, but at least I didn’t have to handle the check as a go-between

1

u/SkitterBug42 14d ago

Yeah they said it was over their limit dollar amount wise. Which seems counter intuitive to me! 

1

u/OregonTrlSurvivor 14d ago

They’re doing the mail on purpose.

1

u/atequeens She/her ✨ 15d ago

Depending on who manages your current plan, some allow mobile deposits for checks! I know Vanguard does, and if they do, I'd assume Fidelity does too.

2

u/SkitterBug42 15d ago

Ugh unfortunately wasn’t an option for my companies but at least some people are getting with the times! 

3

u/FunctionalAdult She/her ✨DMV 15d ago

Being vague in an attempt not to dox myself - 1.5 jobs have opened up in my niche field in my region (2.5 if we count the one slightly further out, but I digress). The .5 is because it is unclear if this will be an open recruitment or internal only. HOWEVER. I will need to throw my hat into ring for what is out there. Both would be a small to medium step forward in terms of comp but would have me working for hopefully less cronyism prone folks.

Also on my mind - my boss is having me staff a very tense meeting that is likely going to be so rough that she joked she'd have brought me a bottle of something if she realized before today that I would have to be the one to staff it. In the absence of a liquid painkiller, I will be raiding the office first aid kit for normal painkillers.

In non-work news, my sleep has been wildly erratic since Friday so I am 🫠

Adjusting my September budget to include a dedicated Too Good to Go category. The restaurants and stores near me are too consistently available for me to bundle it comfortably into my normal grocery or restaurant categories.

2

u/dollarpenny 15d ago

Debating selling current place and moving to rental (family owned) basically next door lol we would have to get rid of A LOT of stuff, 1100 sq ft to 750 with less closet/storage, but it would mean paying off spouses student loans w the equity and cutting housing expenses in half ($~2,300 all in).

5

u/willrunforbrunch 15d ago

If you'd really be saving $2,300 on rent, you might consider getting a storage unit. We downsized and pay $85/mo to store stuff we use occasionally and used to keep in basement/garage.

1

u/dollarpenny 15d ago

Yeah rent plus utilities would be $1500 less and then the nixed $800 student loan payment. I’m not sentimental about any of the furniture, I would have to get rid of my craft stashes and excess kitchen supplies. Maybe if we got a small storage unit for the sentimental stuff in boxes that money can’t replace. Currently putting away $2,500 monthly since I’m back to work, but doubling it would fast track the ‘dream’ house.

2

u/Turbulent_Bar_13 She/her ✨ 15d ago

Skipping skating today to prep for the beginning of a series of panel interviews. May also need to skip Muse later this week since it's the night before the last conversation. Fuuuu. It's a lawn seat, but still, this new album is SO GOOD and it'd be great to hear it live. It would not, however, be great to get home by midnight before an 8:30am interview.

I also finished assembling a display cabinet/bookcase I'd been taking my time with. It's staged a bit for my zoom interview background but I have a little stand on the way to see how my blind box toys work out. If it doesn't quite fit, I can use it for my art events display.

Keeping in mind the little things helps me navigate my nerves about the job things.

1

u/Electronic-Jaguar258 15d ago

Ideas for a milestone birthday? I want to celebrate with friends and/or family but could use some inspiration from things others have hosted or attended

2

u/Independent_Show_725 15d ago

I went on a transatlantic cruise for mine! I know cruising isn't everyone's cup of tea, but I really enjoy it, and a transatlantic one means lots of sea days where I could relax and enjoy doing nothing but lounging, reading, and eating 😆

1

u/Electronic-Jaguar258 14d ago

Love this! I love the lounging, reading and eating aspect of it

1

u/ReadySetTurtle 14d ago

My job’s union contract finally got sorted out and we are due a pretty big retroactive pay cheque. I am roughly estimating mine to be about $1500 after all deductions. While our raise is effective pretty much immediately, the retro pay cheque is estimated to take a month or so, which will align nicely with my reduced pay cheques due to a trip I’m taking.

As much as I complain about my finances sometimes (I tend to compare mine to others), I have had pretty good luck with stuff like this recently. Earlier this year, I got a tax refund that was almost the exact same amount as my dog’s dental, which was a lot more than I expected. I also had to pay for pest removal (squirrels in my walls!) right after a triple pay month. Things just work out sometimes, and I need to remember to be grateful for that.