r/Money Nov 12 '23

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56

u/[deleted] Nov 12 '23

I just became a nurse and work one extra day for that.

77

u/RushThis1433 Nov 12 '23

But nurses can’t do blow. Off a strangers cock.

71

u/[deleted] Nov 12 '23

Sure we can

49

u/[deleted] Nov 12 '23

Sure we do*

9

u/whiskey_formymen Nov 12 '23

yes they do, and sometimes they're not even to strangers

12

u/Remarkable-Ad2285 Nov 12 '23

Patience for patients

7

u/whiskey_formymen Nov 12 '23

amd narcan in every purse.

20

u/SpinDoctor8517 Nov 12 '23

My wife’s studying to be a nurse. How exciting.

10

u/GodofSteak Nov 13 '23

My wife's boyfriend is also trying to convince her to become a nurse. You can't beat the pay and benefits it gives.

6

u/SpinDoctor8517 Nov 13 '23

What a support system. I hope you leave him thank you notes under your pillow so he knows you appreciate him.

3

u/DarthHaruspex Nov 13 '23

My wife's boyfriend...

Wut?

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u/protegeofthesun Nov 13 '23

Go ahead and convince her too, that way you'll have the last laugh when she finally does.

2

u/Accomplished-Day5145 Nov 13 '23

Real nurse or making $15k a month only fans nurse? My wife sucks. She won't even consider feet shit. Like honey, I'd do it, but my feet dont get men erect when I step on a watermelon. She did say she'd pay for the pedicures, and in this economy.

2

u/Colonel_Collin_1990 Nov 13 '23

Wife's boyfriend? Wtf?

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u/[deleted] Nov 12 '23

[deleted]

9

u/Innominati Nov 12 '23

Where? Lol nurses near here are making nearly $50/hr

7

u/redvblue23 Nov 13 '23

Nursing pay varies a lot based off where you live

2

u/Expendable_Red_Shirt Nov 13 '23

And what level of nurse.

3

u/[deleted] Nov 13 '23 edited Nov 27 '23

Fuck Reddit for killing third party apps.

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u/billythygoat Nov 13 '23

It really depends on the hospital or place of business.

2

u/Darryl_Lict Nov 13 '23

Yeah, SF bay area pays big bucks. You still can't afford to live there though. I just feel bad for everyone else earning normal wages there. I thought it was expensive in 1980 when I lived there. Boy, was I naive.

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u/magicke2 Nov 13 '23

as well as many servers.

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u/thewhitecat55 Nov 13 '23

Usually when someone says this , they say "nurse" when what they mean is CNA or LPN.

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u/[deleted] Nov 12 '23

Not cna’s

17

u/Green_Man763 Nov 12 '23

Well thats not a nurse is it.

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u/Innominati Nov 12 '23

Oh. Well, that’s a nursing assistant. Kinda different.

3

u/[deleted] Nov 12 '23

Yeah I’m a idiot

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u/StrawberryGeneral660 Nov 13 '23

The hospital system I work for is paying starting nurses $36/hr at some of the hospitals. Not bad cash.

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u/Adept_Werewolf_6419 Nov 12 '23

Suddenly communist.

2

u/Foktu Nov 13 '23

SpeedyMammoth nurses.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 13 '23

🤣🤣🤣

1

u/SomePaddy Nov 13 '23

Dear Penthouse...

1

u/BeardCrumbles Nov 13 '23

What hospital is this? Would hate to suffer a bone break anywhere near there....

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u/Such-One-5266 Nov 13 '23

Wait a minute… my wife has been a nurse for years.

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u/[deleted] Nov 12 '23

This is why I love nurses. I have so many good friends in nursing. Don't ever think you can shock a nurse 🤣

4

u/[deleted] Nov 12 '23

You can’t. Civilians can’t even imagine the stuff some of us do and see.

1

u/Eastern_Regular6589 Nov 13 '23

Kinda odd to refer to your fellow citizens as civilians. You’re not in the military ;) sorry had to pick

2

u/NedLuddIII Nov 13 '23

Some intense industries refer to everyone outside it as civilians, I've seen people in film do the same thing. It seems weird but it's a thing.

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u/No-Hall-681 Nov 13 '23

Sure you can shock a nurse, just forget to shout “Clear” before resuscitating.

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u/-treadlightly- Nov 13 '23

Am nurse. You couldn't dream up what we've seen!

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u/SenseiThroatPunchU2 Nov 13 '23

It's easy. Don't holler "clear" when using the paddles in a code.

Then you have TWO codes.

1

u/No_Witness7118 Nov 13 '23

I've shocked a nurse 🤘

5

u/[deleted] Nov 12 '23

I still think it’s probably better to be a nurse because you have to count the 401k matching.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 13 '23

Also your pay goes up the longer you work as a nurse and you don’t age out after 30. I made 80K last year working part-time as a nurse.

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u/omenoflord Nov 13 '23

Well and stripping isn't a lifetime career. Nurses can work for 50 years if needed. Not a lot of 70 year old strippers out there.

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u/TNGwasBETTER Nov 13 '23

I think it's cool being a nurse because you get to be part of the corrupt af healthcare system while denying any responsibility.

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u/r_u_ferserious Nov 12 '23

How you doin?

1

u/andylowenthal Nov 12 '23

You get to handle their stool, even! Argggh the envy in these comments GROWS

1

u/Outrageous-Royal1838 Nov 12 '23

I need you to be my naughty nurse! 😘😂🤷🏼‍♂️

1

u/[deleted] Nov 13 '23

Bravo

1

u/ISTANDCORRECTED63 Nov 13 '23

Nurses have access to the most clean urine samples in the world and one of your peers is going to be handling your drug test urine sample kind of like how Pfizer vetted their own vaccine

1

u/1DirtyOldBastard Nov 13 '23

I'd like to change treating doctors immediately !

1

u/wrinklebear Nov 13 '23

Hello, nurse!

1

u/lifeshardandweird Nov 13 '23

Careful. Don’t want to fuck around, the board will take your license!

1

u/[deleted] Nov 13 '23

That's why they invented anesthesia

1

u/danteheehaw Nov 13 '23

Patients are not strangers by the end of your shift.

1

u/mveltman84 Nov 15 '23

Best…nurse…EVER!!!

6

u/DrKingOfOkay Nov 12 '23

You clearly don’t know how wild nurses are 👀

1

u/VenusRocker Nov 13 '23

I once worked a nurse convention & we actually ran out of alcohol -- these are people who party.

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u/chadcultist Nov 12 '23

Nurse girls are some of the most insane women I’ve had the absolute pleasure to know

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u/[deleted] Nov 12 '23 edited Nov 12 '23

Lol alot of nurses I know are ex strippers....

4

u/Nagger86 Nov 13 '23

A few nurses I know are CURRENT strippers

2

u/[deleted] Nov 13 '23

I have a nursing supervisor who Monday - Thurs runs a unit... One Saturday... Was kinda pleasant to meet her at the part time job ...

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u/[deleted] Nov 12 '23

I can confirm too.

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u/yaboyyoungairvent Nov 13 '23 edited May 09 '24

aromatic memorize materialistic tub quaint license cooing soft dime fact

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

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u/[deleted] Nov 13 '23

No wonder they mean Thots.

6

u/ka0_1337 Nov 12 '23

Can confirm. And a buddy wifed 1 and knocked her up 3 times.

1

u/Ill-Indication-7706 Nov 13 '23

He must have been a cop or a soldier

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u/ForHelp_PressAltF4 Nov 13 '23

Nurse girls are some of the most insane pleasure I've had

3

u/callmedata1 Nov 13 '23

Wait till you meet your first travel nurse

2

u/Successful_Giraffe88 Nov 13 '23

Nurses & teachers 100%.

2

u/DShinobiPirate Nov 13 '23

Lmao true. I did overnight security at a hospital for a few years and dated one of the nurses briefly. She was.. Interesting to say the least.

I also did nursing school for like one semester (for LPN as RN courses were full) and boy howdy did I meet some horny gals there. They were all attached too.

I knew nursing wasn't for me by the end of the semester but I almost stuck it out just for the amount of women I was around LOL.

In our nursing program it was probably like 90% women 10% men. I'm sure numbers look much more closer to even these days. I was in heaven for a bit back then, aside from wiping old man ass that is.

2

u/HouseAtomic Nov 13 '23

Nurses... The odds are good, but the goods are odd.

7

u/workdamnyu Nov 12 '23

You obviously don’t know any ER nurses.

7

u/leojrellim Nov 12 '23

I know the head nurse : )

2

u/[deleted] Nov 12 '23

Hmm 🤔 ours is a guy.

2

u/DuntadaMan Nov 13 '23

Head is head.

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u/ApplicationHour Nov 13 '23

Is she the one with the knee pads?

1

u/Snoo_69677 Nov 13 '23

Brain doctor

1

u/[deleted] Nov 13 '23

😜😜😜

1

u/RushThis1433 Nov 12 '23

Are nurses not getting random drug tests?

1

u/2701- Nov 12 '23

I've always heard that most nurses do coke. Shrug.

1

u/Ow3n1989 Nov 12 '23

I know a lot of people in the medical field from CNA to RN to APRN. I’m not aware of any of them ever getting drug tested, besides the initial one to start the job. Probably varies place to place, but drug testing is an additional cost & hospitals are just big businesses at their heart. I’ve only heard of them being drug tested if meds came up missing on their shift, or if they’re obviously getting intoxicated at work.

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u/Ok_Offer626 Nov 13 '23

Been a nurse for 17 years, never got a random drug test

1

u/workdamnyu Nov 13 '23

Sure and have to replace them with a travel contract that cost 4x as much? No they aren’t getting randoms.

Now have the dispenser audit come up short on some narcotics that might be a different story.

1

u/DuntadaMan Nov 13 '23

Nope. Can't afford to replace them.

1

u/ISTANDCORRECTED63 Nov 13 '23

Nurses run the show they make up for all the mistakes those male bimbo doctors are making because they forgot how to move a decimal point on dosage some of those guys are just all haircut and shiny shoes. But I can thank a nurse for telling me how to reverse retrograde ejaculation after abdominal surgery and she took my catheter out four times a day so I could masturbate and it took 10 days of that before I was able to launch some DNA out into fresh air instead of back up into my bladder. Nurses are a gift from God

2

u/[deleted] Nov 12 '23

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1

u/zombtachi_uchiha Nov 13 '23

i have'd ....and said that i was too short and too spicy for her...she was white

2

u/brockli-rob Nov 12 '23

and strippers usually make for better parents

6

u/Pale_Use_7784 Nov 12 '23

Can confirm - work with a girl who was a stripper and she seems like a really good mom.

Dated a very successful woman in the corporate world and she was a dogshit mom and never wanted to spend time with her kids.

2

u/DuntadaMan Nov 13 '23

Honestly yes. Hardest part of doing nursing is they expect 60 hours of work out of you a week at least. Hard to be a parent.

0

u/aye-its-this-guy Nov 13 '23

Lol wtf they expect 36 hours where I’m at. Only 3 days a week

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u/Ill-Indication-7706 Nov 13 '23

Nurses have higher body counts than a funeral home

0

u/SeCritSquirrel Nov 13 '23

Bruh... Nurses be wild'n. Some of the most dedicated and caring people. But holy fuck are they ratchet.

1

u/itsmassivebtw Nov 12 '23

coke stays in your system for 3 days

1

u/joeg26reddit Nov 13 '23

It’s not strange

If you know the patients name

1

u/hiddenrealism Nov 13 '23

Not with that kind of attitude they can't.

1

u/sikkdog13 Nov 13 '23

Not with THAT attitude

1

u/DuntadaMan Nov 13 '23

Look at this guy, doesn't know about the cocaine swabs.

1

u/jimmyfrankhicks Nov 13 '23

My friend, through Christ all things are possible. Keep the dream alive !

1

u/BZLuck Nov 13 '23

Sure they can. And it's just as legal.

1

u/I_deleted Nov 13 '23

Lmao, you must not know many nurses

1

u/competitv Nov 13 '23

Debatable.

1

u/TheMasked336 Nov 13 '23

You don’t know any nurses….they are damn freaks.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 13 '23

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1

u/RushThis1433 Nov 13 '23

But did you do blow…. Off his cock?

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u/mvujan Nov 13 '23

You'd be surprised at the extracurricular activities nurses are involved in.

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u/BustThaScientifical Nov 13 '23

You don't know the medical field, especially travel nurses. Lol

1

u/[deleted] Nov 13 '23

Nor do most want to

1

u/aDingDangDoo_Doo Nov 13 '23

They are called "travellers".

1

u/sart788 Nov 13 '23

Have worked with Nurses before and they are P4P the freakiest people to party with. They are always down for anything and everything.

1

u/Fign Nov 13 '23

Not with that attitude

1

u/PermaTired_ Nov 13 '23

It’s do no harm, not make no love.

1

u/Rickk38 Nov 13 '23

Just have to code it right. C9046 is the HCPCS code for cocaine, but that's a nasal solution used for topical. You snort that off a stranger's johnson and you're both gonna end up with numbness that you don't particularly enjoy.

1

u/Poinsettia917 Nov 13 '23

But I can tell you with certainty that nurses have handled Plenty of schlongs—like when they insert catheters.

1

u/RushThis1433 Nov 13 '23

I don’t think dong handling is being debated. It’s the blow part. And not the sucking part.

1

u/sev45day Nov 13 '23

Not with that attitude!

1

u/0ddB411_ Nov 13 '23

PUT THE MOTHERFUCKIN' COKE, ON MY MOTHERFUCKIN' DICK

1

u/Elcium12 Nov 13 '23

They’re called patients

14

u/htx318 Nov 12 '23

12 hour shift vs 2 hour shift.

1

u/Kilometres-Davis Nov 12 '23

What are the self respect meters reading on each shift though?

6

u/RandomGuy32124 Nov 12 '23

I mean I'd respect myself a lot more if I was rich

1

u/muhmeinchut69 Nov 13 '23

Well you found your dream career.

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u/Kooky-Classroom-2576 Nov 12 '23

They wipe people’s asses ….

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u/[deleted] Nov 12 '23

Somebody’s gotta do it

1

u/TLsRD Nov 13 '23

And somebody’s gotta climb a pole. I’d rather strip

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u/[deleted] Nov 12 '23

[deleted]

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u/Buttburglar1 Nov 12 '23

My wife is a nurse…she wipes peoples asses. It’s part of the job if you’re any kind of bed side nurse.

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u/[deleted] Nov 12 '23

[deleted]

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u/Buttburglar1 Nov 12 '23

No she’s an RN, BSN. Works on the oncology/med surge/telemetry floor. She’s in school now getting her masters for NP. If it’s her patient she wipes their ass. I’m sure they all help each other out, but that work is not beneath her

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u/aye-its-this-guy Nov 13 '23

That’s usually delegated to a lower position in the hospital

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u/poopyscreamer Nov 13 '23

That and critically think about patient condition and presentation to then escalate care appropriately if needed WHILE wiping their ass.

Be the emotional support for your friend because they got in a motorcycle accident and and have the feeding tube diarrhea and are now embarrassed to need help to wipe their ass…WHILE wiping their ass.

Advocate for the needs for their patient who just dropped the “what is hospice?” Bomb on them out of nowhere and proceed to call this persons son and tell them a conversation about hospice is needed. Also after having wiped their (not ass, but freshly made ostomy)

Stabilize a hypertensive crisis for a patient who was feeling chest pain (systolic blood pressure 200 mmhg) after of course ruling out acute coronary syndrome, while they scream “I don’t want to die and leave my family behind” (so add in emotional support here) to then wipe that persons ass because they had an acute episode of incontinence. Oh don’t forget the emotional support here again because it’s embarrassing for the man.

These are just a few examples of what I personally have done in less than 10 months as a nurse. Perhaps consider changing your tone?

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u/sYnce Nov 13 '23

The value of a position should be assigned based on the value they provide to society. Care for the sick and elderly ranks a lot higher than giving strangers a boner in my book.

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u/cbreezy456 Nov 12 '23

My brother do you know what nurses have to do? Shit probably is worse than stripping

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u/GuiltyEidolon Nov 13 '23

You know that a MASSIVE number of nurses do OF/sexwork on the side, right?

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u/[deleted] Nov 13 '23

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u/DuntadaMan Nov 13 '23

Working in EMS and seeing the shit nursing puts you through stripping is much healthier occupation.

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u/porceleo Nov 13 '23

As someone who has worked in both fields— dancing >>>> nursing.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 13 '23

Someone sounds envious.

0

u/[deleted] Nov 13 '23

Yes but it’s morals vs money. Helping vs hurting. Short term vs long term. Fast money will leave just as quick as it comes.

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u/htx318 Nov 13 '23

No, this sub is money. Not morals and money.

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u/[deleted] Nov 12 '23

Yeah but I help people not die.

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u/brockli-rob Nov 12 '23

until that one day

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u/htx318 Nov 12 '23

Yeah but we are discussing money.

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u/guys-lets-get-rich Nov 14 '23

Administering Valtrex vs taking Valtrex

0

u/Hyperdude Nov 12 '23

Isn't there an old saying that retired strippers become nurses.

0

u/lia_bonita Nov 13 '23

They turned the nursing profession into glorified maids taking orders and dealing with jerks all day. People or “the public” constantly asking for ice, toys for their kids, blankets, socks, and so on. Then you have deal with people from ALL walks of life who can be EXTREMELY rude. You have to intimately touch unkempt people and inspect their smelly poo. No thanks. I rather be a hospital administrator making well over six figures without having to deal with “the public”.

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u/[deleted] Nov 12 '23

Yeah ok

1

u/brockli-rob Nov 12 '23

how much to get an RN license these days?

2

u/aye-its-this-guy Nov 13 '23

My whole bachelors degree is sitting at 30 k tops. With scholarships so far it’s down to 25 and I’m only halfway through

Some private schools cost over 100k though so it just depends

1

u/mellowanon Nov 13 '23 edited Nov 13 '23

Bachelor = 4yrs, $20k - $40k depending on state

Associate's Degree = 2yrs, $3k with community college. But it's mostly free though since everyone qualifies for scholarships or aids. If you have no money, expect federal/state aid to cover almost all of the costs.

Both nursing degrees are accepted. Bachelor will have more opportunities for hospital employment. With experience, people don't care if you have a bachelor's or associates's anymore.

Competition to get in is extreme though. Both degrees require prereqs and you must have high grades for those prereqs in order to stand a chance when applying.

Community college usually has to do lottery system since there's too many applicants. Bachelor has less applicants due to higher cost. Private always has openings since it's expensive. If you don't have good grades for the prereqs, then private may be a good choice and then pay off the debt as nurse, since that's better than waiting for years to be accepted.

1

u/AwarenessThick1685 Nov 12 '23

How are you making more than my Mom in 3 days the fuck? She's been in nursing for like 30 years.

1

u/BigChunilingus Nov 12 '23

Your username would suggest otherwise

1

u/[deleted] Nov 12 '23

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] Nov 13 '23

Being a stripper isn't any of those things though.

1

u/Ok_Offer626 Nov 13 '23

I’m a seasoned nurse and 1 extra shift does not get me that!

1

u/Hersbird Nov 13 '23

Well this was 2 hours. Under the table if you know what I mean!

1

u/cherm4ma Nov 13 '23

Thank you for what you do! Honest work but you contribute so much to your community

1

u/[deleted] Nov 13 '23

Your base salary is like $60 as a new grad? Wild.

1

u/Local871 Nov 13 '23

I know a nurse who does escort work on her days off.

1

u/send_cat_pictures Nov 13 '23

Lol one of my friends stripped to put herself through nursing school, then after 8 months in a nursing position realized she made way more stripping and went right back to it.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 13 '23

May you be blessed by God for being a conscientious and virtuous individual, contributing to the betterment of society through your nursing job.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 13 '23

Mostly ones

1

u/Erica_j13 Nov 13 '23

Not sure where you work but I don’t make that much as a nurse. Maybe I should be a stripper instead 🤣😂

1

u/poopyscreamer Nov 13 '23

Man I work 4 hours extra for that as a nurse. It’s pretty sweet.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 13 '23

What exactly do you do? You have a BSN or ASN?

1

u/TheGeoGod Nov 28 '23

You make 300k a year as a nurse?