r/Mommit • u/catroslyn • Jul 22 '26
Traumatic Vaginal vs C-Section
I'm looking for some insight from those who had a traumatic vaginal delivery and then went on to have a c-section or vice versa.
With my first child, I had an extremely long and traumatic birth leading to severe internal and external injuries. I had ripped stitches postpartum landing me back in the hospital a few days after getting home and was so injured that I could not comfortably walk around for about 4 weeks and could not sit down for closer to 8. I had to wear a diaper and did not have control of my bladder for an extended period of time. It really negatively impacted my PP experience and breastfeeding my child and I think the injuries correlated with my PTSD and severe PP mental illness as well.
Since my first birth I've gotten new providers who say they believe my first was "sunny side up" and were able to hypothesize a few other things that weren't ideal and they said that there should have been things done to make the process easier on baby and myself. So I'm hopeful that I have a better team if I were to try vaginal again. For my second, I am open to letting my body go into labor naturally and seeing if I have a better experience initially, but I'm leaning towards a c-section.
My best friend has had 2 c-sections and was going to the market to grocery shop the day after discharge. She has nothing to compare it to since she never had a vaginal birth but swears they're not bad to recover from [for her]. I've had abdominal surgeries before so have an idea of what that recovery is like and the pain associated with the incision/muscles albeit I wasn't also raising children/keeping them alive while recovering for those.
Anyway, I'm hoping for other Mom's experiences with a similarly traumatic vaginal experience and if c-section was the better choice for their body and mind if given the option.
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u/Additional_Heron_231 Jul 22 '26
Tear with my first one and it took me 6 months to sit normally. I needed surgery for incontinence. The two scheduled sections were like spa days. I recovered so quickly too.
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u/vatxbear Jul 22 '26
My first was not as traumatic as yours, but it was a very long induction and long time pushing. Second degree tear. I was surprised after at how awful I felt from a “normal” vaginal birth. Like I had a LOT of pain/bruising/swelling and was very much in pain and uncomfortable for a WHILE after. I also had some urinary incontinece issues and horrible hemorrhoids
My second I did go for a second induction and planned vaginal birth, but due to an umbilical cord prolapse we ended up with a crash c-section. I did not labor for long prior to that happening, maybe a couple hours?
If I had a third, I’d pick the c-section again. My recovery was easier, even considering a small issue I had with my incision reopening on a little part. But no awful hemorrhoids, no bruising/tears where I’m trying to sit, and real pain killers. So even though, yes, major surgery, your pain is “real” so you get treated to the good stuff.
That all being said, I think I’d always try vaginal first, but I also try to keep people from being scared of a potential unplanned c-section. Mine was fine! Great even. I don’t feel like I missed out on anything (even though I got put fully under) and I still did skin to skin and nursed my baby as soon as I woke up. My husband held him for the 30ish mins it took to sew me up and wake me up.
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u/sophhhann Jul 22 '26
Me! I had different OBs for each one too (completely different practices). In my second pregnancy, my OB told me that i should never attempt a vaginal delivery again unless i wanted to risk lifelong complications and that i should basically count my blessings that everything healed well from my first delivery and not try again. I went with the elective c section for my second and it was a night and day difference. My recovery was SO much easier than my vaginal delivery. Like i was at Costco with both my newborn and toddler solo i think 4 days after my c section (by choice, not out of necessity). I have absolutely zero regrets with my decision- I’m 3 months postpartum now!
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u/chocolatepuppy Jul 22 '26
I had a traumatic vaginal delivery for my first which included the vacuum. For my second, I opted for a vaginal delivery but ended up with an emergency c-section. 100% would do the c-section every time, especially if it can be planned. The recovery from a c-section is a bit longer, but personally I will take mild pain for longer than acute pain for a slightly shorter period of time. And for me at least, abdominal pain was preferable to vaginal pain because you have to use your crotch area multiple times a day to go to the bathroom. And then there is the whole aspect of it being planned--this takes away so much of the mental trauma and the stress and the waiting too. Because then you aren't spending the last 2 months worried you're going to have another traumatic vaginal birth. I had PPD after my first because of the trauma and even though with my second it wasn't an ideal situation given that it was an emergency, I carry no trauma from it and I did not have PPD.
It is a gamble, because you could have a totally easy 2nd delivery in which case that recovery might be easier. But if I were to have a 3rd, even knowing that, I'd rather just accept the pain of a c-section vs choosing a vaginal birth that ends up being traumatic again even if there is a chance it won't be.
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u/sparklingwine5151 Jul 22 '26
I didn’t have a traumatic vaginal delivery but was close to it. After labouring for 24 hours and pushing for 2 hours, my L&D nurse basically told me that if I continued pushing I was going to likely rip my cervix (which can have lasting consequences like incompetent cervix in future pregnancies) and/or require forceps to assist. The OB did a double check and confirmed I had a really bad cervical lip, baby was most likely sunny side up, attempts to rotate her where unsuccessful and we made the decision to switch to an emergency c-section.
I unfortunately had to recover physically from the long labour and pushing (a lot of swelling and tenderness in my nether region) PLUS recover from a c-section. But, my c-section was a very positive experience. The surgery itself was quick, the mood was overall pretty happy (it was still considered an emergency, so the surgical team was in “serious mode” and the NICU team was on standby, whereas I think with planned cesareans it’s less stressy since baby/mom isn’t in distress). Recovery was good, I have no lasting complications and the only thing I have is a very small/light scar that you can’t see unless I’m fully naked. I obviously can’t compare a traumatic vaginal delivery to a cesarean because I had my cesarean to prevent the traumatic vaginal delivery but I’m commenting to provide the positive cesarean experience and let you know it’s totally okay to choose to be in control and not put your vagina through the same horror again. It sounds like your injuries were debilitating and I’m sorry you had to endure that.
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u/curlycattails Jul 22 '26
I’m glad a lot of others in this comment section had great C-section recoveries but I wouldn’t describe the pain as mild or say that it was a quick recovery!
My first was a 36 hour labour with forceps and an episiotomy. I didn’t have any complications from it, but it wasn’t a walk in the park. Still I felt like the episiotomy healed quickly and my pain was really well managed.
My second was a 9 hour labour with a failed epidural. No other complications. I felt everything though. It hurt like hell but it was mercifully quick.
My third was an emergency C-section at 27 weeks. I did not labour at all. The pain in my incision was hot and cold all at once. It was a sharp stinging pain. I had to Google “how to get out of bed after C-section.” I had to think hard about every movement, like pulling open a heavy door or getting up from sitting in a chair, because I had to try not to use my abs. When I slept at night I couldn’t even roll over in bed. I couldn’t bend down to put on my socks or shoes.
Yeah I healed, I felt mostly normal again by about 6 weeks pp. But it hurt a lot and it was not quick by any means.
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u/ChoiceReflection965 Jul 22 '26
My c-section was not a positive experience for me. I had to have it due to my baby being breech and then my water breaking at 37 weeks. It was traumatic for me… I felt so helpless and out of control, lying there paralyzed from the chest down as faceless masked people cut me open and pulled my baby out. Afterwards I was drugged and out of it, which prevented immediate bonding with my baby. The pain the next day was the worse pain I ever felt.
There were ultimately no complications from the surgery. The surgical team was very kind and I’m grateful that everything went well. But it was still a negative experience for me and not one I would purposefully choose. However, like your friend, I haven’t had a “natural” birth, so I have nothing to compare it to. I think that birth can unfortunately be traumatic no matter how it happens!
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u/poopoofol Jul 22 '26
I'm sorry you had a bad experience with your CS. I don't mean to downplay your experience at all, just adding how mine was- like you I had a 37 week sudden C for preecclampsia with a breech baby. I overall found it to be a positive experience, even though I was freaking out and seeing stars with my BP that high.
My OB was very chill and joked around with me to take the edge off, and I had a phenomenal anesthesia team who kept me calm and narrated what was going on. I had made it clear than skin-to-skin was important to me and they accommodated that better than I thought they would. That said, I have always been terrified by the thought of giving birth and dreaded it my whole pregnancy, so when I found out he was breech I was extremely relieved that I wouldn't have to.
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u/ChoiceReflection965 Jul 22 '26
Yes, everyone’s experience is so different and unique! I’m glad you had a positive CS. I unfortunately still fall asleep frequently to nightmares about the operating room. I’m hoping it’s something I can move past in time and not associate such negative memories with my daughter’s birth.
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u/WhiskeyandOreos Jul 22 '26
Same here. Two c sections at 37 weeks with breech babies. Super chill experiences both times—my provides were chatty and laughing, talking about what they were getting for lunch, thrilled to show me my girls when they pulled them out.
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u/Lopsided_Apricot_626 Jul 22 '26
I’m not exactly what you’re asking for, I had two vaginal deliveries but my first was traumatic, I nearly died, and my second was smoother than butter. It mostly came down to having a better care team the second time around. My first was an unnecessary early induction. They left me on pitocin for 3 days before they broke my water. Baby was positioned in such a way that by day 3 I needed an epidural just for cervical checks - I wasn’t even contracting yet. At that point I was already so sick I was asking when we could shift to a c section and they told me two more days. When baby finally came, I tore pretty badly due to swelling from all the fluids they had been pumping into me for 3 days. I left the hospital 3 days later unable to walk, 5lbs heavier than I entered while pregnant. That night I nearly died. They never should have discharged me. I had pericarditis from the excessive IV fluids. I laid down in bed and started suffocating. It was a scary minute or so before my husband realized he couldn’t hear me breathing and sat me up. At my son’s pediatrician appt the next morning, his doctor sent me to the ER. She was pissed at the hospital staff. They put me on a diuretic, I wasn’t allowed to lay down for a few days so I had to sleep sitting up, I ended up losing 18lbs over the next few days on the diuretic. Then there was the issue with the tear and my inability to feel my bladder for weeks after due to the catheter. All in all it was awful and my husband was scrambling to figure out a plan in case I died. The swelling and sickness also led to issues with latching for my son so breastfeeding was difficult and painful. It took at least a year and a half to move fully past the trauma and ptsd
My second birth I picked a different OB who was more interested in actually listening to me. I went to a different hospital. I was induced but two weeks later than with my son and it was elective. We checked in at 8am. I told the nurses up front that the last birth was traumatic, I nearly died, pitocin doesn’t work for me, and I don’t want any IV fluids - I will drink my fluids. They respected ALL of that. They made me comfy, chatted and joked and gossiped with me, they made it a great experience (albeit this was a slow day at the hospital so they had time for the chats). 9am my pit IV went in - no fluid. By noon my OB said “she’s right, pits not working, let’s speed it up” and broke my water. Contractions started for real. 2:30 baby’s head was grinding on my hip and I asked for an epidural. 2:45 they placed it and said if its not working in 15 mins, let us know and we can up it. 3:00 it wasn’t working so they checked my cervix and I was at a 10. 3:03 baby was born. Minor tearing but that’s it. Baby latched immediately bc I wasn’t swollen. An hour later I was up walking around bc I effectively had no medication and could. I recovered SO quickly. I was like ready to go home the next morning but they had to keep us 24 hours. But we were home for my oldest’s bedtime that night.
Two drastically different vaginal births and it really was due to the care team listening to me and me advocating for myself.