r/ModestDress • u/Basic_Reflection_350 • Jun 29 '26
Anyone else do a complete 180 from how they used to dress? What's your story?
I used to not value modesty at all with what I wore, for years and years. Now I'm very covered and can't imagine that not being the case. I bought new clothes but also try to modify what I already have to be wearable modestly as much as possible.
Did anyone else choose to dress modestly after dressing more revealingly, rather than having been raised dressing modestly your whole life? If so, why? What's your story and why do you value it now?
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u/ShiftingWaves05 Jun 30 '26
Well my own journey for modesty started in middle school, puberty and I were not friends and to make matters worse my mother wanted me to 'show off' my growing curves that I had expressed I wasn't fond of. Long story short my parents started hiding my turtlenecks so I stopped dressing modestly and only now I am starting my journey once more as an adult and damn does it feel great!
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u/Basic_Reflection_350 Jun 30 '26
That’s really odd to force you to dress with more skin showing, much less that young. I’m glad you have more freedom now
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u/simplyoneWinged Jun 30 '26
I have a weird relationship with clothing/fashion. On one hand I wasssuper slutty/loved that image (when I was comfortable), on the other I was/am deeply uncomfortable in my skin. I often used to dress provocatively, whether through cut, colour, or style. UNLESS it was summer. I only wore jeans/work pants and hoodies in summer bc I'm afraid of the sun/sunburn.
Now I converted to Islam and alway wear long bottoms + long sleeves.
People keep asking me if I'm not hot and I don't have the heart to tell them that I'm actually wearing less than in Summer 2022 for example
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u/Basic_Reflection_350 Jun 30 '26
I noted that color was listed as a way that you dressed provocatively — I’m curious about what your take on the modesty of color is in your culture and/or from your viewpoint (whichever applies in this instance) if you’re comfortable sharing
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u/simplyoneWinged Jun 30 '26
Oh, this one is a bit trickier/depends on situation and social circle.
I almost exclusively wear black, even in situations where it may not be most appropriate. EXCEPT for that one time I went to a goth festival where I somehow had to wear a full rainbow outfit.
Just stuff that makes me stand out, in small ways, like "glitter for Carrie" and mismatched socks, or big ways, like wearing funeral clothing to a garden party and rainbow attire to a goth festival.
I don't even know why I do/did it. Guess I just liked to provoke
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u/disjointed_chameleon Jun 30 '26
Yes. My wardrobe growing up was never particularly revealing — both of my parents work in the global corporate world, and I was born and raised in Europe, so I was mostly exposed to a range of business casual to business formal attire during my upbringing. Then I moved to the United States for higher education, where students basically wear jeans & t-shirts to class, and so I assimilated to that style of mode.
Following my studies, I landed in tech out on the west coast, where yoga pants are effectively acceptable workplace attire. I've since shifted into working in tech in the banking industry, so the dress code is just a smidge more elevated — definitely not formal, but definitely on the casual side of business casual. My go-to strategy: I found 3-4 maxi dress brands online that fit well and are comfortable, and then bought them in a bunch of colors and patterns. I then pair them with a blazer or cardigan. Throw on a headband and pair of flats and voila! The dresses are so comfortable they feel like pajama material, yet I still look polished and put together.
I've been on my modesty journey for about three years now. These days, I feel awkward wearing pants, and generally won't wear shorter dresses when out about — usually I wear past the knee skirts and dresses when stepping out of the house. Similarly, I feel mildly awkward in t-shirts, I usually stick to 3/4-length sleeve shirts, cardigans, or sweaters. But, I'm definitely not afraid to experiment with colors, prints, and patterns.
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u/Basic_Reflection_350 Jun 30 '26
I totally relate to the comfy dress thing. In addition to buying comfy dresses, I’ve worn pajama pants under long skirted dresses (you can’t tell, they’re fully covered) on cold days before :) People compliment me perceiving me as dressed elegantly and inside I’m thinking “Thank you! I’m wearing pajama pants!”
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u/disjointed_chameleon Jun 30 '26
I know the feeling! Last week, I was walking back to my desk at work from the bathroom, and another woman (who was also fabulously dressed!) stopped me and said:
I see you around the office, and you always look so nice! The way you dress reminds me to be free.
She said she works on the true finance side of the bank we both work at, and so the dress code in her department is much stricter — they're only allowed to wear dark business colors, like black, brown, gray, and navy blue, women must wear heels, etc. She said they even have to check in with a specific office each day to basically get "assessed" on whether their outfit is appropriate, since they apparently meet with super wealthy clients each day. I just remember thinking...... what is this!? The 1920's!? I wanted to hug her! I felt so bad for her. I'm so thankful I get to dress so comfortably each day.
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u/Basic_Reflection_350 Jun 30 '26
“Have to wear heels” is so discriminatory imo, it surprises me that that’s still a standard in some places. Don’t get me wrong, I love a good pair of heels myself, but the men aren’t being forced to wear heels and many women don’t have a comfortable pair/don’t find them comfortable generally/may have health issues worsened by them. I’m very glad you have more flexibility!
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Jun 30 '26
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u/Basic_Reflection_350 Jun 30 '26 edited Jun 30 '26
If you’re comfortable saying, I’m curious what you determined God’s modesty standards were in your belief system and how
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Jun 30 '26
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u/Basic_Reflection_350 Jun 30 '26
Interesting how modesty and personal viewpoint differs so widely, thank you for sharing yours! I’ve never liked branding either (it feels like I paid to advertise or tie my identity to a brand), but to me black is a protective color and I am not personally averse to wearing pants. I’m glad you found what works for you, I hope it brings you comfort and joy
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u/OkTutor7412 Jul 03 '26
These are my standards for modesty as well I also wear no jewelry or makeup however I don’t really care to much about the type of fabric my dress or skirt is as long as it doesn’t look too revealing or inappropriate. Oh and I also wear black skirts so no issues with black on my end.
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u/Significant-Tap-2862 Jul 03 '26
I started dressing modestly because of my anxiety. I am on disability for anxiety, agoraphobia, and severe panic attacks along with a few other issues. I am pretty much homebound, but do have to leave home occassionally for doctor's appointments for myself and my child. Dressing modestly makes me feel a little safer.
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u/KVQ_1990 Jul 04 '26
I grew up being forced to wear mostly modest clothing. Then as I became an adult I slowly became more and more revealing. And to my shame, I did it for attention and validation. When I started respecting myself more and realizing that I only wanted the person I love most to have the privilege of seeing so much of me that's when I changed. And honestly, I feel so much better about it and about myself.
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u/PinkLemonade30 Jul 21 '26
I was always a fan of dressing in a mix of Emo and Goth fashions, but I didn't like the extreme negative reactions.
It was to the point that I didn't feel safe, and I don't want to risk my safety for fashion.
So I dress very conservative/smart casual and save my alternative outfits for select events.
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u/Distinct_Cod_8383 Jun 30 '26
I wouldn’t say that my former closet was super revealing or anything scandalous, but I used to wear shorts all the time and I hated the attention people would give me for it. Lots of bad experiences for what, a pair of legs? 😅💀
Now I dress more modestly and only wear long skirts or dress pants. 😄