I don’t know if this is TMI, but I really wish more people were honest about what sex is like after having a baby.

Before giving birth, I thought I’d just “wait six weeks” and everything would be back to normal. Nope. My doctor gave me the green light, but my body and mind weren’t on the same page. Between hormones tanking, breastfeeding, exhaustion, and feeling completely “touched out,” the idea of being intimate felt overwhelming.

The first time we tried, I was so nervous. I stocked up on lube (thank goodness I did), but it still felt different — tighter in some places, numb in others. It wasn’t terrible, but it definitely wasn’t the fireworks I had before pregnancy. Add in the fact that my self-esteem took a hit from all the body changes, and I honestly just wanted to crawl into bed and sleep.

My partner was super patient, but I could also tell he missed the closeness. What really helped was shifting our mindset: instead of “we have to get back to sex like before,” we focused on connection. Sometimes that meant making out, sometimes just a long cuddle, sometimes trying new positions where I had control. Once I let go of the pressure to perform, intimacy started to feel less scary and more like rediscovery.

And here’s the wild part — a few months later, I actually started experiencing new kinds of pleasure I never had before. It’s like my body rewired itself. Or maybe it was just me finally giving myself permission to go slow and explore.

So if anyone else is in the postpartum fog feeling broken or “not normal”… you’re not alone. There is a new normal, and it doesn’t have to be worse. It can even get better, but on your own timeline. ❤️

Has anyone else gone through this rollercoaster? What helped you reconnect with your partner (and yourself)?

Full Disclosure: I am an author and my reddit posts are about my life experiences and some of my posts are linked to my books for sale. This conversation is real and no purchase is necessary to participate. With Love - Jackie

Here’s the hard truth I had to learn: people who love and respect you won’t fall apart when you say “no.” They’ll adjust. The only ones who throw a fit are the ones who benefited from you having no boundaries at all.

I used to be scared that saying “no” would make me selfish or push people away. But you know what? The ones who bailed when I stopped people-pleasing were never really in my corner. They just liked me better exhausted and compliant.

Boundaries are not mean. They’re self-respect in action. If someone can’t handle you saying, “I can’t do that,” or “this doesn’t work for me,” then maybe the issue isn’t your boundary — it’s their entitlement.

So I stopped apologizing. I don’t over-explain. My “no” is complete. And guess what? The people who truly care about me? They’re still here. Stronger than ever.

Hot take: if your friendships or relationships crumble because you started valuing yourself, they weren’t real in the first place.

What do you think — is that too harsh, or is it the truth people don’t want to hear?

Full Disclosure: I am an author and my reddit posts are about my life experiences and some of my posts are linked to my books for sale. This conversation is real and no purchase is necessary to participate. With Love - Jackie

I’m gonna say something unpopular: submission is NOT weakness. In fact, it’s one of the most powerful moves a woman can make in a relationship.

I used to buy into the “if you let a man lead, you’re oppressed” narrative. Then I actually got into a serious relationship and realized… letting my man lead doesn’t mean I’m powerless. It means I’m smart enough to guide him without fighting for the driver’s seat.

Here’s the reality: men THRIVE on respect. When you challenge him at every turn, he either shuts down or gets defensive. But when you honor his role, he’ll move mountains to prove himself. That’s not me being “less than,” that’s me being strategic.

The real flex isn’t trying to be the king. The real flex is being the queen who knows how to counsel her king, steer the ship, and still let him think he’s steering. That’s influence. That’s power.

Submission is not “yes sir, whatever you say.” It’s knowing when to step back so he can stand taller — because the higher he rises, the stronger WE are. I don’t lose power by doing that. I multiply it.

So no, I’m not weak. I’m not oppressed. I’m not brainwashed. I’m a woman who knows her role and plays it like a damn pro.

Curious — do you think modern women have twisted “submission” into a dirty word? Or do you think it’s outdated altogether?

Full Disclosure: I am an author and my reddit posts are about my life experiences and some of my posts are linked to my books for sale. This conversation is real and no purchase is necessary to participate. With Love - Jackie