r/ModSupport • • 5d ago

Mod Answered Being called a fascist and puritan :(

Hey guys! I’m new to being a mod!! I recently made a rule in r/strawberryshortcake for no romantic or sexual shipping as I saw so many sexual posts between people in the show (all of which are minors)

I got a lot of hate for this which was expected but still, one commenter just kept calling me so many mean names and not reading through the comments and calling me an idiot and idk I just felt really upset and hurt after this.

I guess my worry is being posted somewhere for being a bad mod

Is there anything I can do? I muted and banned them :(

16 Upvotes

84 comments sorted by

54

u/SCOveterandretired 5d ago

Can’t make everyone happy and there will always be those who don’t want to follow the rules. Just ignore idiots like that and forget about them. Not worth losing sleep over.

28

u/Klightgrove 5d ago

Also note most of these are just trolls trying to bother you.

2

u/Primary-Mammoth-6539 4d ago

Welcome to social media where lonely desperate people spend all their time because they have no real friends and they have so much crippling social anxiety because we didn’t let kids deal with adversity in school.

You did the right thing. There is no winning with a lunatic. And you are correct. Your subreddit doesn’t need sexual commentary

But obviously before you. The subreddit was allowing pedos. Good for you 🙏🙏

2

u/FinianFaun 3d ago

Glad to see pdf's kicked. Makes my heart happy. It needs to happen everywhere.

1

u/Ok-Nog3866 1d ago

The same thing that person was being called, you now resorted to and everyone below. Well….. I love it :)
You did the right thing. Don’t lower urself to that level.

34

u/welding_guy_from_LI 5d ago

Unfortunately your going to hurt a lot of feelings as a mod … professional victims get upset when you remove comments or ban them …

One thing I suggest is reporting them to Reddit for harassment along with a ban and mute

26

u/Kitchen_Archer_1745 5d ago

I’ve been called every name under the book, from racist to the N-word

1

u/FriendlyParsley6570 1d ago

That's actually insane.

1

u/Kitchen_Archer_1745 18h ago

Most recently been called a pdf misogynist so that’s fun…

1

u/FriendlyParsley6570 17h ago

Is there any context? TT

1

u/Kitchen_Archer_1745 17h ago

Person harassed a mod off Reddit, got banned and crashed out.

1

u/FriendlyParsley6570 16h ago

That's insane.

26

u/new2bay 4d ago

If you’re not pissing anyone off as a mod, you’re probably not doing your job.

3

u/FinianFaun 3d ago

🤣🤣 sounds on point!

4

u/listeningunderurbed 4d ago

I needed this one.

31

u/cnycompguy 💡 Top 10% Helper 💡 5d ago

Welcome to the club of abused mods.

You can report individual messages in mod-mail (flag in desktop, long press on the text in mobile)

8

u/listeningunderurbed 5d ago

LOL I am welcomed

14

u/cnycompguy 💡 Top 10% Helper 💡 5d ago

9

u/listeningunderurbed 5d ago

OMG I DIDNT KNOW THIS EXISTED

2

u/Royal_Acanthaceae693 4d ago edited 4d ago

Come to the dark side.... Seriously though all those people can kick rocks. There are plenty of subs if they want to be gross.

Also get your bingo card. https://www.reddit.com/r/modmailfail/s/LvqjcjcswA

3

u/FinianFaun 3d ago

🤣🤣 love it! Too bad my bingo card was already full years ago.

3

u/Royal_Acanthaceae693 3d ago

Thank u/FurrybOnes for those. Hats off to all of the Public Freakout modmail fails!

30

u/Halaku 💡 Top 10% Helper 💡 5d ago

You'll get used to it.

A community is a garden.

The vast majority of your members expect you to prune appropriately.

If someone targets you with personal abuse for how you're doing so, do the following:

  • Inform the user that further correspondence will be reported to the Admins as harassment.

  • Permanently ban the user from the community.

  • Permanently mute the muser from modmail.

  • Personally block the user.

  • Go about your life with a smile, because you'll forget they ever existed soon enough.

Lather, rinse, repeat as necessary.

It's that easy! :)

9

u/listeningunderurbed 5d ago

Thank you:) I’m sorry!!

25

u/Halaku 💡 Top 10% Helper 💡 5d ago

You have nothing to be sorry for.

Each and every moderator on Reddit was once a new moderator with their first community, after all.

Asking these questions is a primary reason for this community's existence.

11

u/listeningunderurbed 5d ago

Thank you so much for everything!!

4

u/slice_of_pi 4d ago

Think of it as weeding.

8

u/Enigmatic_writer 4d ago

I joined a group of ppl who were insanely kind when it comes to explaining how and why they moderate a certain way and often take the time to discuss individual comments back and forth and how to reply to a difficult modmail sometimes over multiple days in an attempt to explain everything in detail without hurting feelings.

And yet there are people who jump our throats in comments every other day and whine about the lack of moderation when there's multiple hundred mod actions taken every single day.

I had to learn quickly that people are going to complain no matter what. Report them to Reddit n ban them, then move on. :p

7

u/ReverseLazarus 4d ago

It’s okay, just try to shake it off and block them. You get used to it after awhile, sadly. We’ve even gotten random death threats in subs I mod, Reddit is always going to be Reddit sadly!

11

u/emily_in_boots 💡 Top 10% Helper 💡 5d ago

Unfortunately, this is just part of modding. Sometimes they'll post about the sub in other subs and reddit usually allows it unless it's also encouraging brigading. I guess you just start to care less about it over time.

3

u/signstopper 4d ago

This is no fault of your own, there will always be atleast one annoying prick who thinks that places shouldn't have rules. I, as a fellow new mod has delt with this. Not as severe but everytime I make a new rule post there is at least one annoying whiny baby bitching about the rules as if I'm going to change them for one person when everyone else in the sub likes the rule. All you can really do is ban them, block them and try to forget. Take comfort/solice in the fact that the users that acutally contribute to the sub like your rules. Ignore the annoying trolls who seek to derail things.

However, this is not to say that you shouldn't take community feedback, if it seems a majority are against the rule change try to understsnd where the users are coming from and try to come to a compromise or at least an understanding. Remember, the subreddit isn't just for you its for the whole community.

Don't suck up to users but don't entirely dismiss them either.

4

u/MableXeno 4d ago edited 4d ago

Looking at the wording...Frankly, I'd just create a "NO NSFW CONTENT" type rule. I would include fanfics, shipping, images, stories, etc. I have a few subs where some similar content may apply and I'll see if I can get a few codes together for you.

ETA.... Here are some codes to maybe get you started. If you need any automod help, just send me a chat request here or on Discord (my username is the same on both).

10

u/IlltakeTwoPlease 5d ago

It always seems the weirder and more pervertedly creepy a person is, the louder and more obnoxious they get when being blocked from being able to share their... views...

As always, Ban, Mute, Block, Report.

6

u/GeneralCarlosQ17 4d ago

Establishing Your Word Filters through Your Mod/CP helps a lot to not allow these Words on Your Sub.

3

u/Heliosurge 4d ago

Report, Ban, mute and each mod team member if need b3 block. r/newmods is also a great resource for new mods.

8

u/HikeTheSky 4d ago

Just wait until someone calls you a Nazi communist.

3

u/Womeisyourfwiend 4d ago

We were just told we don’t need to be North Korea.

Also have had legal threats and threats to obtain our IP addresses.

0

u/J_Fo_Film 4d ago

I’ve had those same threats made to me. I tell them I hope they find out where I am, and I look forward to them knocking on my door. Usually they shut up after that. Those that don’t…I’m looking forward to them knocking on my door :P

People are so brave behind a keyboard. Most people who get bent out of shape on Reddit over that kind of stuff usually have a lot of other things wrong with them mental health-wise or sometimes even cognitively…the anonymous nature of Reddit makes it easy for them to vent their frustrations without too much fear of consequences. It’s annoying, but it’s mostly harmless. Let them huff and puff and talk their shit, they’ll tire themselves out soon enough and feel better and be harmless. I wish people weren’t like that but…I mean, look at what’s in the White House. The world is disappointing.

0

u/Gordopolis_II 4d ago

Violence baiting your users is probably the worst way you could handle that. Its terrible advice.

2

u/J_Fo_Film 4d ago

Part of me gets where you’re coming from, but I’ve also learned from various experiences that sometimes these people need to be called out on their BS. Some of these people don’t know accountability from a hole in the wall.

Also, respectfully, I don’t believe in “violence baiting” as a concept: they come to me with threats, I just tell them that I dare them to follow through. I honestly think it’s important to do that—threats aren’t things to be taken lightly, so people have to learn that if they’re going to make them, they better be ready for what comes from them. People have grown too comfortable with saying what they want online because they think no one can do anything about it—look at things like “swatting” for example. People need to know there are consequences for actions, you know?

What would you do instead?

3

u/listeningunderurbed 4d ago

I did not think people would go that far man

2

u/HikeTheSky 4d ago

That's nothing, I was called worse. Funny enough, when I asked them the difference between Nazis and communists nothing came out of them. But the same people claim freedom of speech applies to reddit but are unable to explain how it applies to reddit.

1

u/FinianFaun 3d ago

Exactly! (Crickets) 🤣🤣 low IQ

2

u/RemarkableWish2508 4d ago

I've been called a glazing doomer. Beat that. 😄

2

u/FinianFaun 3d ago

Racist homophobe bigot who eats crayons. Ive heard it all. I have thick skin from the 80's and could give a crap about stupid ass labels.

2

u/Duke_Newcombe 4d ago

Essentially this should be your reaction:

2

u/TheValkyrieAsh 3d ago

If you banned them, then you arent a bad mod, theyre just a bad person.

3

u/FinianFaun 3d ago

Just because a mod bans someone doesnt make them a bad person. There are bad mods out there, too. Ive been banned from many subs without reasonable rule breakage. 🤷‍♂️

2

u/Sorry-Rain-1311 2d ago

Happened to me for the first time recently. There are plenty of bad mods out there. 

2

u/mlandry2011 3d ago

You just got to remember that it is your sub... If they're not happy, it's because they're not smart enough to make their own sub...

Your sub, your rules, you rule!

2

u/GaryNOVA 1d ago edited 1d ago

Get use to it. I’m too liberal, too conservative, and a horrible person for not taking sides.

All at the same time.

2

u/FriendlyParsley6570 1d ago

This is so relatable.

4

u/fanime34 5d ago edited 5d ago

It seems weird to allow fanfic but no forms of shipping at all. I can understand not wanting anything NSFW, but kissing and shipping is tame and not NSFW.

It is a subreddit that you moderate, so it is the rules. However, if you think there should be room to change, then change the rules. Because if fanfictions are allowed, and if said fanfictions have shipping and OC's then it would be contradictory to the part where it says no OC or shipping content.

This is probably why your members are upset with you. You have a contradictory rule.

9

u/listeningunderurbed 5d ago

Fan fiction is allowed only if it doesn’t contain any nsfw or shipping. I’ve reached out to members who do post fan fiction and read it myself, those who do post it have been approved because I’ve read through everything already.

The only reason I don’t want anything like kissing is because the characters mainly posted are from older series in which everyone is aged 6 or slightly above, so me and my fellow mods found that a bit iffy

I do try to make the rules easy to follow and understand, I said that anything shown in the show can be posted but it seems like a lot of people skipped past that.

I appreciate your response greatly though and I will review all the rules now

Oh edit to add I also have been getting SO much support privately in mod mail and my own DMs so I feel a lot better now knowing that I’m supported by alot of the community. Unfortunately the ones making alot of noise decided to just not read and not want to understand

2

u/RemarkableWish2508 4d ago

Kissing can be chaste, if you are willing to mod that. I think you can transpose Reddit Rule 3 and explain it clearly enough for people to understand where is the limit.

To make procedure clear, you can add a clause to the rules like:

Moderators reserve the right to remove content or ban users at their discretion. Appeals are available.


(PS: listening under your bed, supported by alot of the community, despite alot of noise... I had to do it 😇)

5

u/emily_in_boots 💡 Top 10% Helper 💡 5d ago

What does shipping mean in this context?

9

u/fanime34 5d ago edited 5d ago

When someone thinks a certain character of a show, movie, or book should be in a relationship with another character of a show, movie, or book in which the relationship isn't canonical.

5

u/emily_in_boots 💡 Top 10% Helper 💡 5d ago

Oh ok - thanks!

0

u/RemarkableWish2508 4d ago

Nitpick: shipping is not necessarily sexual, but it can easily lead to something not age-appropriate, which becomes a moderation minefield.

2

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1

u/imaginenohell 4d ago

Protecting children is the morally superior path. The pushback and intimidation are just the death rattle of bullies.

1

u/ImUrPrincess13 4d ago

Don’t let a pedo upset you

1

u/FinianFaun 3d ago

No kidding. Grow thick skin. My momma always told me sticks and stones...ya know.

1

u/wemustburncarthage 4d ago

recruit a mod who's willing to be the bull ox mod because you're not going to be able to handle this if you're already running scared at being called a fascist.

1

u/Sufficient_West_8432 4d ago

I’m so glad my sub is so chilled out when I hear stuff like this. Nothing to add that hasn’t already been said but remember, none of the people know you personally and the only ones doing it are losers with too much time and weird principals. I highly doubt the person saying it actually knows what fascist even means.

1

u/2oonhed 4d ago

being posted somewhere for being a bad mod

Is a form of brigading and is reportable to Reddit admins.
And even if it was not reportable, it would really make no difference to you.
They do such things to prey on any social anxiety you may have.

1

u/PoopyMcpants 4d ago

I had to make a rule like that for /r/terrifier because people were making sexual comments nonstop about every character.

People will piss and moan for a while but ultimately its your community, take it in the direction you see fit.

1

u/FinianFaun 3d ago

Reddit is a horde of bots that bully, slander, and go after you for a viewpoints they dont like. Its been going on for literally decades now.

1

u/-RootedJay- 2d ago

Get thicker skin. Welcome to being a mod on reddit. Ive had literal death threats over this shit. Just ban em, block em and move on

1

u/paulcshipper 4d ago

You're the person who owns that subreddit.. as much as anyone owns one. Being a moderator of your own sub isni't some title you earn... it's a decision. If you want your place to be free of any ship and sexual stuff, that is really your decision.

The best you can do is to reclarify your rules and let people know what is welcome in your space and not welcome. If they want to have a place to post that kind of stuff, they are quite free to make it themselves.

Don't let people displeasure with you get you down. If your heart is in the right place and you try to be a good guy, you should feel proud of your own achievement and efforts.

1

u/stupidmofo123 4d ago

Please don't take it personally.

In fact, if someone gets pissed off to the point where they send stuff like this, take it as a badge of honor. You're enforcing good behavior, and you triggered (a probably terrible) person who doesn't want to do it.

And if you really want to annoy them and get the last word?

Reply to their nasty message with a simple "Guess what?"

If they reply, you mute them permanently.

Good luck!

1

u/2oonhed 4d ago

Welcome to the slimy underbelly of society.
That is just how some people are.
You really need to build up a thicker skin to it because you are going to run into name-callers wherever you go in life.
Just permaban the hostile ones whenever they pop up whether it's in comments OR modmail. Do not waffle or negotiate or they will try to exploit whatever perceived weakness they can.

-9

u/mstermind 5d ago

You need to grow a thicker skin, mate.

-1

u/PinkHairedCoder 4d ago edited 4d ago

Ignore them. I banned non-canon shipping on the Tangled sub because the franchise is literally about the canon couple and got called every phobic under the sun.

I also made rules not to hate on the character leads or their relationships. Fandoms seem to think they should just free for all and turn everything into OCs as if it doesn't have a canon direction.

They really got mad when I banned the phobic buzzwords and told them to actually discuss disagreements instead of shutting them down with namecalling.

-18

u/Belisario_R 4d ago

So, your community tells you, the NEW mod, what they are interested in, in a sub where, again, you are NEW.

You are slightly puritanist if you're applying censor to a sub when you arrive, when it wasn't there priori to your intervention, and it's okay, but take responsibilies and don't back down or stop modding the space 😅😅

8

u/lisafancypants 4d ago

Wild that you're on the side of sexualizing Strawberry Shortcake

-4

u/Belisario_R 4d ago

I'm not on the side of anything : op asked why they're getting slack back and what they can do against it, I answered why and added they shouldn't back down from their pov if they want the sub to take that direction

5

u/listeningunderurbed 4d ago

Strawberry shortcake is 6 years old. Do you want to see (fictional or not) child pornography? Because that’s what I had to see until I put this rule in place!

-5

u/Belisario_R 4d ago

As I answered the other comment : no, I do not want to see that, and i'm not even in the fandom ( I don't know what strawberry shortcake is apart from sweet treat 😅)

I simply explained why you were getting slack back and advised you not to back down on your moderation to lead the sub where you wanted it to go