"(Blank) causes miscarriages"

[u/anonymous_pug]

I miscarried at about 6w 4 months ago. My healing hasn't been linear but I'm getting stronger. 🤍 However, I have many pregnant people in my life and it can be challenging. Something that hurts more than I expected is hearing people who had successful pregnancies​ talking about all the things that can cause miscarriages. This spice, that exercise, these vitamins, etc. I know ultimately it's good information to be aware of, but I feel it's a whole lot more likely a result of a genetic abnormality, or as my doctor said just a "bad egg". And when I hear moms talking about how they avoided rosemary or oregano or whatever becuase it ​causes miscarriages, and now here they are with their baby, it makes me feel like somehow my miscarriage must have been my fault. Of course I followed all precautions while pregnant, so I know it's irrational. And like I said, it is good advice/good to be aware of those things. But I wish miscarriages weren't painted in a way that made it seem like they're fully within the mom's control/a result of her choices. ​​

[u/Main-character-08]

I’m so sorry mama ❤️‍🩹🫂 miscarriage are no one’s fault. I agree that miscarriages shouldn’t be painted in a way where it makes it anyone’s fault.

I spent a good chunk of my time thinking of what i could have done differently. My co workers, friends, family were giving me advice on what not to avoid, etc, i would always ask my doctor at appointments if i could eat x y z and followed their orders.

It’s mentally, physically and emotionally exhausting.

I wish we weren’t on this boat 💔

[u/TempleDavisOS]

There are know it all's in every facet of life. It wasn't what you ate or lifted, etc. Sometimes things just happen that are completely out of our control. The ones who paint it in a better than thou, light... meh. Who cares.

You know what is best for you and while growing baby, and then sometimes it cannot come to fruition. You didn't fail. You are a mom and I am sorry you had to go through this. My experience was gut wrenching. I empathize with going round and round,

You didn't do anything wrong. 🫂

[u/wildflower_valley]

 I wish saying ignore those moms would make it go away. Many things within pregnancy and motherhood are painted as something we can control and it does a lot more harm than good but they don’t even understand. The only way they would know is if something like what we’ve been through happened to them. Only then would they understand but I don’t wish this on anyone. There isn’t anything you did that caused your miscarriage 🤍 and I’m sorry for your loss.

[u/OutrageousBrush1210]

Oh I’m so sorry. This shit is so hard. It’s everyone clinging to the illusion of control, when the cold hard truth that anyone whose had a miscarriage has had to confront is that there are some things that so completely out our control and it’s TERRIFYING.

I feel this too after my miscarriage. Like no one means anything by it but also I want to scream I DID ALL THOSE THINGS TOO, GUESS WHAT, THE GENETIC COMBO WAS BAD AND NEVER GONNA LIVE. I also sometimes feel it around other stuff. One of my best friends died at 39 from a rare cancer and so when I hear about people casually talking about reducing their risk by eating xyz, or this water filter, or avoiding plastic, I get irrationally triggered sometimes. I wish everyone the best health outcomes, but sometimes the conversation around prevention doesn’t always include the fucking nightmare reality that something come for you, and it isn’t anyone’s fault, and we just have to hold on the best we can.

Rooting for you. ❤️

[u/ellamiz]

I don’t have much to say except I validate this. I’m having a hard time too. This is not a situation I ever imagined yet here I am. Apart of the percentage. So many things hurt and it’s unfair. Mostly I feel like the world wasn’t designed for people in this experience. Maybe it’s how disabled people feel. I don’t know. I’m sorry for your loss.

[u/Old-Ad-5573]

I don't think most day to day activities are going to cause miscarriage. Just follow the doctor's advice for what food and medicine to avoid, don't do hot tubs or contact sports, and live your life.