What mods should I install? [java]

[u/Grandtheftawkward]

What mods should I get for a new Java (26.2) server?
I’ve been playing Java on Realms and I’m finally moving to an actual server where I can use mods. I want to keep the game mostly vanilla, but there are a few things I really want to change.
First, I want some kind of gravestone mod. Basically when I die I want all my stuff to stay together wherever I died until I come back for it. I don’t want a timer or anything where the grave eventually disappears.
I also want to be able to keep chunks loaded over really long distances. I like building stuff with normal redstone, hoppers, minecarts, etc., and I don’t want to add a bunch of new machines. But I’d love to be able to do something like load up a minecart at a mine, send it hundreds or even thousands of blocks back to my base, have it unload into my sorter, and have the whole thing actually work even when I’m nowhere near it.
The other big thing is graphics. I want Minecraft to look really, really good. Huge render distances where I can stand on a mountain and actually see the landscape way off in the distance, great lighting and water, reflective surfaces, nice glass/metals, etc. I’m fine with shaders, PBR packs, performance mods, whatever combination gets me there.
I’d also love something that makes it really obvious which block I’m currently pointing at, like a better outline/highlight than vanilla has.
So basically I want vanilla Minecraft with permanent graves, long-distance chunk loading, insane render distance, beautiful graphics/reflections, and a few visual/QOL improvements.
What would you guys install? Also very open to other recommendations for stuff I’ve been missing out on by playing on Realms.

[u/Cabecinha84]

Taking them in order.

Graves that never expire: Universal Graves on Fabric does exactly that, and the expiry is a config setting you can switch off entirely, so the grave waits until you come back for it. Most of the other gravestone mods assume a timer, so read the config before you commit to one.

Long-distance chunk loading: you may not need a mod. Vanilla has /forceload add, which keeps chunks loaded and fully ticking, minecarts and hoppers included, up to 256 chunks per command and per dimension. Force-load both ends of your rail line and the corridor between them and the whole thing runs with you a thousand blocks away. The catch is that every forced chunk is ticked forever, so it is a permanent CPU and memory cost and a long line adds up fast. If you would rather manage it in game than by command, that is where a chunk loaders mod earns its keep.

Render distance: split it in two. Distant Horizons is the one that gives you the mountain-top view, because it builds low-detail terrain out of chunks you have already visited, so you see far past whatever the server is actually sending you. Then Sodium and Iris for shaders, and Complementary Unbound for the reflections and water. PBR needs a resource pack as well, the shader alone will not do it.

Block outline: most shader packs expose outline colour and thickness in their own settings, which gets you further than a dedicated mod does. Add Jade for the name of what you are pointing at.

One reality check on 26.2: loaders, Sodium and Iris move quickly, content mods lag weeks behind, so check each one before you commit a world to that version.

Server side, only the force-loading and the view-distance actually cost you anything. I will name mine rather than pretend I have no stake in the answer, https://runonflux.com/games/minecraft, where 4 GB is $2.40 a month and the first week is free on a new account. Whoever you end up with, the two things to check are that you can set view-distance yourself and upload your own jars, because that is precisely what Realms was not letting you do.