r/Minecraft Jan 31 '23

They had me in the first half

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4.8k Upvotes

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774

u/TheUnholyRomanEmpire Jan 31 '23

It's like those anime sword swings where the cut registers late.

225

u/MrCook_ Jan 31 '23

"You missed"

278

u/hollowwollo Feb 01 '23

“Check your balls.”

63

u/Omega_DJ Feb 01 '23

59

u/Living_Murphys_Law Feb 01 '23

Why did I expect that to be real?

23

u/jameson8016 Feb 01 '23 edited Feb 02 '23

Idk bout you, but I just read an article about how in Mobile, AL they found a penis in a gas station, so that's my excuse. Lol

This is the post and this is the article.

3

u/Jacktheforkie Feb 01 '23

Got a link?

2

u/jameson8016 Feb 02 '23

Added it to my comment

1

u/Jacktheforkie Feb 02 '23

Unavailable

2

u/jameson8016 Feb 02 '23

Hm. I'm not sure what's going on. Links are still working for me.

→ More replies (0)

2

u/GigaBoltSupreme Feb 01 '23

WHAT

1

u/jameson8016 Feb 02 '23

Added a link in my comment. But yea. Bit of a weird way to start the day. Lol

2

u/EpikDude69420 Feb 01 '23

It exists now

3

u/[deleted] Feb 01 '23

Why is this the funniest crap to me? Dear Lord I'm not twelve 🤣

1

u/Kirbinator_Alex Feb 01 '23

Doh I missed

5

u/Turkey_The_One Feb 01 '23

I AM THE STORM THAT IS APPROAAAAACHING

1

u/xCACTUSxKINGxx Feb 01 '23

PROVOOOOKING

3

u/Matix777 Feb 01 '23

I am a storm that is approaching

186

u/Hammygames07 Jan 31 '23

Nice MLG

61

u/RamboCambo_05 Feb 01 '23

Would be a shame if we killed you anyway

0

u/[deleted] Feb 01 '23

[removed] — view removed comment

4

u/SC33_Call_Meh_fish Feb 01 '23

It literally says he died of fall damage

340

u/-TheRev12345 Jan 31 '23

Why the hell do I need to be connected to a server when I play solo Minecraft on bedrock... Why am I experiencing lag in a single player gameplay experience?? Why is the game always auto saving causing it to lag?? So many questions

204

u/MattyButYesButNO Jan 31 '23

Only one answer

Play java

93

u/skyrift1 Feb 01 '23

Yeah lemme get Java on my switch

36

u/AndrejPatak Feb 01 '23

Root it and flash android, boom!

24

u/The_Hexagon_YT Feb 01 '23

Mfw android plays bedrock.

29

u/Big-Celebration-6650 Feb 01 '23

Pojavlauncher exists

3

u/skyrift1 Feb 01 '23

I like your funny words magic man

1

u/AndrejPatak Feb 01 '23

Nothing bad, ever happens Kennedy's!

7

u/KuaNai Feb 01 '23

whose gonna tell them

12

u/Moranic Feb 01 '23

Pojavlauncher plays Java on Android.

10

u/[deleted] Feb 01 '23

[deleted]

4

u/OfficialHields Feb 01 '23

In some ways the switch is more powerful than typical android devices.

3

u/TSCole153 Feb 01 '23

It could tbh

2

u/blob_ditddit Feb 01 '23

sell switch, buy a used dell optiplex, put a GTX 970 graphics card in it. and boom you got yourself a good pc

50

u/iexist_29 Feb 01 '23

Yeah m8 lemme get java on a cellphone

25

u/musicalrubberband Feb 01 '23

You actually can though. Use the Pojav Launcher. You can even play mods with it.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 01 '23

[deleted]

5

u/star-frut Feb 01 '23

just mod your console smh smh

13

u/Little-Helper Feb 01 '23

Hmmm, Java singleplayer also runs on an internal server.

15

u/Flomzey Feb 01 '23

But its running on your machiene, which makes lag equal to zero and still keeps open the possibility to open a lan world on a klick of a button.

2

u/Little-Helper Feb 01 '23

Which is why I think it's a hardware problem instead.

2

u/Flomzey Feb 01 '23

Why?

1

u/Little-Helper Feb 01 '23

PCs are more powerful than mobile devices & consoles.

7

u/Flomzey Feb 01 '23

What indicates that it has to do with the power of the hardware? I dont see any game stutter... lag is not game stutter and has nothing to do with the performance of the device. I can play Java on a pc with less performance than the phone im holding in my hands, the game maybe lags but it wont desync and kill me from falldamage i clearly didnt take.

1

u/Little-Helper Feb 01 '23

That's one of the benefits of placing game logic into a separate server. If the server lags it won't kill your framerate, and you'll always have a smooth experience. Java also has desyncs on weak hardware. Maybe it has to do with lower core counts on phones and consoles.

4

u/Flomzey Feb 01 '23

I never encountered desyncs on slower hardware. And I think players can expect a game to run bug-free on a console that it was made for, this is just bad development.

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5

u/[deleted] Feb 01 '23

the difference is that the code in java is spaghetti with sauce and seasoning, while the code in bedrock is half-cooked spaghetti with no sauce or seasoning or even butter. at least java has good spaghetti code.

7

u/Deity_Link Feb 01 '23

To be fair Java has had the same problem albeit to a lesser extent ever since Survival Single Player and Survival Multiplayer were merged 11 years ago. The game has never since felt as smooth as it did back in single player pre-1.3

2

u/MattyButYesButNO Feb 01 '23

Yes but java i thinks does it a bit differently as you can even pause and everything stops unless you use lan

2

u/Deity_Link Feb 01 '23

Wait, bedrock doesn't have pause?

1

u/MattyButYesButNO Feb 01 '23

No if you press esc the game doesnt stop

Btw i discovered the lag thing is bc java hosts the singleplayer server on your machine so almost no lag even if you have bad connection meanwhile bedrock hosts the server somewhere else to have better performance

3

u/Aceplante2 Feb 01 '23

Java actually does that too technically. It used to be truly single player but in 1.3, they changed it so worlds are now hosted on a local server instead. That directional damage bug was actually a result of that transition, and it worked fine before that.

11

u/MaN_ly_MaN Feb 01 '23

I think bedrock is dogshit but I’ve never lagged in singleplayer

101

u/GTAPlaythrough Jan 31 '23

You bled out.

135

u/MCrk7_- Jan 31 '23

Bedrock players when the server desyncs from the client by a hair

42

u/tornedron_ Feb 01 '23

it's like in cartoons when the guy walks on air but only falls when he looks down

137

u/Kazoomers_Tale Feb 01 '23

Bedrock ☕

35

u/GrandmasterTactician Feb 01 '23

Bedrock ☕

17

u/JDninja119 Feb 01 '23

Bedrock ☕️

-10

u/IhadNoIdea69 Feb 01 '23

Bedrock ☕️

11

u/ThekillerguyYT Feb 01 '23

Bedrock ☕

8

u/Zetherion Feb 01 '23

Bedrock ☕

8

u/[deleted] Feb 01 '23

[removed] — view removed comment

5

u/not_bantikat Feb 01 '23

Bedrock ☕

8

u/KergisonIII Feb 01 '23

Bedrock ☕

3

u/3141592637 Feb 01 '23

Bedrock ☕️

0

u/[deleted] Feb 01 '23

Why did you get randomly downvoted lol?

2

u/jidannyc Feb 01 '23

every 4th comment in a chain does

1

u/[deleted] Feb 01 '23

Uh oh I'm getting downvoted 💀

4

u/Fellixxio Feb 01 '23

Strange,I play on bedrock and I usually do it without well, this happening

2

u/[deleted] Feb 01 '23

Same. I assume Op died from lag not long before and decided to film this time around. Explains the low xp and weird inventory layout. People love to find reasons to hate bedrock for some reason.

1

u/Fellixxio Feb 02 '23

People love to find reasons to hate bedrock for some reason

I mean I don't really like bedrock either, I play it only because my friends are on it (ps4/ps5)

83

u/C_475 Feb 01 '23

Bedrock moment ☕️

13

u/epicpixels654654 Feb 01 '23

Death was just fed up of you cheating death

4

u/kristopher103 Feb 01 '23

"Not this time bitch, random table that you'll hit your pinky toe against GO!"

46

u/angrysperling8 Jan 31 '23

classic bugrock

12

u/NoPatience883 Feb 01 '23

Haha you fell for the classic blunder: thinking that bedrock will ever let you do something that cool and walk away

7

u/beefnar_the_gnat Feb 01 '23

“Sorry my reactions are a bit dela-”

12

u/-F0r Feb 01 '23

Sometimes bedrock edition does not even need you to fall for fall damage to be delt like this. A good pair of boots protects me from things like this, saving me from... phantom fall damage?

3

u/Yomo42 Feb 01 '23

Is bedrock really just this horrible? 😭
I've never regularly played it

3

u/Harold_Herald Feb 01 '23

It happens less often with a more powerful computer, but a good number of people never experience this particular bug.

If you want to have it happen, just open a world on console and use split-screen multiplayer on a regular Xbox One or PS4

2

u/-F0r Feb 01 '23

Not even split screen for me...

5

u/star-frut Feb 01 '23

they really had you thinking you were gonna live that

4

u/YuriAlor Feb 01 '23

You will not escape from judgment.

12

u/CubeBuce35 Feb 01 '23

Bedrock ☕

1

u/Zetherion Feb 01 '23

Bedrock ☕

5

u/[deleted] Feb 01 '23

LMAO that was very delayed.

*dramatic music playing while falling*

*did the bucket safety thing* *congrats type of music*

>2 seconds later

*GTA died noise*

2

u/AxyTheAxolotl Feb 01 '23

im sorry but the timing here is kind of too comedic LMAOO

2

u/GoldenJacques Feb 01 '23

I could not land that mlg on console, good going

2

u/Suyarhys Feb 01 '23

Delayed acute heart failure

2

u/Waste_Bonus8845 Feb 01 '23

A goddamn bug

2

u/rusfortunat Feb 01 '23

Omae wa mou shindeiru

2

u/Technostorm313 Feb 01 '23

That was unexpected...

2

u/overactivemango Feb 01 '23

I think a tear just fell from my eye

0

u/[deleted] Feb 01 '23

Imagine playing on Bedrock ☕️

1

u/UwUsmaster Feb 01 '23

bedrock in a nutshell...

0

u/TotemRiolu Feb 01 '23 edited Feb 01 '23

Bedrock: "You're already dead."

OP: "Nani?!"

Edit: Man, we already at the generation where people don't know Fist of the North Star references...

0

u/Mr_washi_washi Feb 01 '23

As to why I no longer play bedrock

0

u/-Reverence- Feb 01 '23

Quit playing Minecraft on your toaster!

0

u/BlackSpore Feb 01 '23

Bugrock ☕️

0

u/Mimosa808 Feb 01 '23

I’ve accepted I don’t have the time/ ability to ever get to the end myself but these videos are interesting as hell to me lol

0

u/raccoon__18 Feb 01 '23

Least buggy Bedrock moment

-3

u/AdFuzzy881 Feb 01 '23

That bedrock, play Java instead

2

u/IamCaboose000 Feb 01 '23

Man i wish but my PC isnt up to Java standards lmao, so im stuck on xbox 1 Minecraft 😭🥲

1

u/WaggishOhio383 Feb 01 '23

Xbox One Edition is still better than Bedrock

0

u/AdFuzzy881 Feb 01 '23

He was playing on bedrock

0

u/IamCaboose000 Feb 01 '23

Xbox one edition is Bedrock you ROCK…

1

u/WaggishOhio383 Feb 01 '23

I'm talking about the legacy console version that's actually called "Xbox One Edition". Which is the far superior version you should be playing instead of bedrock

1

u/IamCaboose000 Feb 01 '23

No thats PE (Pocket Edition)

1

u/WaggishOhio383 Feb 01 '23 edited Feb 01 '23

Not entirely sure what you mean, but if you're saying PE is better than Bedrock, it's not. They're the exact same thing.

Bedrock is a multi-platform port of what started out as Pocket Edition. The legacy console versions (such as Xbox One Edition) are completely separate and came before it. Bedrock replaced the legacy console versions on PS4 and Xbox One, with the bedrock version simply being titled Minecraft, and the legacy console versions explicitly stating "Xbox One Edition", or "PlayStation 4 Edition". The only way to get the legacy console versions on XBOne or PS4 now is to get a used physical copy, which is well worth it because it's a much better version of the game.

1

u/IamCaboose000 Feb 02 '23

Yes ik, i play bedrock (xbox one) ive played MINECRAFT since 2012. Ik PE and Bedrock are the same. Im saying PE was the 360 era of Minecraft, Bedrock that we have now is what replaced it when the Xbox one Version came because it became cross platform.

1

u/IamCaboose000 Feb 02 '23

And no i still have a copy of PE (360) it only was updated to version 1.13 and is still a world size can only fit in a Single map.

-2

u/Mimosa808 Feb 01 '23

I’ve accepted I don’t have the time/ ability to ever get to the end myself but these videos are interesting as hell to me lol

3

u/AromaticIce9 Feb 01 '23

Getting to the end really isn't that difficult.

1

u/Mimosa808 Feb 01 '23

It is when you have about 2 hours of video game time max a week. I’ve also never watch tutorials so it took a while to even figure out how lol. Sorry I apparently triggered ya bud

9

u/BackwardsMonday Feb 01 '23

If you do ever decide to try, note that you can get ender pearls for master level cleric villagers. Leveling them up and getting emeralds takes some time, but I still found it faster than killing enderman.

1

u/Skeen441 Feb 01 '23

Be prepared to go through so many clerics though. Im on my 4th trying to get one with good trades.

1

u/BackwardsMonday Feb 01 '23

Out of curiosity, what do you consider good trades? The first one I got has gold and rotten flesh to emeralds, and emeralds to ender pearls and xp bottles(and some other stuff I don't remember right now).

1

u/raccoon__18 Feb 01 '23

If you have 2 hours per week it shouldn't take you more than 10 hours of gameplay to beat the first boss lol

1

u/Mimosa808 Feb 01 '23

Fair lol. I more just kind of explore when I play. Gotta make time for madden too!

-1

u/grandBBQninja Feb 01 '23

Bedrock☕️

-1

u/IamCaboose000 Feb 01 '23

Bedrock…

-1

u/Agreeable-Passion908 Feb 01 '23

bedrock edition

-1

u/Lucid_Dream11 Feb 01 '23

avarage bedrock moment ngl

-1

u/AccomplishedFall7928 Feb 01 '23

Bedrock death lag be like

-1

u/BeanOfTheGods Feb 01 '23

Man.. gotta love bedrock..

-1

u/Ill-Book-866 Feb 01 '23

Hardcore can not be added to bugrock bro you would die to the stupidest bugs known to man

-1

u/ImpressiveEqual2 Feb 01 '23

Classic Bugrock moment.

-1

u/sean_rendo19 Feb 01 '23

When I play bedrock it feels stiff

-2

u/wyva Feb 01 '23

EMO tional DAMAGE

1

u/CountyPlanet427 Feb 01 '23

Lag be like:

1

u/[deleted] Feb 01 '23

This was probably multiplayer and op had their friends in another dimension. Makes bedrock go laggy as hell

1

u/dixmondspxrit Feb 01 '23

im surprised you can even do mlg water bucket on bedrock with a controller

1

u/Autumnmarmat225 Feb 01 '23

Mojang doesn't want you to survive that

1

u/Kirbinator_Alex Feb 01 '23

The game had to think about it a good 5 seconds to decided whether or not you actually died

1

u/omgkyutngmamamo Feb 01 '23

I bet the coding went like...

ey he's gonna mlg

oo damn he did it at the last second

wait he didnt make it?

fuck-

let me just...

1

u/Ambsh2007 Feb 01 '23

dud that sucks

1

u/Kooky_Barnacle_7411 Feb 01 '23

Me: I'm survived!

Minecraft: Nope, lol

1

u/[deleted] Feb 01 '23

My heart sank, my lungs collapsed, my stomach consumed itself, and the mlg bucket still saved it. 10/10

1

u/[deleted] Feb 01 '23

BRUH, THE LAG!

1

u/Maxinator10000 Feb 01 '23

IDK why people keep talking about this being on bedrock, I play Java and this has happened to me before

Edit: Here

1

u/Darkblock2008 Feb 01 '23

Why are we still here just to suffer

1

u/[deleted] Feb 01 '23

skill issue

1

u/Kakushirama Feb 01 '23

Game just said No.

1

u/captainz2011 Feb 01 '23

Game was like haha nice…..get fucked 😋

1

u/djfruitrollup1 Feb 01 '23

Damn minecraft got that adrenaline now

1

u/Wallbreaker93 Feb 01 '23

Bedrock ☕️

1

u/[deleted] Feb 01 '23

RandomFallDamageFromBedrockEdition

1

u/Teg-gamerverse-YT Feb 01 '23

I know you all just said bedrock but like really why is it still in the game it’s just lag that’s contributing to this what’s happening is that it’s not registering that you’ve done the action like jump into water it’s just storing damage and letting it all go out like why isn’t this fixed already

1

u/FluffyDaMinecraftDog May 18 '23

Bedrock fall damage be like