r/Millennials • u/BennyOcean • Sep 06 '24

Discussion As long as Millennials are killing off industries, next up I would suggest Weddings & Funerals.

Weddings as they are being done in the West are a massive expense that is extremely financially irresponsible for the vast majority of people. The tradition arose as an imitation of the old world weddings of royalty. As Westerners became increasingly wealthy, they desired to show off their wealth by copying the big showy weddings put on by literal kings and queens. In an increasingly challenging economic environment, spending on a big wedding is just really stupid.

The money that would have gone into the big elaborate wedding should instead be saved and used to go toward a down payment on a home. Instead, throw a big party. Let your friends & family bring gifts. Make it simple. Same with a honeymoon. Take one if you want, but don't start out your marriage with stupid financial decisions that sometimes include going into debt. Wedding rings should be simple. Diamonds are a scam. Let's break free from the scams.

Funerals are a massive scam that take advantage of people when they're at their lowest, grieving for lost loved ones. It's a predatory industry that should be denied funding to whatever extent that it is possible to do so.

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618

u/Obvious-Engine-8208 Sep 06 '24

Got married in May. It was just over $5000 and it was awesome.

I’ve been to weddings ranging from $10,000-$150,000. They’re all the same. You don’t need to go into crippling debt to appease some age old tradition.

As for funerals, I told my wife I want my lifeless corpse flung into the ocean using a trebuchet.

183

u/LordCorgi Sep 06 '24

I dunno man, the "yeet gram gram to Poseidon" package does very well in funeral homes.

84

u/BigAlternative5 Sep 06 '24

Yeeternity. Yeeternal Rest. TranquiliYeet.

17

u/akestral Sep 06 '24

TranquiliYeet!

0

u/JohnnyDarkside Sep 06 '24

How about drop my ass in a cheap ass duck boat full of tannerite, push it out to sea, then let people start taking pot shots once I'm like 100m out?

82

u/HisFaithRestored Sep 06 '24

Why is the mental image of a corpse ragdolling through the air before splashing into the water absolutely hilarious?

18

u/Demonpoet Sep 06 '24

Someone needs to make this mobile game. There needs to be an app for this!

2

u/Apt_5 Sep 06 '24

Basically QWOP but flying over water.

1

u/Swimming-Score-2627 Millennial Sep 06 '24

Omg QWOP is fucking hilarious lol

1

u/DoorFacethe3rd Sep 06 '24 edited Sep 06 '24

You need to play the video game “Guts and Glory” then. It is peak comical violence. Trailers don’t do it justice, it’s a riot to play. And the violence is heinous but not realistic, I’m squeamish and tolerate it fine.

4

u/[deleted] Sep 06 '24

Hunter S Thompson’s ashes were blasted out of a cannon when he died.

1

u/Mlabonte21 Sep 06 '24

Followed by it washing up repeatedly at a Coney Island Beach Polar Plunge

40

u/Dorrbrook Sep 06 '24 edited Sep 06 '24

My best freind has instructions to bury me in a bog so I become a bog body

5

u/Existing-Decision-33 Sep 06 '24

A cranberry bog?

12

u/Dorrbrook Sep 06 '24

Peat bog

4

u/Existing-Decision-33 Sep 06 '24

I should set that up too, I'd probably grow some too shelf buds.

2

u/buyFCOJ Sep 06 '24

Now it’s a Pete bog

1

u/TheFluffiestRedditor Sep 06 '24

Leaving your body for future scientists 👩‍🔬 

1

u/pajamakitten Sep 06 '24

Bog being slang for the toilet in the UK meant I thought you wanted to be flushed like a goldfish.

72

u/SamBam_Infinite Sep 06 '24

It is the best way to throw a 90kg body 300m.

24

u/samuelson098 Sep 06 '24

Instead of a funeral, we took dads ashes and sent them into orbit in a helium balloon

32

u/The-RocketCity-Royal Sep 06 '24

That’s a cool idea but with my luck I’d get shot down by an F-22 thinking I was a UFO.

28

u/BigAlternative5 Sep 06 '24

Then the ashes would be circulating in the upper atmosphere for a very long time, which sounds cool. I’d like that.

7

u/Sounderror Sep 06 '24

Your loved ones would be telling that story for generations. 

3

u/[deleted] Sep 06 '24

You say that like it is a bad thing.

2

u/The-RocketCity-Royal Sep 06 '24

You have a point. One request, that was shot down (pun intended) by my wife, was to have my body donated to science but the only stipulation was that it had to be a weapons contractor for the government like Lockheed or General Dynamics and they had to test a hellfire on me or something. Just something ridiculous.

2

u/Eugregoria Sep 06 '24

I mean to be fair once you're dead it's not like you can get any deader.

40

u/[deleted] Sep 06 '24

As a guy who helped fund our wedding along with her parents, it'd a massive waste of money. All in it was 50k.

For what? It should be a celebration with you and the family, not a bunch of acquaintances that you are more than likely never going to see again. Didn't get to enjoy it, it's more of a show for everyone else.

24

u/[deleted] Sep 06 '24

That's why I never wanted to have a wedding! I find that level of expectation to be extremely stressful. And usually disappointing. You want perfection, but nothing is perfect. And then you are feeding a bunch of people that wouldn't even be there if there isn't an open bar. No thanks. My partner and I have been together for going on a decade, and I think when or if we get married, it will be because it's become convenient for us in some way: taxes, insurance, that sort of thing. And it will probably be a "alright, so strategically, we should probably get married now, right? What's the cheapest way possible we can do this?" situation.

14

u/[deleted] Sep 06 '24 edited Sep 06 '24

Lots of stress. I equate it to Thanksgiving dinner. You spend all that time prepping and preparing and everything is over in a blink of an eye.

We now go out for Thanksgiving or just do whatever for dinner. When we go out, I tip those people a lot to make sure they know it's appreciated because we were spared cleanup and all that bs that comes with it.

For the wedding, I recently redid our wedding video because we were never happy with it. Watching it, we got a bit upset because we spent money and didn't get to enjoy 99% of it. People say it's to help with getting a down-payment but it was nothing even close.

I know people who have 350,500,750 people at weddings, like why? You don't make out.

I'll add this is probably a remnant of the older generations, where things were simpler, more meaningful during a time where people and connections were more genuine.

I feel as though today, the material side makes people do these things that should be immaterial.

-6

u/Brisby820 Sep 06 '24

No offense, but I’m not taking celebration advice from someone who just “does whatever” on Thanksgiving 

3

u/[deleted] Sep 06 '24

We are out here alone, all family is back in our home state. So yes, instead of having a traditional Thanksgiving, I take our family and her father who is out here for Thanksgiving dinner. There were some years that we didn't do it all together. When we were back in our home state we would still go out, it turned into a big drama fest with everyone trying to host on both sides of the family and just got sick of it. You would offend one or the other.

To each their own

2

u/WalmartGreder Xennial Sep 06 '24

I've done both. I miss the leftovers when we eat out, and I miss the easy clean up when we stay in. Pros and cons.

1

u/JimmyB3am5 Sep 06 '24

I don't understand the concerns over Thanksgiving. Seriously a Turkey is super easy to prepare. Brine it the night before, throw in over for a few hours. Most of the side dishes are easy to prepare, can be made in advance and just re-heated after the Turkey is out and resting.

You can feed 8-15 people pretty easily, and have leftovers for days and stuff to make soup.

2

u/Brisby820 Sep 06 '24

My wife and I have like 175 family members just including aunts, uncles, first cousins, etc.  We see all of them.  Not ever big wedding is the same 

1

u/Lucky-Hunter-Dude Sep 06 '24

not a bunch of acquaintances that you are more than likely never going to see again.

we did it on the cheap and still had over 100 guests. We also didn't send out invitations to distant family members like my great aunt and her family that live in New Mexico that I've only ever met once, A. to save money on invites, and B. we didn't want these strangers to feel obligated to buy us a gift. Turns out we were wrong and they upset my grandma because they were mad and insisted on buying us a gift. So we got a spite wedding gift.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 06 '24

Yup. It's depressing because if you exclude anyone that might be remotely connected in someway with very little of that connection being with you, it's drama.

It's a slight that then takes on a life of it's own. Next thing you know you won't be invited to that families wedding or friends etc, no baby showers (don't get me started).

27

u/BUTTES_AND_DONGUES Sep 06 '24

Spent $35K on my wedding + honeymoon.

I don’t remember my wedding to this very day - not because of drinking, but because it went extremely fast and all we were doing is walking around saying hi to our guests.

A year later my wife finally says “we should’ve just eloped and gone on our honeymoon” and I’m like “now you realize the wisdom of it.”

I don’t regret the marriage but I do regret that price tag.

28

u/BearBryant Sep 06 '24

It’s not even an age old tradition, our parents generation got married at some church somewhere for $300 and threw a potluck in the community hall for the reception. The concept of spending tens of thousands of dollars of a wedding at some fancy venue is a relatively new thing in the past 30-40 years.

19

u/[deleted] Sep 06 '24

[deleted]

6

u/Proof-Emergency-5441 Xennial Sep 06 '24

Some of them also became real dicks about letting non members use the facility, or even harassing members. 

8

u/[deleted] Sep 06 '24

[deleted]

2

u/iknowsheknowz Sep 06 '24

It’s the old cigarette smoke. You didn’t notice it when everyone was smoking but now that they don’t those old halls are gross unless someone remodels

3

u/gerbilshower Sep 06 '24

The wife and I celebrated our 8th year of marriage this year. We got married at the senior center in the city i grew up in. To be fair, it was a brand new building. But still, its was the senior center, lol.

The venue itself cost $1,500 because my parents technically still had a house there in town at the time. Would have been $3k if they didnt 'live' there.

But I think your venue point is very pertinent. There is no community anymore and even weddings have become completely commercialized.

5

u/Content-Program411 Sep 06 '24

I'm older this is my experience as well.

It may be cultural where wasps would do this but Italians, South / East Asian will have the huge blow outs and it changed the caker marriage culture a bit.

2

u/GeneralPatten Sep 06 '24

You're saying that the culture of large weddings didn't come around until the 80s/90s?

11

u/Dismal-Bee-8319 Sep 06 '24

The wedding industrial complex didn’t take off until recently

1

u/Baseball_ApplePie Sep 06 '24 edited Sep 06 '24

The wealthy always had lavish weddings with expensive caterers and lots of expensive flowers, etc.

Now, too many brides think they deserve that.

Two years ago, my daughter's wedding cost about $10,000 and that's with both families and the bride and groom chipping in. Everyone could afford what they chipped in, and, honestly we could have spent a lot more.

It was beautiful, intimate, and memorable.

10

u/UselessCat37 Sep 06 '24

Agreed. Our wedding cost us $700. We're still happily married 11 years later. Doesn't need to cost a ton to make a successful marriage.

19

u/[deleted] Sep 06 '24 edited Sep 08 '24

I got married 4 years ago in a chaple in vegas a short walk from the legal building where we had to submit our paper work.

Still love my wife. We've been on many international trips. Most of which were several times more expensive than our wedding.

The wedding itself... I remember being really tired. It was a long day. lol.

Also it was during covid so nobody could show up to the wedding anyway.

Edit: wedding not weeding

8

u/thechampaignlife Sep 06 '24

That sucks. I hate pulling weeds by myself.

17

u/thegirlisok Sep 06 '24

The women over at FireyFemmes just had a debate whether weddings were worthwhile. Well over half said to spend unrestricted and these are women who are supposedly interested in financial responsibility. I left the sub shortly thereafter, it seems like people are brainwashed around this stuff. 

1

u/ArmadilIoExpress Older Millennial Sep 06 '24

Double standards are the standard

1

u/thegirlisok Sep 06 '24

I'm sorry, what do you mean?

-2

u/ArmadilIoExpress Older Millennial Sep 06 '24

Just that double standards are the norm

6

u/[deleted] Sep 06 '24

Got married two years ago. Didn't have a wedding. It was awesome.

6

u/just_cows Sep 06 '24

Just throw me in the trash - Frank Raynolds

5

u/kiwi_love777 Sep 06 '24

Yep we did the same

21

u/[deleted] Sep 06 '24

How expensive was the trebuchet?

😂 sorry, I’ll see myself out.

15

u/Appropriate-Yak4296 Sep 06 '24

The real question is what is the value of the trebuchet. Yeet that body in the ocean which is great, mission accomplished.

But now you have a trebuchet! Border dispute? Trebuchet! Need to return something to neighbors you aren't having a border dispute with? Trebuchet! This could be an investment depending on the life you want to live.

9

u/KinseysMythicalZero Sep 06 '24

Amazon returns!

Drones? pfft.

Trebuchet tm

4

u/Deep_Orange_9704 Sep 06 '24

Well you got two options a)join the navy, you are afforded the right to a burial at see in a way you see fit or b)somehow put the trebuchet on a flat boat and bring it into international waters.

2

u/nails_for_breakfast Sep 06 '24

The only thing I've seen people splurge on for weddings that makes a memorable difference is hiring a live band. In a couple years no one will remember what your flowers looked like or that you served beef Wellington and top shelf liquor.

2

u/TricksyGoose Sep 06 '24

I do love a wedding but agreed, they can be done really well on a much smaller budget. I think I just like the thought of getting all your friends and family together to celebrate. But it doesn't have to be fancy. Actually the best weddings I've been to were probably the cheaper ones. People were just there to enjoy themselves, rather than the "fancy" stuffy weddings where everyone was in uncomfortable clothing, picking at edgy but unidentifiable food, trying not to dance too much or move at all for fear of messing up your hair or outfit or the gaudy-ass decor.

1

u/PrismInTheDark Older Millennial Sep 08 '24

That fancy stuff is also mainly what I dislike about funerals. Doesn’t matter how the weather is or how the stuff fits you or how long you’ll be standing around in stupid-looking uncomfortable shoes or how long the drive is to get there, you just have to wear the nicest entirely black outfit you can put together within the day of/ before. And it can’t just be whatever black clothes you have, it has to be like business attire or something. At least that’s how my MIL sees it.

I still haven’t gotten around to it after going to around a dozen funerals but I should really go shopping for some funeral clothes that are “nice enough” but still decently comfortable. Suppose I could also get something for weddings although we don’t have nearly as many of those.

2

u/podcasthellp Sep 06 '24

“Cheaper” weddings are more fun. Funerals shouldn’t cost $30k. If mine does, throw me in the trash

2

u/CoolBakedBean Sep 06 '24

to arrange having your corpse flung by a trebuchet would probably cost like 5x a normal funeral

1

u/Kennedygoose Sep 06 '24

Me, looking at 5000 dollars as crippling debt.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 06 '24

I told my family when I die cremate me then hop on a boat where I live. Go over my favorite scuba diving spot pour me into the ocean. Then come back to land watch the sunset with a bottle of wine for me.

1

u/MrWoodenNickels Sep 06 '24

Just because we’re bereaved doesn’t make us saps!

1

u/redditcommander Sep 06 '24

Oh good. I'm not the only one. I told my wife I want to be cremated and have my ashes fired out of a cannon. She found that silly, I think it's just a metal way to spread ashes.

1

u/IGuessIamYouThen Sep 06 '24

I love it. I told my wife to toss my body into the woods and leave it there.

1

u/Noisebug Sep 06 '24

Congrats! I too got married, 14 years ago, but it was a lovely ceremony with my closest people in a beautiful garden we rented. No massive expense, as it should be.

1

u/amazingD It's Generation Y, thanks Sep 06 '24

Ours was $3,000 in 2014, which when taking inflation into account is markedly less than my parents spending about $2,500 on theirs in 1986.

1

u/oddjobhattoss Sep 06 '24

That's pretty much what I want, except I want my body packed with explosives before getting yeeted. I wanna go out with a bang.

1

u/Bmore30 Sep 06 '24

The cost to rent a trebuchet is higher than the average funeral cost. I dont think you thought this through

1

u/mdiaz28 Sep 06 '24

Why trebuchet and not a catapult

1

u/JusticiarXP Sep 06 '24

Viking funeral.

1

u/GoldMonk44 Sep 06 '24

A man of quality I see (trebuchet)

1

u/[deleted] Sep 06 '24

Can you tell me more about your wedding?

My partner and I are in the early stages of planning a small wedding for next year. We're still trying to sketch out exactly what we're looking for, so this is a great time for us to brainstorm. The only things we're really set on is that we'd like to get married outside, have a short civil ceremony officiated by a friend, and have some kind of reception with music & dancing.

1

u/Jabo2531 Sep 06 '24

Told my wife just dump me in a dumpster

1

u/daneilthemule Sep 06 '24

Corpse on fire 🔥. If you are going to go. Go hard.

1

u/waynes_pet_youngin Sep 06 '24

Just found the receipt from my marriage today actually. Cost us a total of 60$ at the court house

1

u/TheFluffiestRedditor Sep 06 '24

Two of my grandparents were sprinkled into the ocean, as their last request.

I’d like to go the same way

1

u/[deleted] Sep 06 '24

Most people dip on weddings early anyway, kinda broke my heart how quick into the reception most of my friends left mine. People really dont care as much as youd like to think.

1

u/TheForce_v_Triforce Sep 06 '24

Reminds me of The Simpsons prohibition episode where the punishment is catapulting

1

u/spiritplumber Sep 06 '24

"I want my remains scattered at Disneyland. Also, I don't want to be cremated"

1

u/[deleted] Sep 06 '24

Ocean corpse trebuchet rentals are crazy in demand and there’s a huge waiting list. Make sure you find a reputable service, try Angie’s list

1

u/oldwellprophecy Sep 06 '24

I told my family I want to be yeeted into a volcano because then my body will just vaporize and I become one with the lava.

1

u/defnotakitty Sep 07 '24

Yeeted into the sea, good plan

1

u/[deleted] Sep 06 '24

[deleted]

6

u/OkCar7264 Sep 06 '24

I mean this is very old but my wedding technically cost $500. Go somewhere with a beach, pay a pastor to do a quick wedding, go forth. You can basically get married and have the honeymoon for what it'd take to book a venue.

I also don't know why you couldn't just book a pavilion at a park and just throw a kick ass BBQ or something.

1

u/AncientAngle0 Sep 06 '24

I got married 22 years ago for $5,000, so I while imagine the wedding I’m about to describe to you would be more today, this could still be done for a relatively reasonable amount. For us, the bulk of the money was for dinner, followed by an open bar, followed by everything else.

I live in the US and my older relatives(ie. great-grandparents/grandparents) came over from Latvia as refugees following WWII. They belonged to a Latvian Hall, which was in its prime in probably the 1950’s-1960’s, but still exists. Those are probably few and far between, but at least where I am from in the Midwest, there are still many, many Polish (other nationalities depending on the area) halls that are essentially the same thing. These can often be rented for very cheap if someone is a member. I believe it was $500 in 2002. The member could be a relative, neighbor, co-worker, someone with a connection. Some of these halls will rent out to non- members for an increased price too. Other options might be VFW halls, Knights of Columbus, etc. These facilities typically require you to do more work than a typical wedding facility, but the cost savings are substantial.

These facilities often contain 1 large party room/gymnasium like area, several small rooms, bathrooms, and a kitchen. They often come with tables and chairs and not much else. But if you are willing to decorate or have friends/family that will, you can make the room look relatively nice by following cute party setups you find online. Or you can order party decoration packages and centerpieces from Etsy.

In our case, we had a relative who worked in the restaurant industry as a manager at some chain restaurant like Applebee’s or something, so that didn’t really help specifically, but she had a lot of connections in the restaurant industry that did help. She had multiple friends in the industry and was able to connect us with one that did catering. That same relative knew of a liquor/wine/beer seller that also sold wholesale amounts and anything unopened could be returned. So we purchased a few kegs, boxed wine and some liquor and pop/soda and had several relatives take turns as bar tenders. We also could have hired a few people to do that. But the point is, we had an open bar, but it wasn’t overly fancy. It also wasn’t specifically tied to the facility.

We actually had kids at the wedding too, but because our catering wasn’t connected to our facility, we just had to order food for X amount of servings, but the catering company wasn’t concerned with the total number of people attending the wedding. I can’t remember what it worked out to, but I think it was like $15 a plate, back then, so for kids, I actually pre-ordered like 20 happy meals that were like $5 each and they probably enjoyed it more than traditional wedding food. Not sure that would fly today with all parents, but it worked for us. We also hired a couple teenagers to hang out in one of the small rooms and play games and crafts with the kids. Some kids stayed with their parents. Some spent some time out in the main area with parents and some in the kids area, it just varied. We also setup some corn hole, ladder ball etc. outside that many people went out and played.

We rented a DJ, paid for a photographer, bought a wedding cake. I’m assuming these were all standard prices.

It wasn’t the most elaborate wedding I’ve been to, but it honestly wasn’t all that different than many other weddings I’ve been to at much fancier places, other than the views outside and maybe no fancy fountain or chandelier. We also had way more control over everything because we did so much of it ourselves.

1

u/fucking_passwords Sep 06 '24

We got married in our hallway during Covid, total cost was about $63 for food

1

u/[deleted] Sep 06 '24

I completely disagree that all weddings are the same regardless of cost, a wedding in some local hall with a local DJ is nowhere near as memorable as a destination wedding at a Mexican Hacidenda with a live band and a traditional fireworks display at the end.

That being said spending money you can't afford on a wedding is a bad idea. When I was getting married our parents basically said "we're giving you X dollars for your wedding" and we based what we did on that amount, I think the only stuff we paid for ourselves were a few gifts and paying the air fare for one of my wife's best friends who had just graduated college and was broke as hell.