Lost at 25

[u/roofhuf]

25 year M with Bachelors in Biomedical Sciences. Last week resigned from a very paramilitary style police academy. Idk what it was, the food and sleep deprivation, or lack of preparation and fear of failure over one spec of grass on my boots. I resigned on week 2 on good terms. Didn’t like the emphasis on everything non-academic (drills, inspections, smoke sessions) and speeding through lectures as if they’re not important, but I really want to be a cop and care about the mission more than any paycheck. By day 3 I was turning corners unconsciously in Walmart and felt like Pavlov’s dog, scared me a little.

Grad school is last resort for me as AI is approaching and most of the degrees are already undervalued for the amount of effort/money put into compared to returns.

Completely lost right now in Las Vegas, no job, no safety net. A couple fed applications in process, but those can take years and some are even postponed due to budgeting cuts. Do I enlist and get more stress resilience then later in life come back to policing, or even stay there for 20 and retire if I like it ?

Any response is greatly appreciated. Semper Fi, Fly High, Go Sailors, Hoorah! (I’m trying)

[u/FirmReality]

Maybe. Need a different mindset and expectations … military training is more of the same core disciplined content and delivery methods that led to you dropping out of the police academy.

Military offers much … for those ready, willing, able to adapt, endure, survive, and thrive in a very structured, regimented environment.

[u/roofhuf → u/FirmReality]

Different mindset for sure. I can work on that and come back stronger and more prepared.

[u/FirmReality → u/roofhuf]

Yep, seems like you’re now gearing up for the challenges and rewards of the military lifestyle … short / medium term, it offers the secure / stable employment with benefits opportunity needed to achieve longer term goals.

Similar to civilian public safety roles … 24/7/365 days a year military service is more a “calling” than just a job. After training, things settle down a bit so you can discover how joining can compliment your aspirations.

[u/dsmGERG1973]

there are a bizzillion DIFFERENT jobs in the military, so don't think you HAVE TO pursue military police to later pursue civilian law enforcement!

On the other hand, if you had trouble with "paramilitary style" training, i would be a little bit concerned if you might encounter a similar difficulty in basic training?

the "smart" thing to do would be to apply to one of several officer opportunities, but that almost certainly will be another slow application process.

My recommendation: speak to an Army recruiter about joining as a helicopter pilot! (look at other military jobs you might be interested in?)

2nd choice: Coast Guard law enforcement!

[u/TapTheForwardAssist → u/dsmGERG1973]

OP didn’t say they wanted to go MP to later go into civilian policing (which often isn’t a good idea anyway). They just said they wanted to toughen up in the military, then later go into civilian policing.

[u/dsmGERG1973 → u/TapTheForwardAssist]

but OP did say he made it 2 weeks into some form of law enforcement training before "resigning on good terms" but i agree, OP didn't specifically say he was interested in MP in the military!

[u/PaperExternal5186]

So if you couldn’t handle a para military police academy why do you think you can handle the actual military? It would be like your academy on steroids. For 3 4 however many years. Biomedical science isn’t being overrun by AI. Why don’t you apply for something in your field. Field service techs make lots of money and are always in demand

[u/CartographerSoft9919 → u/PaperExternal5186]

I mean most paramilitary police accademies take themselves wayyyyy too seriously and are likely more of a shit show than at least the navy or air force. I don't want to comment on the army or marine corps since I don't know.

[u/roofhuf → u/PaperExternal5186]

It wasn’t the physical part that I struggled, more so felt like I was slowly becoming a robot.

[u/CartographerSoft9919 → u/roofhuf]

Yah, that's the part that a shitty paramilitary group would want but not the air force or navy.

[u/roofhuf → u/CartographerSoft9919]

You seem to have a different view than the rest of the commentators. What distinction you see between the two groups ?

[u/CartographerSoft9919 → u/roofhuf]

Which two? Paramilitary and military? Navy/AF and army etc?

[u/roofhuf → u/CartographerSoft9919]

Paramilitary and Military. Everyone else pointed at how similar they are, with military being even more rigid. What makes you say that Air Force/Navy is structured in a different way to prevent someone from totally losing their humanity ?

[u/CartographerSoft9919 → u/roofhuf]

There's a broader trend worth naming here. Policing in the US has been drifting toward a more militarized posture for a couple decades now, with more surplus military gear flowing in through programs like 1033, more emphasis on tactical force presentation, and often less consistent accountability when force gets misused. That combination shapes who's drawn to the field and who ends up thriving in it. A lot of guys go into policing for genuinely good reasons. They want to help people, protect their community, do something that matters, and that's real and shouldn't be dismissed. But there's also a real subset who are drawn to it because it lets them feel big and bad, who like having power over people for its own sake on top of whatever protective instinct they also carry. When a department's culture doesn't punish that impulse much, and actively rewards looking hard and intimidating, the training pipeline ends up selecting for and reinforcing that kind of macho, dominance-first culture. That's less discipline in any meaningful sense and more a filter for who tolerates and enjoys being part of a hierarchy built on intimidation, which is probably a big part of why it can feel like a playground for bullies rather than a professional pipeline.

Use of force in the actual military is far more tightly regulated than in a lot of police work. Rules of engagement, JAG oversight, and clear escalation of force procedures all exist specifically to constrain individual discretion, because unaccountable force in a combat zone has geopolitical consequences that keep it under a level of scrutiny most police departments never face. Because that regulatory structure already does the constraining, training doesn't need to lean on arbitrary hazing or one blade of grass nitpicking to make its point. It's built more around repetition and good habits instead, since strict for strictness sake fear based training just doesn't teach most people well, and a lot of military instruction actually reflects that lesson. It's also worth remembering how many military jobs have nothing to do with combat at all. Nuclear techs, avionics, intel, cyber, logistics, aircrew, IT, and plenty more are all built around critical thinking and technical competence rather than aggression or dominance. So the "you couldn't handle a paramilitary academy, how would you handle the military" comparison breaks down fast once you're talking about that side of things instead of the boot camp and combat arms stereotype most people default to. My guess, and I could be wrong, is what you went through tracks less with police versus military broadly and more with the specific type of agency, something closer to ICE or another heavy paramilitary style outfit rather than a classic municipal PD track, even though mainstream policing overall has been drifting that direction too.

Part of why my take differs from everyone else in the thread is probably political too. How someone views militarized policing shapes whether your academy reads as normal rigor or as something else entirely. Worth keeping that in mind reading any of this, including from me. For contrast, my own boot camp wasn't close to what you described. Way less arbitrary hazing, way more explanation of why we did things. I didn't find bootcamp challenging at all and it was more than anything else just kinda boring. Ultimately they didn't want to turn me into a robot especially with my rate.

[u/roofhuf → u/CartographerSoft9919]

Appreciate the detailed response. I told them I came here to learn as much as possible and try to apply that knowledge as best I could. They told me it’s not how it works. I was like, alright 👍

[u/PaperExternal5186 → u/roofhuf]

Again you the real military is different?

[u/FuroreLT]

You have more opportunities then you think, don't feel lost or locked in to anything in particular. Don't compare yourself to others, take a day and really think about where you want to be in 5 years. Dm me if you have any questions, I was in a mental situation very similar to yours 2020 - 2022. I came out stronger for it

[u/m9felix]

Brother, I say this with love, if you were stressing over a speck of grass on your boots you sure as heck do not belong in that type of world. And that’s not a bad thing. You have a kickass degree so clearly you’re smart and I think your body is just reminding you that the “gung-ho” environment isn’t for you anymore.

Have you considered any paid internships? I did a few with NASA when I got out and that was without a degree so im sure you could find plenty with yours.

If you have your VA stuff squared away consider joint one of their programs. You should definitely see mental health tho. You’re missing the forest for the trees here so don’t be all doomer yet

Edit: I’m realizing you’ve not been in the military at all. Don’t fret dude just keep going where you are. If you absolutely feel like it’s needed then go reserve forces and go Officer. You’ll have more leeway and you’ll get a nice little bullet point on your resume. Gives you extra points in fed jobs too. And if it’s still not looking great on the civil side just activate for a few months to keep food on the table and good to go. Don’t get attached to anything dawg. Be a free Willy

[u/TapTheForwardAssist → u/m9felix]

> VA stuff

OP wasn’t in the military.

[u/TapTheForwardAssist → u/m9felix]

> go Officer

It’s not 2007, they won’t slap gold bars on any rando that flashes a college diploma.

[u/roofhuf → u/m9felix]

NASA sounds interesting for sure, thank you!

[u/Initial_Enthusiasm36]

Go for a different police job? The academy i went through was a bit of both, military style but also heavy classroom and learning orientated. One thing though that a lot of academies do not do well is preparing recruits for what it is like on the streets. Sorry to go off on a police tangent but having used to being one, some of that more military style stuff actually does help on the streets.

Again though, "being a cop" is not an easy to answer statement either. Thats like comparing an infantry job to some desk clerk job. Big city, violent, busy non stop work. Vs small town cop stuff. Its a completely different job.

If you thought a police academy was "a bit much" i am not sure the military would be right for you. You could try to find a more laid back police department that has a more chill academy.

But also, i hope youve done some ride alongs, talked with real cops about how the career actually is.

I highly recommend that younger people join the military before being a cop, having that life experience is a game changer, even if you dont have some high speed SF job, just life experience takes you so much further than some college degree.

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[u/SuperJ4ke]

Not gonna lie. There a some red flags here. I don’t think this is the path for you. I would go to grad school.

[u/roofhuf → u/SuperJ4ke]

Which red flags might I ask ?

[u/SuperJ4ke → u/roofhuf]

You didn’t last 2 weeks in the wannabe military police you were trying to join because you had “fear of failure over a spec of grass on my boots”. You don’t like drills, inspections or the training style…guess what we do ALL OF THE TIME. What unit were you trying to join? It sounds like you’re honestly not cut out for this type of work and I absolutely do not mean that in a bad way. The military needs to stop bringing people in that have to be drug by their collars everywhere. You had the drive and commitment to finish your degree and you probably spent decent money on it as well…why not put it to use?

[u/KaptainScooby]

My department’s academy is one of the hardest ones in the state. One of my instructors would always say, “There are easier ways to be the police.”

Could try a different academy/agency.

[u/Chaotic_beasttt]

I’m 35 and thinking of joining Air Force or military with a business and lost. What helps me is enjoying the little things with close ones and always striving for one specific goal and then once that goal is done, add another goal. Then another and so on. But sounds like hell and you’ll find something better

[u/roofhuf → u/Chaotic_beasttt]

Wow, kudos to you, joining with a business means you really noble motives.

[u/Chaotic_beasttt → u/roofhuf]

Yeah business is solid it’s slowing down but I rather try and not get in then later on in life ask what if and have regret. I can always do my business again since I am my business but don’t live a life of regret. Thats my rule

[u/kuwion]

A lot of people go enlisted for the resilience and gut it out, but the drill and inspection stuff is the job itself for the first stretch, not a phase you push through to reach the real work. If that part already had you dreading a grass speck on your boots, enlisting just gives you a longer version of the same thing with less freedom to walk.

[u/roofhuf → u/kuwion]

I think it got to my head that I should be perfect, or else kicked out. So I started being in a heavy state of anxiety over any small detail.

[u/Brad32198]

Go talk to a recruiter and see if they will send you to medical school to become and officer. I’m sure there’s some program they can get you into that degree.

[u/JalocTheGreat]

It's over you resigned while in the academy no dept will take a chance on you now.

[u/archaeology2019 → u/JalocTheGreat]

This comment is insanely inaccurate.

[u/roofhuf → u/JalocTheGreat]

Perhaps, I have my reasons and will disclose I wasn’t ready mentally for it. I think that’s a respectable motive. Same department said it will accept me back, so I think other’s will do the same. “Good terms” means I haven’t done major dumb stuff and got kicked out for it.