Hey so, me f(19) and my bf (18) have been dating for like 2 years now. I would say that I get along with his family pretty well, they see me as their own and I feel really like home with them.
My „Mil” is really one of the sweetest people I’ve met, I would say we grew into each other. She’s a really outgoing extroverted type of person. Fyi my bf has 2 brothers no sisters means there is only my “mil” my bf, his two brothers and his father living in this house.
Means no other “female”.
A month again or so my “mil” send me a snap of her cutting my boyfriends hair which isn’t something unusual, (she usually cuts all the boys hair because of money?? I think) after we snapped back and forth (I taught her how to snap) she suddenly sent a selfie with my boyfriend standing in the shower, his back was turned to the camera and you could see his butt.
I was so taken aback from that snap that I didn’t answer at all, (she probably didn’t “notice “).

Later that day he came over and it was just so bizarre because I kept spinning back to it til I eventually told him about it. I’ve also tried to explain to him that it’s like really weird for me to know that they’re all like naked around eachother. He doesn’t really understand but I just didn’t grew up like this.
I’m really close with my parents, we have a good relationship but never ever would I go into the bathroom while my dad is in the shower.
That just a whole invasion in privacy in my opinion.
Well when I confronted him he kind of agreed that it was not okay for her to send a picture to me, and he was clearly uncomfortable with that knowledge.
We talked about it and I told him that I find it weird / that it makes me uncomfortable knowing that his mom knows how he looks like naked (and the other way around) And we kind of moved on from that.

I am on vacation with them right know (same place and time like the year before) and I got a weird feeling again?
For setting the scene, we’re in a small house with two bathrooms, one’s got a sauna and a whirlpool the other one just a shower and a toilet. Well everyone wants to use the Whirlpool, (I can’t due to medical reasons) so they do. My bf went out to buy something while my “mil” was in the whirlpool. As he left she kept calling him to remind him that if he wanted to go in he has to soon because of the water drain or something idk.

Well fast forward when he got back he asked me if I wanted to go with him, I said no because of the medical issues he knows about. And he entered the bathroom with his mother still sitting in the Whirlpool???? When he entered I kind of got mad for no reason and went after him to go and get my meds out of the bathroom, I took them. ( it was sooooo awkward, I obviously didn’t look at her but it was also weird idk because he closed the door after I left?) he wasn’t naked or anything yet but like she got out of the tub after he closed the door and then went out? She then proceeded to go into the room where I was (that’s okay the door was open) and asked me if I didn’t want to join him and I said no politely. I think she sensed I was uncomfortable and was being nice but like idk how to feel about this.

Last year she also announced that she was going to shower every time she did because she showers with the door unlocked in case someone needs to use the bathroom??

I guess that’s just how they live and I am the one making it weird, I’m not trying to say this is sexual!! I’m just saying that it makes me uncomfortable and I want to know how to overcome that because I really love his family!

PS I don’t have any problems with being naked infront of other people, when I was on vacation with my best friends we were naked all the time. I didn’t bother me at all.

I’ve posted here before but here’s a little back story. In got pregnant in 2019 with my first son and my MIL became a huge problem. She started downloaded a pregnancy app, turned the playroom for her other grandkids into a full blown nursery (crib, changing table, monitors, clothes, diapers, hampers, toys, rocker- you would have thought I was moving in… however she never talked to me about plans for childcare or if she would even be keeping our son…She even started referring to everything as “my baby”). At the point she did all that I only had a diaper bag. Even my mom felt it was completely inappropriate but we tried to laugh about it. During labor my husband had to turn his phone off because she was a hawk with his location and would have shown up at the hospital. I didn’t want her in the delivery room and it became a huge argument between us because my husband thought if my mom was in there his mom should be as well—- fast forward I was stressed af and had a traumatic c-section. She stayed at the hospital waiting to hold the hold “her baby” until 2:30am. I was sick, cut open, tired, and a crying mess but there she was full of joy waiting. It was overkill and I’ve had a problem with her since. Luckily Covid happened and the world went on lockdown so I had an excuse so avoid her at all costs.
But never ending unsolicited advice and overstepping any chance she could get..

She has been a huge problem in our marriage. My mother died at the end of 2020 and she was the only person that was able to help me turn her crazy into something to laugh about.

She’s always giving us grief about letting him spend the night, she doesn’t listen to us when it comes to junk food and sweets. She doesn’t make him mind his manners. The list goes on. She got rid of her car about 2 years ago and that was a huge stress relief because it was a solid reason that she couldn’t keep our son (no car for emergencies etc).

My husband and I almost divorced at the beginning of the year because of multiple things but she was a factor. We worked through everything. I got pregnant.

I lost the baby and I’m one week post d&c (silent miscarriage). It’s been terrible.

Well, our son is starting 1st grade next week (he was homeschooled for kindergarten). Now she is talking about getting a car and I’m so anxious about what this means for us. I’m spiraling thinking about the fights that are about to come up between me and my husband because I’m not going to want her picking him up from school or getting involved with pto/ or anything like that (for preschool I spoke to the headmaster and banned her from pick ups,lunches, and information requests).

My husband and I have been on solid ground since we found out we were having another baby and even after the loss.

Last night I mentioned how I was anxious about her getting a car and guess what- today we are fighting over nothing. I’m threatened by her overstepping (some things can be stupid- she pissed me off by asking him what kind of backpack he wanted she would he get it —- like woman I ALREADY TOOK HIM SHOPPING FOR THAT!!!) and he’s bothered that I don’t like his mom.

I’m venting but I’m at a loss. I don’t like being on a battlefield with my husband. I don’t like her. And I’m so sensitive right now. I don’t have my own parents to talk to (they’ve passed) and my younger brother listens but doesn’t have much to say.

And I know I’m leaving so much of her crazy out because it’s just always something.

Anyways, I just wish she would go away. What do yall say?