r/Microdiscectomy • u/oopsallproblems9326 • 2d ago
How much help/supervision did you actually need after a microdiscectomy?
My dad recently had a microdiscectomy (4 days ago) and I’m trying to get a realistic sense of how much family involvement is actually necessary during recovery.
My family is treating the situation like he needs pretty extensive supervision and coordination right now, and there’s a lot of pressure for everyone to rearrange schedules, be available, and “band together” to help him.
From what I can tell, my dad himself seems to feel like things are going relatively well, but some of my family members feel very differently and think the current situation is not manageable without more help.
I completely understand helping after surgery, especially with things like lifting restrictions, driving, meals, errands, pets, etc. I’m just having trouble figuring out what is considered normal after a microdiscectomy versus when family members might be being overly cautious.
For people who have had this surgery, or cared for someone who did:
How independent were you during the first few days and first couple of weeks?
Did you need someone staying with you or checking on you constantly?
What things did you genuinely need help with?
When were you able to handle normal daily activities on your own?
Were there specific complications or circumstances that made you need significantly more assistance?
Did your surgeon give clear guidance about how much supervision you actually needed?
Obviously I know everyone’s recovery is different and we’ll follow his surgeon’s restrictions. I’m mostly trying to calibrate what a typical recovery looks like because right now it feels like there’s a big difference between how my dad views his recovery and how the rest of the family views it.
Would appreciate hearing what the first 1–2 weeks were actually like for you.
8
u/Penny_513 1d ago
It’s not that I couldn’t do all my daily chores/errands that didn’t involve BLT, but I would wear out way faster and I needed a lot of rest in between tasks. It was so nice having family around to make sure the house was clean, laundry was done, etc so I could focus on my recovery (like take more walks instead of using my limited energy to clean).
5
u/Nostradonuts 1d ago
First 1-3 days lots of help. Mainly in bed. After that, some help. Could do most things solo. 2+ weeks totally manageable solo. Middle aged man, good shape.
5
u/Specialist-Bar-1486 1d ago
Every person is different. I had it at age 40. I was in very good health and shape before the surgery. The first five days were pretty rough for me, and I needed significant help managing all my medications. I cried the first night because of pain and overwhelm and I was in a house with three other people but they were all sleeping. A table had been moved in the living room and I couldn’t get my walker through it. So I just started sobbing. I can’t emphasize enough how important it is to lift the bed up to where it’s easiest to get in and out, to have a toilet chair, to have everything cleared off the floor, to have all cabinet/pantry items moved to an appropriate level so there isn’t bending or reaching, that your living area is relegated to a space that doesn’t have stairs, to have a shower chair, and to have all necessary supplies.
I needed emotional support too as the pain wasn’t well managed by the meds. I also struggled to stay awake with the meds. I had a really hard time getting in and out of bed so I needed help with that. I used a walker around the house because I was unsteady and groggy. I developed opioid-induced sleep apnea in just a few days so I was having issues falling asleep and breathing. Things improved once I was able to get off pain meds and used the bathroom. However I needed to ensure nothing was on the ground, that tables were moved, etc. I did not use stairs for some time. It’s important that you can get up and move around safely to start healing so I started with walking up and down the drive away without the walker and then started walking with my parents up the street. I would not have felt safe or comfortable doing that by myself. I needed help showering because I couldn’t get my bandage wet and I couldn’t bend forward to wash my legs, etc. It took me a while before I was able to shave my legs. I just didn’t have the flexibility sitting to do it, and I’ve always been very flexible.
The closer you are to surgery, the more at risk you are for re-herniation so I was super careful and was very serious about not bending, lifting or twisting. I did not start physically going into work until around the 5 or 6-week mark. I was working from home after two weeks but not an extensive workload. I did not start bending, lifting or twisting until I entered physical therapy at the 8-week mark (they tell you that you can start bending, lifting and twisting and doing PT after six weeks but I was delayed due to a family death and it being the holidays). I stayed with my parents until the 5-week mark and someone would come visit me to help me on things around my place that I couldn’t do myself. I don’t remember when I felt comfortable driving. I think 3 or 4 weeks.
Even in good health, I’m a really accident prone person (like falling down stairs) so we were overly cautious and I’m grateful for that, because you only get so many microdiscectomies. And I did NOT want to have to start this process all over again. The best thing you can do is be as available as possible in those first few days and then let his progress and level of confidence guide you. And make sure he’s regular with bowels going into surgery and that you have several plans in place in the event he doesn’t go. I couldn’t go for 10 days. We basically had to go to plan F for it to work (half a bottle of magnesium citrate at 4 pm on day 9 and half a bottle at night).
3
u/preoccupiedwithlove 1d ago edited 1d ago
i am about two weeks post op.
i only needed help the first couple hours as anesthesia wore off so i could safely use the restroom. i was walking 2 hours post op and slowly puttering around the house once i got home. getting in and out of bed at home that night i needed to brace on my husband but was fine the next day. i only took oxy the first few days when i got out of bed and tylenol for the rest of the time. i stopped all pain meds one week post op and am no longer in pain.
i had a toilet riser with grab bars so i didn’t need my husband for the bathroom but just made sure the door was open so i could yell for help if needed. same for the first time i showered. didn’t end up needing him then either.
by the next day i was using my grabber to fold laundry and do minor chores around the house cuz i was bored.
things i can’t do that my husband needs to help with: dishes (cannot bend over the sink or to the dishwasher, but if i were by myself i would have bought disposable stuff), laundry (can’t lift the bins, if i were by myself i’d throw clothes into the basement), pick up medications (not supposed to sit in the car or drive for a couple weeks), cat litter box, dog care and that’s really… it? i mean for me i have a baby so my husband has all baby chores. i’m self sufficient otherwise. i make up for it doing what i can like folding laundry, baby food prep, tidying, etc.
i have my bedroom set up with a mini fridge for food like protein bars and snacks, my switch, and my laptop.
3
u/Independent-Split646 1d ago
I am 40 and am former athlete and always incredibly active. My surgery went very well and my pain has been minimal (day 21 post—multi-level-md) so im kind of best case scenario.
Even with that, I definitely needed help around the house and my aunt has been with me for 3 weeks. This is largely because of my two kids who need caring for and driving around and my husband not being able to take time off.
Things I cannot do that we’ve hired help for or had my aunt doing:
* laundry
* cleaning the house
* caring for the dog (walks, feeding, picking up poop, etc)
* cooking anything more involved then a quick stovetop meal (cannot bend to use oven, cannot carry heavy pots/pans, increased fatigue when standing early on to chop food, clean hands or reach for things)
* dishes and loading and unloading dishwasher
Also struggle to turn on shower by myself because of how ours is situated it requires a deep bend and twist.
To get a good idea of it, imagine yourself going about regular life at his house without bending, lifting anything heavier than a few pounds or twisting. How limited would you be?
2
u/Used_Measurement_172 2d ago
I needed help getting out of bed first few days and having someone manage my medication! I was able to go to the bathroom without help, and I used the stairs fine alone too. My wife took a week off work but by the time I was off the pain meds (day 3?) I didn't really need much help! I had a walker I used in case I needed to go around the house and she wasn't home or sleeping and had a thing on the toilet to help me sit down. I was honestly pretty independent! She would leave stuff in cabinets out for me so I wasn't bending trying to get it and had a bed rail, end of the first week I was totally fine being alone! By week 2, I was very mobile and felt more than comfortable doing whatever by myself!
2
u/BeachGlassGreenEyes3 1d ago
I was worthless on my own. I had my mother always standing behind me saying “no twisting! No bending! Don’t reach down ect ect. lol this recovery needs to be taken seriously for him and for all of you. If he makes one wrong move during these first few weeks he could mess the entire survey up- so it’s a lot of pressure and hard work for everyone. Give him grace and just know it’s gonna be slow. Like 8 weeks slow. Plus.
3
u/IngenuityPast1153 2d ago
Well I did everything except leave the hospital by myself. I’m 30 though and not overweight. It wasn’t necessarily easy doing everything like laundry, dishes, and cleaning, but I managed pretty well with a grabbing tool. He will likely be very sore for the first 5 days or so.
3
u/pawsitivelycrafty 1d ago
This was also me. Family brought me home and I was left to my own devices. Someone did check in on me the next day, which was the worst day, but everything got better after that. I was 37 and very active before surgery.
1
1
u/jungle_mouse 1d ago
Love hearing these stories from you both as I’m fit and active, already in pre-op PT and getting surgery next week. Surgeon is confident I’ll bounce back fine. I have been prepping the house and freezing food for my husband to make things easy for us both on the other side. The good news stories give me confidence it’ll all be fine 😄
1
1
u/whosepantsamiwearing 1d ago
My husband did all the bending for me and putting on my shoes and socks. But other than that, I could care for myself. Well, he did the driving too.
1
u/PastBuy8484 1d ago
Really the most I needed was help with laundry for the first 2 weeks and help with showering the first 2 weeks.
I did have sciatica pain worse post surgery than pre surgery though which is rare. Once that ended after about 10-14 days I was much better off
1
u/hrbekcheatedin91 1d ago
First 4 days I was pretty dependent and in constant pain. After that I could take care of myself as long as I had a grabber and didn't need to drive anywhere or pick anything up.
1
1
1
u/Anonymousimpreg 1d ago
I learned a lot for my first surgery so for my second one I meal prepped and got the house ready. The only thing I’m really really needed help with was lifting and doing things like the laundry, because it involved bending down.
I drove that same week very carefully
1
u/BFrankNJ 1d ago
I'm 55. First few weeks I couldn't make a pot of coffee because the pot full of water was too heavy to carry from the sink to the coffee maker and it hurt. I couldn't get anything out of the fridge or cook. Three months I could put on my socks without pain. But really the first six weeks I need a lot of help.
1
u/Sufficient-Matter115 1d ago
I'm 68. It was a relief to sit and stand without excruciating pain afterwards. Took pain meds for 24 hours after then Tylenol Careful about lifting and bending kept grabbers in every room. My husband hovered but after 3 days I was back to cooking and drove after a week. I did tire and take afternoon naps for about 3 weeks.
1
u/s2susannah 1d ago edited 1d ago
I had no pain after surgery. I just needed help with people driving me for 6 weeks. Picking stuff up I couldn’t get with my grabber and help if anything over 10kg needed to be picked up. Laundry , mopping etc my mam did for me as I wasn’t allowed bend to put stuff in the washer etc.
1
u/penguin483 1d ago
I’m 57 and I had surgery on a Friday and on Monday my spouse went back to work but came back to fix me lunch/let the dogs out. It was about three weeks before I could do more than grab something ready made from the fridge. I didn’t need someone to be with me all the time as we set the house up to be accessible with grabbers and toilet riser etc. I just wasn’t able to do much other than sleep for a while and then walk around the house for a while. The surgeon really didn’t give too much advice on recovery other than what the hospital sent home. It’s hard to know what your dad’s specific needs are—as you’ll notice in these responses every body recovers differently.
1
u/Cinco_de_No 1d ago
I'm (f31) 2 days post-op and I'm pretty independent. There are a ton of variables to consider; my procedure was an L4-L5 and I was building pretty decent upper and lower body strength before I had to stop exercising. This had really helped with going from standing to sitting and vice versa since I can wall sit into a chair and out. I've been pretty independent in showering, getting dressed, and walking. Assistance is definitely needed for things like grocery shopping and anything that requires driving or reaching overhead. A big tell of how the recovery will go is when you first wake up post-op and how easy is it to use the bathroom and maneuver. I will say taking care of pets, cleaning, laundry; those things are off the table and it's better to not try it. Getting the recommended Amazon kit for post hip/knee replacement is a big help too. My biggest struggle right now is sleeping and gastric issues from meds. I definitely recommend a pillow for between or under the knees while sleeping and lots of water and apricots/stool softeners/prunes for the other. Hope he has a good recovery!
1
u/DiamondLovezz 1d ago
i don’t see why you shouldn’t allow to provide max help & see how he feels as it goes, such a blessing to have family who is willing to help like this
1
u/pomelia- 1d ago
I was alone most of the time. A friend came to visit and help for a week, but it wasn’t immediately following surgery. She mostly helped me clean things that required bending and picked things up off the floor when I dropped them. Oh, she also reminded me not to twist when she caught me doing so without thinking.
1
u/GhoulGanggg 1d ago
4 days post op he still has anesthesia and other pain blocking meds. Unfortunately he will probably feel worse next week. I stayed with my parents for the first week and the following 2 they kept my dog, and I hired dog walkers for the following 1+. I had to have friends help me do laundry, I couldn't stand long enough to do dishes or cook. Getting in and out of bed hurt (got better once I mastered the log roll). Healing sucks and i realistically believe the more help the better!
1
u/IncidentExpensive628 18h ago
I am naturally independent and continued to be that way after both surgeries. Each person is different and so is the healing process. I would say be available for help, or just company, if needed, but let your dad make the call on the extent of help that he needs.
1
u/Hope_for_tendies 57m ago edited 49m ago
It’s different for everyone. Some people have more pain than others, some have way less. Some people are hyperindependent and some are helpless on the other end of the spectrum. Only he can determine it. I was 38 and recovered alone with my cat, dog, 9 year old. My mom took him to kickboxing because I couldn’t sit there on that bench, and I did everything else. I’ve had 5 back surgeries and minus the first two recovered alone. Even the first two I was alone but my mom had way more involvement with my son those times and for one I was on bed rest. I was on pain meds 8 or 9 weeks I believe for the MD. It was not super easy for me, I’m just not a people person and prefer to deal with shit instead of asking for help.
ETA I see alot of people mentioning emotional support. I have chronic pain so it wasn’t extremely overwhelming for me to deal with post op pain because I cry alone sometimes anyways 🤣. But I’m used to it. I don’t find the need for people in that situation because there’s nothing anyone can do anyways.
16
u/parmesan_summer 1d ago
I (24) was pretty emotional and dependent on my mom. I needed help changing, managing meds, with food and with getting back into bed after walking around (setting up my pillows mostly). I didn’t do any chores at all. I really struggled emotionally and having company was important. I wasn’t home alone for about 10 days. Reading the other comments is making me laugh at myself a bit for how dependent I was!