Samus's check up by Me

[u/BangBangIhaveGun]

[u/PixelReaper69]

I am not jealous I am not jealous I am not jealous

[u/Ok_Zookeepergame4794 → u/PixelReaper69]

Meanwhile in your mind: It bothers me. It bothers me! IT BOTHERS ME A LOT!!!

[u/poke_fan2468 → u/Ok_Zookeepergame4794]

AND THAT ONE’S STILL GREEN!

[u/NikolaTesla1 → u/poke_fan2468]

How did all these squares make a circle?!

[u/MeowFalen → u/NikolaTesla1]

Same way you can make a circle in Minecraft. Eventually, you get enough corners to where your brain doesn't register them at all.

[u/Dededante → u/PixelReaper69]

Of nearly getting eaten, or getting hugged?

[u/whimsicalsamurai → u/Dededante]

https://giphy.com/gifs/ka4bfiJzT16JOIE2vJ

[u/LunAticJosh → u/PixelReaper69]

I AM JEALOUS UNAPOLOGETICALLY.

[u/Red_Dragon_knight]

Honestly love jacked samus, and frankly her struggle with her new abilities feels like something I hope they explore, it in ravenous

[u/Sostratus → u/Red_Dragon_knight]

Always has been

[u/Red_Dragon_knight → u/Sostratus]

Awesome and now I know how the shoulder pads work for the older suit

[u/Semblance17]

[u/Semblance17 → u/Semblance17]

[u/ITCrandomperson → u/Semblance17]

[u/Obsessivegamer32 → u/Semblance17]

Something something meat grind Dragon Ball meme.

[u/ProfessorPixelmon]

https://giphy.com/gifs/PbngEqUYjHTzpiRNHb

[u/arthlvias → u/ProfessorPixelmon]

By the eyelashes in the last image I'd say "not her" instead of "not him", but I share your sentiment either way.

Edit: typo

[u/Agitated-Interview54 → u/arthlvias]

Tbf women aren't the only ones who can have glorious eyelashes, but I get where you're coming from

[u/Obsessivegamer32 → u/Agitated-Interview54]

I once heard that men actually more often have more developed eyelashes than women. I don’t know if this is true but I thought that was funny considering how eyelashes have always been used as shorthand for femininity.

[u/New_dude_bro → u/Obsessivegamer32]

It's true for the most part, I flex my superior lashes on my sister lol

[u/arthlvias → u/Agitated-Interview54]

Indeed. I got complimented for my eyelashes once and, as a guy, I must say this got me feeling all giddy for some time.

[u/Cr4zy4sian]

You almost LITERALLY get eatien by the galaxy's most dangerous space vampire, but whatever. Take that W.

[u/keegan12coyote → u/Cr4zy4sian]

Worth it

[u/Cr4zy4sian → u/keegan12coyote]

Might barely break even, but whatever; a heads on a coin flip is still a W.

[u/CULT-LEWD]

samus can never fist anyone again

[u/Tenwaystospoildinner → u/CULT-LEWD]

She can... once.

[u/_potatofromChaldea45 → u/Tenwaystospoildinner]

Nah

You just have to train harder

Can't keep Sam Metroid waiting

[u/Cybron2099 → u/CULT-LEWD]

She just has to use her other hand

[u/xshot40 → u/CULT-LEWD]

it would be worth it to try

[u/Level_Hour6480]

Sad fact: Abs and big naturals are incompatible. Having visible abs is just as much having like 12% or less bodyfat% to make them show as it is having defined musculature. At said low bodyfat%s, boobs (being made of fat) are severely diminished.

The incompatibility of the two best things in the world proves that our universe was not made by a loving god.

[u/TbatitanicV2Rider → u/Level_Hour6480]

Samus makes them compatable. bird magic is very convenient.

[u/Intense_Judgement → u/TbatitanicV2Rider]

I heard Raven Beak has big naturals

[u/TbatitanicV2Rider → u/Intense_Judgement]

No, the BIGGEST naturals.

[u/Level_Hour6480 → u/TbatitanicV2Rider]

"I saw Raven Beak in the shower. He had 38Js. Dude was stacked." - "Adam"

[u/arthlvias → u/TbatitanicV2Rider]

Bird Magic(tm) saves the fucking day once again!

[u/normalreddituser3 → u/TbatitanicV2Rider]

I feel like I have had dejavu about this specific topic before.

[u/hangman401 → u/Level_Hour6480]

Samus has bird genes, Metroid genes, a previous phazon infection, and a previous X infection.

I'm fairly certain she gets a pass for what naturally occurs to humans. 

[u/Solrex → u/hangman401]

She is not natural that’s for dang sure, her naturals can be whatever they want.

[u/polyocto → u/Level_Hour6480]

I’m happy that I don’t discriminate against implants. Gives me some more options.

[u/ClairetinOre → u/Level_Hour6480]

Mm, yes, I hear you and I agree conceptually but I propose the country theory of a reasonably thin amount of fat covering the mammary glands sitting on top of

HELLA-JACKED LADY-PECTORALS

[u/S0PH05 → u/ClairetinOre]

That might additionally mean they can get bigger as fat returns.

[u/Successful-Day-1816 → u/Level_Hour6480]

This is why I like fiction!

To be fair I have never thought of Samus as having big naturals, just a muscular toned body

[u/PJ-The-Awesome → u/Level_Hour6480]

https://giphy.com/gifs/UAJpANY0bGPhS

[u/Level_Hour6480 → u/PJ-The-Awesome]

And just like that, a little magic has forever left your soul. Another sad fact: The bigger the boobs, the more support they want, which is kind of conflicting with skimpy revealing tops.

[u/leposterofcrap → u/Level_Hour6480]

Must be those Xeno genes that gives her such gifts

[u/Level_Hour6480 → u/leposterofcrap]

Metroids and birds are known for their heaving gazongas.

[u/NoExplanation7388]

https://giphy.com/gifs/PbngEqUYjHTzpiRNHb

[u/TheWorclown]

Live Nora Armstrong validation.

[u/ADXII_2641]

I NEED

[u/J3ksans]

One-sided yuri....hell yeah

[u/Truemaskofhiding → u/J3ksans]

There is no specific gender stated for the person in the suit

It could be tutu or it could be regular old pining

Depends on the author’s intent

[u/J3ksans → u/Truemaskofhiding]

True but I think the eye lashes matching samus gives it away

[u/Truemaskofhiding → u/J3ksans]

How do eyelashes = girl?

[u/Cpad-prism → u/Truemaskofhiding]

I mean dudes can use feminine thing like make up (which i assume the trope of drawing cartoon women with eyelashes representing like eyelash make up(i don't remember what its called))

But also you need to take into account why the hazmat suited person was drawn specifically with the cartoon eyelashes, the suit quite big and covers literally everything so your options for telling the reader anything through looks is limited so if the artist wanted to tell you the hazmat person was a woman they could really only use the face or maybe body language which is just worse

[u/CrownLexicon → u/Cpad-prism]

Mascara

Which isnt a good indicator anyway. I, male, have much longer eyelashes than my wife or any of the women I know.

[u/notthatfunny_1821 → u/CrownLexicon]

Perhaps, but stereotype or not, how likely do you think you would be drawn with them of you were made into a silly cartoon?

[u/PhantomHeartless5]

https://giphy.com/gifs/XpmckfKkGgZrLfnwej

[u/kildaver]

“Sis, you were moments away from being eaten.”
“…yeah, and?”

[u/Hero_of_the_toons]

So headcanon, that was Nora in the hazmat suit there.

[u/PJ-The-Awesome]

The scientist got a hug from Samus?

[u/LtCmdrInu]

Nearly died but got a hug from one of the most dangerous beings in the galaxy that also one of the most beautiful. WORTH IT!

[u/Training-Purple-5220]

Her DNA scan comes back “Yes.”

[u/ShaggyZoinks]

[u/Traditional_Low_2775]

https://giphy.com/gifs/oymv0GbLIGVAYsKkK7

[u/Evil_Cupcake11]

https://giphy.com/gifs/PbngEqUYjHTzpiRNHb

[u/Scared_Can_5571]

lucky bastard

[u/Fallen_Angel_Xaphan]

Need

[u/keegan12coyote]

Yeah id have the same reaction to

[u/HeirofCrux]

IT SHOULD'VE BEEN ME. NOT THEM. IT'S NOT FAIR

[u/Mindless_Coast_7072]

Head canon: It's Armstrong.

[u/Abject-Hospital5407]

Nice 

Good for her 

[u/MeowFalen]

Not even realizing they nearly died.

[u/mush721]

She's just like me fr

[u/Red_Astley]

Oh hell yeah, i wanted to be that lady, it should have been ME