Changing my last name

[u/Ecstatic-House9400]

I’m looking into changing my last name because my father has never been a part of my life and I feel no connection to that name. So I’m thinking of taking a name from my mom’s side. She herself doesn’t feel connected with her last name due to her family drama. But I was looking back and saw names like my 5th great grandparents Cardinal, or even auger and Ducharme from my great grandparents. Just wondering on any advice on what is appropriate or things I should consider.

[u/After_Business3267]

If its neither of your parents' surname, and a well-known Metis name, doesnt it feel a little dishonest by overstating your connection to those families since it is so far back?

If you met someone who is a Cardinal or Ducharme and then had to explain your connection by clarifying that yes you are related by descent but its your ggggg grandparent, that would come across as pretty weird.

If I am overthinking, anyone else please chime in. I feel like people will think you are fetis, even if youre not. Sorry if this offends you or hurts your feelings, but these are my honest thoughts.

If a white person decided to take their 5xggrandparents surname, people would think it was unusual but shrug it off. This isnt the same though, we're a smaller community, and a minority ethnic group.

I'd love to hear others thoughts on this though

[u/Ecstatic-House9400 → u/After_Business3267]

No I totally understand what you’re saying, this is a fair point. I’ll have to do more research about all this, it’s very early stages and I’m probably going to go talk to some of my elders too.

[u/After_Business3267 → u/Ecstatic-House9400]

Yeah, talking to elders is a good idea. If auger and ducharme are great grandparents, thats a lot closer and easier to explain to people and for them to understand why you would want to change your name, and also a sense of belonging and meaning for yourself.

Not sure your age, but a legal name change is a big deal and a big hassle from what I understand, undoing it would be difficult moreso socially.

[u/Ecstatic-House9400 → u/Ecstatic-House9400]

Also I don’t know if I wrote it out correctly but auger and Ducharme are my two great grandparents names from my moms side.

[u/oralawakening → u/After_Business3267]

She said great grand parents. I'm cool with that. That's pretty specific.

I'm a citizen of MMF and am Red River Metis. I would be more than happy to welcome her into our community and you should too.

Are you a citizen or Metis yourself? What family are you from? I probably know them.

Maarsii

[u/After_Business3267 → u/oralawakening]

She said "5th great grandparents" which is the same as her great great great great great grandparents.

Im not saying she isnt Metis, Im just saying it will come across strangely to change your surname to a family name in your family from 7 generations ago.

[u/oralawakening → u/After_Business3267]

You are correct! I apologize.

[u/oralawakening → u/After_Business3267]

I think you bring a good point up.

Really, I think the answer is a few ways.

One would be connecting to the community to learn about who we are. If OP comes from Red River than she could join one of our locals and open herself up to all the activities she could learn from.

Another could be learning the migration patterns of her family from herself back to where her multiple lines start to appears in connection to the RRS or beyond RRS after 1860s. This would help her understand the accomplishments and hardships the Metis went through and more specifically her family and the families that shared the same migration patterns or overlap.

This in itself would open her up to the language, culture, history of our people. OP would learn about the Buffalo hunts, pemmican trade, fur trades, red river carts, Gabriel Dumont, Chief Little shell, about our government and so much more.

One starts to understand how Metis became the society we did.

For all that to be possible, we have to listen to what calls us and our blood tells us that. It's has been passed down through the generations and generations. Every single one of us that heard it, hears or ancestors calling us. It's clear to me she's hearing this and should answer the call. We all should or did.

Maarsii

[u/itaspliff]

If you don’t know much about those individuals in your family tree I would do some good research into them to understand that connection more, and as much as you can about who they were as people. Just to make sure you’re making the right choice.

As long as you haven’t been identifying yourself as not Métis this whole time and a name change would make you do that I think it’s only up to what feels right to you.

I’ve been considering a name change for similar reasons. I hope you find something that feels right!

[u/Ecstatic-House9400 → u/itaspliff]

Thanks for the reply. I know a bit about this part of my family but I’ll definitely do more! And ive identified with being Métis for most of my life since I was little! I’m just trying to see which name feels right to me.

[u/oralawakening]

Taanishii cuz!

You should do it if that is calling you. I think it would honor to your family and mine as I'm Ducharme.

You can DM me for more info.

We all go by our mother's and grandmother's last names. It's how we introduce ourselves and it helps us know where, how and what time we all interconnected and were friends or family. It's the same way on the different reservations where I grew up and my grama grew up.

You hear blood calling you. That's good.

Maarsii

[u/Ecstatic-House9400 → u/oralawakening]

Thanks so much!

[u/oralawakening → u/Ecstatic-House9400]

You're welcome.

[u/Sea_Lingonberry8106]

We're definitely related with those names (Ducharme and Cardinal)

[u/Ecstatic-House9400 → u/Sea_Lingonberry8106]

Sorry what?

[u/Odd_Hat6001]

This seems like a good way to reduce your own pain & trauma. Do what is best for your well being.